Fkforyou:
Your BIL is drowning and he is dragging your husband with him, the unfortunate thing is that your husband can't think for himself at his age ( he should be atleast 40)......Nawa..o....Your BIL na boss..38, unmarried, jobless and still womanizing.

That kind thing.

SAMBARRY:
Don't worry I'll help you buy red pant and Green bra




next o jare. Let's hear what the next person has to say

hia!! red pant kwa plus green bra.abeg no let food choke me o.even if you see red pant na for where you go see green bra?

I want to still believe marriage is a union between two mature adults, decisions are made after brainstorming solutions by both parties..what was your level of involvement in the decision to permit your brother in law to reside with your family? Were you consulted? What was your view or was it shoved down your throat because he is your brother in law?

Your marriage is relatively young, you are both in a very delicate situation where bonding should be the norm and not interference from anyone, it's very saddening our culture of helping has become detrimental and a source of worry for your marriage.

Madam, you have to handle this issue carefully, patiently and maturely as it is a very sensitive one because it involves a blood line relationship.

Your husband is being selfish, his happiness has become his priority thus has become indifferent on how he satisfies his happiness irrespective of whose emotions is crushed, it's obvious he is being influenced negatively by his brother and that influence has to go, open up to him about how his actions are driving the marriage to the gutters, how his actions are hurting you and the family at large and killing the trust you have for him, if nothing changes, please contact his parents, open up to the them especially the one he respects most, tell them what has been going on, don't die in silence, don't mention the fact that his brother made advances at you because your husband might not believe you just yet, he would think you are making things up because you are upset with his brother..wait until things get better before you throw that out, hopefully they are factual and you have proofs.

Become persistent about your brother in law moving out of the house, his is presence is a deterrent to the success of your marriage, seek alternatives to his residence, if your husband is bouyant enough he can help him get a place of his own better still be can move in with another relative, but don't make your husband you are comfortable with his presence, the house belongs to you and your husband, any third party is a stranger.

Head to the nearest hospital and subject yourself to every STD test available, hopefully the results are negative, afterwards protect your self by using female condoms if you are not courageous enough to make him use condoms also attempt getting a job or any business that would keep you busy and away from stalking your husband because the result of stalking your husband could be detrimental to your health and emotions.

THIS BOLDED IS FOR EVERY BLOOD RELATIVE/ FRIEND OF MARRIED PEOPLE READING THIS, PLEASE AND PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM YOUR MARRIED RELATIVES HOUSE ESPECIALLY IF ITS A YOUNG MARRIAGE, EARLY MARRIAGES ARE DELICATE ENOUGH FOR HUSBAND AND WIFE WORTH MORE A THIRD PARTY THEIR MARRIAGE IS NECESSARY FOR THE SUSTAINANCE OF YOUR SOCIETY, IF YOUR PRESENCE IS NOT WHOLELY ACCEPTED PLEASE FIND ALTERNATIVES, STOP MAKING COUPLES SLAVES IN THEIR OWN MARRIAGES.

Chidoks:


hia!! red pant kwa plus green bra.abeg no let food choke me o.even if you see red pant na for where you go see green bra?

ok purple bra and orange pant nko?

Are their mum still alive?

Do they have elder sister or younger sisters who are legally married whom you are in good terms with?

They can help you because no woman would like something like that to visit her home.

Patience,ndidi,endurance,ogadinma and the likes...I hate those names.
I'm only here to read comments and learn.

chomytex:
Patience,ndidi,endurance,ogadinma and the likes...I hate those names.
I'm only here to read comments and learn.

you no hate those names pass me

As in eh..

Kimoni:


you no hate those names pass me

MixedMan:
Please I really need your advice my fellow nigerians.. My brother in law is breaking my family and my marriage..

