It is a common knowledge that the rates of
marriages and divorces in the country are
rising. While marriage is a beautiful thing,
divorce is not; that I why I do not wish for it
for anybody. I am not an advocate of divorce;
however, there are certain circumstances such as
abuse (yes, I call cheating an emotional abuse),
that may force one to think about it.

Considering a divorce does not necessarily mean
getting one; it depends on the situation which I
decided to break down. Now being some sort of a
geek that I am, I used the 3 ‘W’ and the ‘how’
questions to analyse the conditions.
Of course this is merely a hypothetical situation
and if one were to be in a real one, other
thoughts might come into play including the time
left to make a decision.
Some of you may or may not agree with my
reasoning but here they are anyway:

WHO? – The question here is who did he/she
cheat on me with? To some this might not be very
important but it matters a lot to me as it can
help me determine the next steps. Personally,
it’s harder to work things out if the ‘culprit’ was
a relative, friend, sex worker or someone of my
opposite gender (what’s the point if I can’t give
you what you need?). It might be easier to get
over a secretary affair; all we need to do is to
avoid ever having that gender of secretary
again; or over a church member, we are
changing church the next Sunday but the
aforementioned earlier are harder to get rid
of, especially from my memory.

WHERE? – Where did you meet your ‘partner in
crime’? Where did you do your evil act? Where
were you caught? These questions are concerned
about the places where the cheating event took
place. I am quite a conservative person and so it
is completely defying to cheat on my
matrimonial bed. I would not say that it is
unforgivable but it will be very difficult for me
to forgive. Also where you both met might
determine how to avoid future mistakes if I
eventually decided to remain in the marriage;
for instance if you met in PH, we might move to
a secret part of Abuja (hopefully we don’t get
stalked).

WHY? – Why did you do it? I don’t think there is
a good reason for cheating whatsoever but we
are all humans and capable of mistakes so I
guess my real question here is: Why did you not
say NO?

HOW? – This question has to do with the
evaluation of everything. How many times did
you do it? Again, this monitors the frequency of
events; a one night stand might be less
unacceptable. How many children do I have for
you, if any? We all know that it is much more
difficult to leave when you have children and
not just because of financial reasons but for
their emotional development.
I have not attached any weighting to each
question or the answers (and I hope that I
never need to) but obviously if most of the
answers do not seem favourable, the marriage
might not go very well. At the end of the day,
regardless of answers, everything depends on
whether I really want to remain in the marriage
and if the feeling is mutual.Before I conclude,
I must warn you that I am no marriage
counsellor or shrink and these are solely
personal thoughts that I have shared. You may
use them if you wish to but completely at your
own risk.

cc:royalroy,lalasticlala

Nice one dear!

To whom it may KONSINE!

Cutieberie1 you need to arrange your post well and give paragraphs to make it catchy and a easy read.

I went through it though and I must say that this really wouldn't apply much in reality.

Reason being that, one would be too emotionally broken to start asking questions like a lawyer or a crime scene investigator.

The major question would be who and why?

Not opting for a divorce would depend on certain things like forgiveness, love, absolute remorse and a sincere apology by the partner who cheated, commitment by the partner who was cheated on to make things work and move past it, etc.

KanwuliaJara:
To whom it may KONSINE!

If my wife cheat on me ,I go just open cry on top that toto, die put.

Sound like Gitmo interogation manual.

kinglekan:
Cutieberie1 you need to arrange your post well and give paragraphs to make it catchy and a easy read.

I went through it though and I must say that this really wouldn't apply much in reality.

Reason being that, one would be too emotionally broken to start asking questions like a lawyer or a crime scene investigator.

The major question would be who and why?

Not opting for a divorce would depend on certain things like forgiveness, love, absolute remorse and a sincere apology by the partner who cheated, commitment by the partner who was cheated on to make things work and move past it, etc.

ok...tnks