Naira Lander Joseph Edgar Responds to Etcetera's Saturday Article titled: Dear Nigerian Women. Read below:


ETCETERA, A CLOWN IN THE MAKING BY JOSEPH EDGAR
I have never read any of this persons articles because I see him as an unabashed seeker of relevance especially where his failure in his original calling is so apparent, so to keep in the public eye, he resorts to penning shallow and not carefully thought out nonsense which only tickles the fancy of the barely literate and ignorant like himself.
However, I was asked by a friend to go through this his last article in which he chronicles his reason why men cheat. The arrogance of it all makes me feel like puking and the lack of careful understanding of the issues that lead to 'men cheating' was more than obvious in the whole waste of time he has called an article.
This was a major rehash of beer parlor talk. I am sure in his joblessness, he has toured around in his one brown double breasted suit listening to the litany of crass jokes passed by near drunk sailors on the very sensitive relations between men and women and not possessing the deep intellectual faculties needed to decipher fact from sailors talk has scribbled this down as scientific reasons why men cheat.

I abhor this article even if I dare state that there is no general reason that can universally explain why men cheat or even women for that matter. Each case should be looked at from the prism of the unique situation and explain it from that point. Putting a total blanket on it reeks of utter stupidity and drunken melancholy. Having access to various popular social media platforms doesn't give anybody the right to be this stupid.

I could not bring myself to finish the article and here is me hoping that he redeemed himself at the end, but judging from what I had read from the top, I doubt. Seizing on the Toke episode to spew such inanities is the height of wickedness. Me self I yabbed Toke when it happened, but in a lighter mode, because I could feel her pain and the pressure having to go through that kind of mess in the public eye.

Women are very sensitive in nature. They must be loved and protected and when these things happen as they are bound to happen, a safety net should be woven around them to console, comfort and wean them out of the pain instead of casting a net of fallacy and fronting it with intellectually bereft morons like this Etcetera person.

I have cheated in the past and it was not because I am 'a man' and because It's my nature simply by my sex but because I was childish and plain stupid. I saw the pain in the eyes of the victim, I saw a strong woman withdraw into her shell with shame written all over her. I saw a woman who had given me her life and birthed children for me, go from a proud and confident woman to zombie, loosing her essence and wishing death. Many nights I cried myself to sleep on the couch, many times I hated myself for causing such wickedness to another beautiful human being and have prayed to be given an opportunity to make amends. This I feel may never happen as the pain has been etched deeply and I am still in the cold almost five years after.

So Mr, etcetera or is it coma you call yourself, you sado-masochist diatribe has not sat down with me and millions of real men and I dare say you have not represented us in this position but yourself and yourself alone.

I have spoken.





ETCETERA EARLIER WROTE: DEAR NIGERIAN WOMEN

When you heard the news that Toke Makinwa’s husband impregnated his girlfriend, you all took to social media to rain insults on Nigerian men. Why men cheat on women they love became a topic for all female radio presenters in the country. Aren’t you all tired of asking the same question over and over as if it is some perplexing unfathomable mystery? Your question is rhetorical, but since it keeps coming up again and again, let me provide some explanations to help you understand the reasons. I will simply tell it like it is, with no bull, tact, or political correctness. It’s just that oftentimes; women do not accept the explanations. But in fact, one can understand it through common sense. Sometimes a man would cheat on his wife or girlfriend because he doesn’t love her anymore; he is bored with her, or even possibly unhappy with their relationship.

In such scenarios, even women can become unfaithful as well. Women must understand that men are fundamentally different from them and wired differently too. We all know this but feminists try to suppress or deny this universal fact. A man craves variety and seeks novelty, while women prefer familiarity. Men will naturally desire variety when it comes to romantic/sexual partners more than women will. Men easily get bored by the same thing every day or a routine and we are sometimes afraid to voice this. Think about this. You ate your favourite eba and egusi soup, and on the second day that you ate it, the pleasure would be noticeably less than the first day. And after a week of eating it, you’d get tired of it and start to strongly desire to eat something else. Your desire for that eba will have diminished at that point.

I know what you are thinking now, “You can’t compare food with people” right? That’s the typical female reaction to this analogy. However, I’m sorry to say that this analogy does apply because it’s one of the best and simplest ways that it can be explained. I am not trying to objectify people. But by accepting such an analogy, it will start making sense to you that men are more visually stimulated than women are. And when a man relies on visual stimulation for arousal, the stimulation wears off at some point, which then requires new stimulation from new women. Got the drift? In other words, visual stimulation is a sensual thing that is fleeting in nature and requires constant variety in order to maintain the stimulation. Thus, men who seek visual stimulation will require variety from more than one partner or lover. Women often argue that “true love” never gets old. But the notion of “true love” is indefinable, very personable, and highly subjective. And even for the sake of this argument, if we agree that “true love” never gets old and never wears out, that still doesn’t change what we’re talking about here. You see, even if a man has true everlasting unending love for his woman, he can STILL desire another woman he fancies. That’s what our women have to understand, rather than cling to naïve clichés of society. A woman’s heart tends to be able to love only one man at a time, a man’s heart is different and can truly love MORE THAN ONE woman at a time. This might be hard for you to accept, and unfathomable to your values and beliefs about “love.” But it is the truth. A man’s heart is molded differently with multiple chambers that enable him to love and desire multiple women. It’s like a tree with different branches, rather than just one. Men usually won’t admit it, because our society doesn’t accept this, but condemns it.




