Beauty, they say, is in the eyes of the beholder. This aptly captures it, though many will disagree.
Over the years, I’ve come across several persons who thought they possessed the monopoly of assessing what constituted beauty; the fact is that they can’t be more wrong. You hear views like: “why is so and so on set in this movie? She’s too ugly for this role!” And such will wince ad pass an unfavourable comment anytime a scene comprising that actress comes on screen. What they conveniently forget is that there were auditions, during which those who they would have considered more beautiful were found wanting and dismissed.

Nairaland isn’t left out in this craze. Occasionally, photos have sprang up, photos of *our celebrities*, sometimes merely analytic and other times, comparative. Some persons through their comments will be so viciously aligned that they would spare no vocabulary at their disposal to lash out at the opposite camp. Good examples are threads comparing Genevieve Nnaji and Omotola Ekeinde.

This is wrong and these persons should know this. There is no single parameter for determining beauty. I had a female friend visiting me at school some years back. Well, my friends had very high expectations of her, probably from the software-cleaned up photos of her they had previously seen. One of these couldn’t hide his disappointment when he finally came in contact with her. He told me point-blank that she looked much older than she appeared in those photos. I laughed it off, stating that aside the fact that photos were no clear indication of a person’s actual looks – especially with regards to skin textures – she had been affected by the rain, while waiting for us, as she was suffering from the medical condition, skin rheumatism.

They would go on to become best of friends and he would suggest swaps on several occasions, though jokingly.

Coincidentally, I can’t claim innocence on this; for several times have I been disappointed when I encountered the girlfriends of some of my friends. They would be a far cry from the accolades their beaus had bestowed on them prior to our meeting. A friend of mine was dying for this lady, doing all he could to please her, even when it meant borrowing to impress her (I was approached on a couple of occasions); but it never ceased to baffle those within our cycle of friends what it was he found attractive in her. He was what I would regard as handsome: a very good height, perfect stature and a friendly countenance, all of which this lady wasn’t – aside probably the height. However, I knew better than to express this sentiment to the persons actually concerned. My reason? Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Have you asked yourself why most wedding photos actually depict less than beautifully faced couples and very beautiful bridal trains? Like I saw somewhere – THE UGLY LADIES ARE GETTING MARRIED WHILE THE BEAUTIFUL ONES ARE DECORATING THEIR PHOTOS.’

Now, I consider beauty different from attraction. When I regard a lady as beautiful, it goes beyond the mere first impression I had of her. This is one fact many ladies are oblivious of today. This is definitely not a sermon, but even the Bible advises that women shouldn’t be overtly concerned about the outward things, while totally disregarding those inner things. For me, beauty is a component of the whole, whereas attraction is a product of only the outward appearance. Many ladies do too much to be attractive and so much less to be beautiful! They bleach their beautiful black and brown skins into pale, unhealthful, multi-coloured pigments, just to catch a man’s second glance. They discard beautifully sewn, modest and presentable gowns, skirts and shirts for those scanty, skimpy and salaciously styled fabrics; all in their bid to derail another woman’s husband. And these are the same persons who would cry loudest when such men, on getting to see that they are empty within, finally decide to discard the shell. This is not good enough!

You are beautifully and wonderfully made the way you are, and you must realise this. Many ladies, in their bid to appear more beautiful, have so altered their skins, that they discovered too late that their skins have lost natural moisture and oil. These persons end up spending much more to restore their skins to their original states – sometimes to no avail. Of course, guys are not left out.

You are meant for someone the way you are. While some like them slim and model-like, others like them chubby and even fat; while some like them tall and giantish, others prefer them short and appreciate that towering effect. While some like those thin lips, others prefer the lips full – you are specially created for someone, JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

Are you attractive? That’s good. Do you turn heads when you move around the block? That’s wonderful. Do you get numerous likes whenever you upload your photos on social networks? Do you get calls from all and sundry wanting to get acquainted to you, on account of your attractiveness? That’s fantastic! But if your outward appearance is your only selling point, if those clothing pieces are all you’ve got to offer, then you have a long way to go, to becoming actually beautiful.

Pick up the pieces today, make that overhaul and get going from being attractive (which is temporal) to becoming actually beautiful (which is permanent).

THANKZ.

Freiburger, Lalasticlala, Seun, K239

Personally, I think the mental wiring of a Female may not agree with this. We want to look attractive and this could be all-consuming especially when our looks are not being commended.

It will require much more to change this mindset.

emmaphina:
Personally, I think the mental wiring of a Female may not agree with this. We want to look attractive and this could be all-consuming especially when our looks are not being commended.

It will require much more to change this mindset.

WHICH is why we must start from somewhere. A lady must get beyond the insatiable crave for commendation (which most times are mere smokescreens).