I got married with my husband 2011, it was going all well and lovely.. I really loved my husband,he's the most caring man on earth and gentle,gives me listening ears and take care of the family.. By. Sept 2014, he's immidiate younger brother visted us, I was thinking it was a short visit only for me to discover he wants to stay with us pending on when he gets new job within the city.. I learnt he lost his former job at abuja due to some personal issues he never want to revealed to us.. And he's 38 not yet married.. As at jan this year, he made some funny moves with me.. That shows he's interested in me.. I gave no room for that,just recently only for me to discover he's helping my husband to arrange other women outside.. According to some of the people telling me.. This is not the first time nor even the sixth time.. He will arrange girls for my husband in hotels,clubs etc
Just last two weeks,I decided to stalk them, when he told me he wasn't coming back tonight.. Just for me to see them at a popular club at ikeja with some girls.. I have confronted my husband and told him but till now he's stll haven't changed, this past friday it repeated itself again.. Right now I'm confused,I don't know what to do.. I need your help my fellow nigerians.

Patience from Lagos.

Your husband isn’t being forced to do what he isn’t comfortable with. Yes it’s possible for the younger brother to ignite the devil in him but you can’t ignore the fact that he has always had that devil in him.

It appears you don’t really have much say in your marriage evidenced by the fact that your husband singly took the decision to accommodate his brother without your consent.

Going forward, your options are extremely limited and the best you can do is to ask him to address the issue of his brother staying permanently with you guys. Just let him know you need your own space and you are starting to feel like a stranger in your own home.

Also, I will advise you stop stalking your husband all over the place so you don’t give yourself unnecessary HBP over a man that will most certainly continue his life should in case the worst happens to you. Be wise, live for yourself and children not a man

SAMBARRY:
ok purple bra and orange pant nko?

come to think of it purple bra and green pant for make sense o.all na colour blocking.see now everyone is wondering if i'm okay because you've made me laugh this hard!!

serious case as ever





CHECK MY SIGNATURE TO READ MY HILARIOUS PERSONAL DIARY

Eeyah that must have hurt, it's really not nice.

i will comment later, abeg who get better sendblaster? i need am urgent

Your hubby is not serious.

Mancity26:
1. You need to pray hard.
2. When you gobto bed, talk 2 him with luv voice.
3. Take it to your pastor b4 going to his parents.
4. Do you ve children for him?
5. Finally, update yourself..I mean packaging to look sexy more than those babe. Learn Calaba style to support it.. Thank me letter. #funnynation

I disagree with the bolded. What if your pastor is a guy man who will wish to start offering help to you on the absence of your husband? I have seen it happen like twice, so I'm talking from experience of others.

.

improve on ur life.... upgrade ur standards....

MixedMan:
Please I really need your advice my fellow nigerians.. My brother in law is breaking my family and my marriage..

I got married with my husband 2011, it was going all well and lovely.. I really loved my husband,he's the most caring man on earth and gentle,gives me listening ears and take care of the family.. By. Sept 2014, he's immidiate younger brother visted us, I was thinking it was a short visit only for me to discover he wants to stay with us pending on when he gets new job within the city.. I learnt he lost his former job at abuja due to some personal issues he never want to revealed to us.. And he's 38 not yet married.. As at jan this year, he made some funny moves with me.. That shows he's interested in me.. I gave no room for that,just recently only for me to discover he's helping my husband to arrange other women outside.. According to some of the people telling me.. This is not the first time nor even the sixth time.. He will arrange girls for my husband in hotels,clubs etc
Just last two weeks,I decided to stalk them, when he told me he wasn't coming back tonight.. Just for me to see them at a popular club at ikeja with some girls.. I have confronted my husband and told him but till now he's stll haven't changed, this past friday it repeated itself again.. Right now I'm confused,I don't know what to do.. I need your help my fellow nigerians.

Patience from Lagos.

Is it not a man that wants to cheat that will cheat?


Ur brother in-law is not the one u shld be worried about,its ur husband.



If u told ur husband and he didn't change,bae always wear raincoat o!


So that he won't bring diseases to u.


And as we nigerians like to say "pray"

take him out of the house yourself!!!!!!!!!!!
if you catch another girl on your bed doing unknown things to your husband what will you do??
activate that plugin, it's free - use it and salvage the situation

Say the truth oo,not because you want him out of ur marriage and you accuse him advancing on you

wisdomiskey:
wu carezz

carri yuh problem comot
for here jor!
all diz married peeple
nd deir wahala

Don't you have a lesson to learn in all of these?
OP, your husband is your major issue

Your husband brother must be a fool.

ur hubby's bro isnt d prob,ur husband is..hvin accepted d gals his bro arranged for him shows,dat he cld hv been doin it bt dis tym his bro helpee him to fully actualise it...talk to him nd pray...nd also pls b careful,nd may b u shld try protectin urself...aids is real....goood luck!