Ladies, to understand this, think about all the different colours you love. You love pink and sky blue, or red, blue, black and purple. Now, can you like more than one colour at a time? Of course you can! You like the different colours in different ways, on different things, and for the different ambiance and mood that each colour accentuates, right? Likewise, you can like more than one type of cuisine right? Can you like Chinese and Italian foods at the same time? Of course you can. Even if society said you could only like one type of cuisine, it wouldn’t make a difference, would it? After all, society may attempt to create mutually exclusivities, but reality doesn’t. These are painfully obvious examples, and I am not arguing that people are like colours or food, but such simple analogies do describe what’s going on inside those who love more than one person or like having many lovers. Just because a man tells more than one woman that he “loves her,” desires her, or has feelings for her, does NOT make him a “playboy” or “liar.” He is not necessarily “playing” in terms of acting, nor does it mean he is using people in some sort of pretend “game” where he doesn’t care about their feelings. These are just false judgements by the society especially a feminist or female dominated society like Nigeria is fast becoming.

To some women, it doesn’t make sense and doesn’t fit their definition of love and loyalty. But it’s the truth. That’s reality and you’ve got to accept it if you want to try to understand it. Not all men unequivocally attach loyalty to true love. Society might do so, but not all human beings do. What women have to understand is that being in a loving relationship does NOT automatically erase one’s desire for other people. Of course, men who have multiple partners often do have to lie to the women they romance, by telling them that they are the only one when confronted with the issue. So that is one area in which men commonly lie. However, it doesn’t make them dishonest people in general. It’s just that since most women cannot accept that their partner can pursue someone else beside them, demanding total monogamy in love; men with multiple desires for multiple women are FORCED to lie in order to prevent chaos and failure in courtship. There is no easy way around it. And that is the case even if they are generally honest men. (After all, who hasn’t lied? Everyone has at one time or another, so stop pretending to be an angel!)

Loving or desiring multiple women has nothing to do with right or wrong, or being good or bad. It is simply a lifestyle and often these men are simply expressing who they are. Thus, infidelity does not make a man “bad” in a moral sense. Often, these men who romance multiple women are tender, caring, good-hearted, loving, nurturing people. Some are even deeply spiritual or religious. He doesn’t love you? My dear, the line between love and lust is blurry and subject to personal opinion. There is no universal objective measuring stick for differentiating between “love” (which has so many different meanings anyway) and “lust.”

In reality, a man can find the perfect woman, who outshines the rest in his life, and can even have a perfect relationship with her, but still look at another woman he finds attractive and desires to court her, romance her, and experience the wonders and pleasures of her femininity as well. Some men get a “high” or adrenaline rush from courting, romancing, or seducing new women, in a way that nothing else can, and thus are addicted to it.

My ladies, there are no perfect solutions or answers to everything. Just accept that some things in life are just meant to be endured, not fixed or solved like an equation.

To be continued next week.
http://josephedgarng..com/2015/07/etcetera-clown-in-making.html

Ishilove lalasticlala Seun TheRealMrStan

Nature and nurture gives us different views of life, I don't see why anyone should be criticised based on his/her views no matter how shallow it is.

Me read Etceras article?...he's always biased so I DON'T.

INTROVERT:
Nature and nurture gives us different views of life, I don't see why anyone should be criticised based on his/her views no matter how shallow it is.

This boy help ur soul na

My foot prints is here

Summary please!

While I don't completely agree with Etcetera. I think the reply is just insults insults and no sense. The man just replied like an angry woman - all emotions and little logic!

He would have stated why he disagreed with etcetera, giving his own reasons and drawing conclusions.

Maybe he's still suffering from the pain of cheating on his partner. That pain shouldn't be transferred to someone else!

Op,we all are entitled to our own views.. If he think so,then it because of his experience and observations,but i noticed that guy articles are biased and usually one sided.

I'm particularly ashamed and saddened whenever most people make reference to the fact Etcetera couldn't make it in music. That shouldn't a yardstick in judging his articles. For me, he almost always makes a whole lot of sense with his articles.

Failure is also a part of time. Anyone who hasn't failed hasn't tried anything in their life. I could remember my initial attempt at the Guitar. I just couldn't make it. I later swerved to the Piano where I'm enjoying myself and improving daily. That's life.

Hmmmm well na 4 their pocket... E no concern me

ahn ahn!all dis NL philosophers sef with their bogus chronincles.always e-fighting.

Lalasticlala, Ishilove; can we move this thread to the front page pls. It's worth it

Nm

MizMyColi:




Whoever this Joseph is...SHUT-IT!
Shut it I say!

Are you God? Are you his creator?
Since when do you determine what his original calling is, and who a failure is?
Your myopic lines of thought will not let you see that Life, as a matter of fact is a journey.
That one ventures into a particular path and doesn't make it doesn't qualify them as failures.

What if he has always shied away from writing?
How well enough do you know him to ascertain that writing might have always been a passion.
What if music was meant to be a passing phase in his life?

Tell us about your life, tell us about how much of a success you've been in ALL your endeavours?
Pray tell!

As an opinion-ed blogger, you must learn to make your point without putting others down, words are powerful and can make or Mar....
We who are blessed with the gift of words must be careful how we use them.
We must seek to build, not destroy.
Of course it's not easy, but hey, that's why we have each other, to call us back should we begin to derail.
God bless your hustle bro, and make you bigger. Amen.

... Hmm...

o.p that crap u wrote is too long. I Dont have time to read it