When your wife earns more than you
JULY 9, 2015. UGODRE OBI-CHUKWU
Ugodre Obi-Chukwu
Does your wife earn more than you? Do you feel
like you need to get another job? Does she get
home later than you do? Did she buy the cars at
home and pay for the children’s school fees? Do
you sometimes wish you could just have her
resign her work and just stay home taking care
of the kids? Not to worry, you are not alone in
these thoughts, most men in your shoes share
similar reservations. While it’s typical to think
this way, how should you then deal with it?
Take the story of Julius a school teacher, who
happens to fall in love with a banker. They soon
got married and are blessed with children. His
wife’s salary is more than his, making her the
breadwinner of the house. She funded their
four-bedroom apartment and cars. She even
funds vacation and the children’s school fees.
Julius doesn’t mind abdicating his natural
responsibility as a breadwinner. In fact he
makes it up by being at home on time, going
through home work with his kids, making sure
dinner is ready for his wife and patiently waiting
for her every night till she is back. He believes
if he can’t meet up financially then he should
compensate in other areas of family life.
Evelyn on the other hand is married to a lawyer
whom she met and dated back in university. She
now works with an oil company and earns his
six months’ pay in one month. But that’s how
far her edge over her husband goes. He
instructs her to pay all or part of her salaries
into his account every month and gives her an
allowance for the month. She says, it’s not a
situation she likes, but after several rebuffs by
her threatened her marriage, she gave in.
Emma, a medical doctor, has over the years
established himself as a seasoned consultant.
His wife works for a multinational and is equally
successful. On the average she earns well over
her husband but he doesn’t mind, he likes
ambitious women and pushes his wife to
achieve more. He believes his earnings, though
less than that of his wife is enough to cater for
his family. He takes care of everything in the
house, even if it means borrowing; he will not
allow his wife to spend a dime. To him, a man
must take charge.
Adelice an accountant for one of the top
accounting firms in Lagos is married to a self-
employed businessman. He believes by nature
he should be the breadwinner but he can’t turn
away from the steady income that comes the
way of his wife as his is far from regular. In
fact, when they initially got married he almost
asked her to resign believing her job may one
day make her insolent. He thanks his stars he
didn’t do that. Today, his wife’s steady income
augments his sporadic earnings as they both
contribute to the day-to-day running of their
home. He gets to take care of one off payments
like rent, vacation, school fees etc. while the
wife takes care of consumables like food, fuel,
utility bills etc.
Peter and his wife of two years have had issues
dealing with her job. She earns far more than he
does, a situation he hasn’t been able to deal
with. To make matters worse, she regularly
comes home late from work. It just doesn’t go
down well with his traditional beliefs that “a
woman must be under a man no matter what”.
His wife loves him so much and can no longer
stand the incessant quarrels at home. She
accepts his instruction to resign since he can’t
find a better paying job. Now they live on his
salary.
The above, depicts how most families deal with
this thorny issue. If it were you, who would you
be? Julius, Evelyn, Emma, Adelice or Peter?
For guys who are like Julius, living a
complimentary lifestyle can be satisfying.
However, rather than remain as a school
teacher he can look for other ways to continue
to earn incremental income. Nigeria of today
demands more from all of us regardless of how
satisfying our jobs are.
Emma is probably a typical Nigerian man.
However, women should be given much more
respect and part of that respect is allowing
them take charge too. She should at her own
free will be given the opportunity to partake in
funding the family finances. This is an important
balance in family budgetary planning.
For men like the husband of Adelice, what you
need to do is decide which of the tabs you want
to pick up. Entrepreneurs can have unsteady
income due to the nature of their business. As
such, take care of one-off payments such as
rent, school fees, capital projects, car purchase
etc. Your wife whose income is steady can then
take care of daily household expenses.
However, you augment where necessary.
A lot of Families are caught in between the
cross roads like Peter and his wife. However, is
asking her to resign from her job the right thing
to do? Decisions like this should be treated with
care. What is the opportunity cost of making her
resign? Have you thought carefully about the
potential impact on your finances viz a viz your
collective happiness. Are there better
alternatives to resigning? http://www.punchng.com/business/am-business/when-your-wife-earns-more-than-you/

Different strokes for different folks.
As for me my actions will depend on the attitude of my wife.
Most women if you ask them to take one yard they'll take one kilometer. They become very bossy at home and look down on the husband because he earns less. For those kind of women its either they resign from the job or from the marriage, no other option. But for the wife who still manages to remain humble at home despite higher pay, why not, she should very well be encouraged to aspire higher.

i'll comment wen i read it

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