Madame a sensible head to head and neck to neck discussion with your husband is required... And besides check yourself to see what you've stopped doing or what you've started doing that you haven't been before.....And for that brother in- LOVE, na hot water you go use send am out!!!!.....

Just been faithful to ur wife can save d country from so many tins like crime

Dear,
The problem is your husband not his brother. Your husband had been involved in the act long before your brother visited only that his younger brother's visit opened your eyes to notice his infidelity. You need to talk to your husband. As for the younger brother, it only runs in their blood. He's just doing what he and his brother have always been involved in. Sending him out is easy. Start by telling your husband about his advances and that settles it. No matter how dirty a man his he will never tolerate a relative or anyone messing with his wife. As for your husband, sit him down and let him know he's about tearing the message apart because if he does not stop, you will take drastic steps. I will tell you what you need to threaten him with later. I tell you he will sit up.

You have an husband who is caring yet can be in same town and claim will not be coming home? what was his excuse?
Your caring husband brought his brother home and couldnot consider it necessary to discuss with you even before accepting him to come over and you barely knew how long he was staying? I can tell he turned you into an house wife and for some reason he wield this "am the man" around the house. Its your home and however you need to achieve that with your home intact I suggest you begin soon. But really what edge does he have over you that he treats you with such manner I can feel from miles, is it inter tribal marriage?
I sincerely think the problem is not your inlaw but your husband, trust me your husband. I don't have a suggestion on how to deal with that as I do not have the full story but trust me you need to win you man back and take some woman control(not nag). A man can cheat outside but when his wife has some control he knows his boundries, trust me but it requires wisdom and if you really think he is into you and makes some moves it shows he and your husband shares a lot more than we can see and you really need to be careful healthwise. Take it cool and don't let the annoyance get to you. A spouse can get the road blurred and get dirty, if you can clean him/her up and live with it then its ok if not thread with care and take your decision. Watch your peace of mind, its the most important no matter how this ends.Wish you luck

MARKone:


Nairaland is a big community, you are here commenting on a section that deals mostly with family and married folks, and you are telling the OP commot here..all diz married peeple nd deir wahala(sic) . These kids sef . Why don't you locate the section that suits your age and present status(single) e.g TV/Movies, Gaming, and yes I heard the kiddies section is coming soon.

my dear
all these teens on nairaland.d oda day one of them posted his sec sch graduation pix.who cud hv guesed it was a teen behind d moniker.i still wonder what brings them to family section;maybe to chek if their parents are online.no wonder WAEC is gettin mass failure

My friend you have a lot of praying to do and patience to exhibit. May the wisdom of God guide and see you through. Amen.

Do u ve kids by hiim?

@ Roland17
....in response to your enlarged

Many families are poor...really poor, I tell you
Take a situation where some parents raise say, six kids....with their toil and sweat they channel all their resources on the first child, send them to school with the money that would been used to send others to learn a trade or something...you get the drift...with the tacit understanding that they would finish school, get jobs and help train others....(maybe they are naive, delusional, etc....bit yeah, that is the plan)

Said human being finishes school, falls in love (eye roll) and decides to marry
They do this....maybe thinking they can manage the old, and the new responsibilities (best intent here) or maybe just plain forget where they are from
The spouse. not understanding the home agreement, may be resentful of the siblings and come here and rant.....I am not blaming ooo

My point is that at times...we know just the single story (to paraphrase Adichie).....which could be dangerous
Some people are sooo selfish it is mind boggling
In cases like this, the whole family where they were raised should move into the new home and get their due!

Our society is a dividual one, our actions are determined and influenced by the people around us...family, relatives, etc
This is something we have to deal with....it is Africa....we do not have an individual society
I think any body who knowingly enters a union where one person has serious obligations to their family....only to expect them to renege on them because of "love" is supremely selfish
However...I reserve my main grouse for that ingrate who turns back on their family in order " to marry ...the whole works" ...without fulfilling their blood obligations.....SMH

So your emphasis does not work all the time
Thanks
(This is my humble opinion)
..but, I digress....back to reading