Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,161,449 members, 7,846,880 topics. Date: Saturday, 01 June 2024 at 05:33 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity (1793 Views)
Infidelity: Wives, Mistresses’ Fights Get Messier, Spill To Social Media (pics) / Court Dissolves Marriage As DNA Reveals Child’s Paternity / A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity (2) (3) (4)
A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by eherbal(m): 7:39am On Sep 06, 2015 |
Dear Gloria, I feel odd writing you this letter but I have been reading your column for a few years and I think you are mature and responsible. Besides I enjoy the topics you write on. I have to implore you not to use my personal details. I don’t mind if you share with your readers because I’m sure there are many people who are in the same situation. I am in my fifties and I have been married for over twenty five years. I am a successful well-educated professional. I am married to an equally successful woman that I love very much. She is a few years younger than me but it’s not a problem, we are well suited. We had been trying to have children for many years and had not been successful until five years ago when we were blessed with a beautiful daughter. We were so happy and felt blessed. I had a medical condition diagnosed two years ago which was challenging but we managed to get it under control. During the process of treatment it was discovered that I had a problem and it meant I won’t be able to father children. I was devastated but worse than that my daughter’s paternity was called into question. I did not say anything to my wife. I just prayed on it and asked God to help me contain my feelings for the sake of my daughter. I love my daughter and I decided I would be the only father she will know. Obviously my wife will not want the truth to come out for her child’s sake. We have lived happily over the years but my wife recently became pregnant again and delivered a son. At first I was shocked then I thought there is nothing impossible with God and maybe I was healed. I went back to the doctor who said I still had the problem, saying that there was no way I could be the father. I was devastated. I love the baby and I feel like his father. Again I am the only father the boy knows. I have not said anything to my wife but I look at her differently. I don’t trust her. I am mature and if she had discussed it with me and we both agreed for her to do it, so that we could have children, then I would understand. However knowing she has an idea I cannot father children and pretending the children are mine is very hard to take. She is enjoying a good life with me and I know she won’t want to give it up. I am not a young man and my marriage has been good. I am wondering if I should just let it go and enjoy my children. I feel very differently about things this second time and it has been affecting my feelings for her. Though I love the child because I love children, but I do not feel peaceful and she has even made some comments about my behaviour since the birth of the child. I would like your advice on what to do. I feel I should confront her about the deceit, but still let her know that I accept the children. I am worried if I send her away she could threaten to take the children along, since they are not my biological children. I was thinking it might be better for me to try to have another relationship that is honest. It is so hard because she is a nice wife, I don’t have any complaints other than the children. I am thinking she might have done it to protect my reputation since she knows how much I want children. Please I need your support because I am feeling desperate. I am happy to come and see you for counselling but please don’t expose me to the world. Name and some details changed for confidentiality Source:http://www.punchng.com/columnists/mental-health-matters/a-husbands-painful-dilemma-on-paternity-infidelity/ |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by tpiah01: 7:45am On Sep 06, 2015 |
nairalanders and paternity issues. . . . . . . .. . maybe you folks should stop filling your minds with pornographic stuff, it affects you a lot. |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by Drkul(f): 7:45am On Sep 06, 2015 |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by Nobody: 7:46am On Sep 06, 2015 |
eiyaaaaah... |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by NeduLuiZ(m): 7:48am On Sep 06, 2015 |
What happened to communication She's a hoe Farm tool I mean |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by eherbal(m): 8:04am On Sep 06, 2015 |
tpiah01:your statement is incoherent and invalid. In your haste to be ftc, you slipped and hit The head hard on stupiidity. 5 Likes |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by tpiah01: 8:13am On Sep 06, 2015 |
eherbal: what is ftc? seems i struck a nerve btw. are you a p.orn addict? |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by eherbal(m): 8:15am On Sep 06, 2015 |
tpiah01:typical 2 Likes |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by tpiah01: 8:16am On Sep 06, 2015 |
. ease up on the p.orn, its affecting you. |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by kennyman2000(m): 8:17am On Sep 06, 2015 |
Hmmmm... |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by funlord(m): 8:24am On Sep 06, 2015 |
tpiah01: Smally! The eherbal moniker was right about your 1st post! Your comment was absolutely _stupid and bereft of any logic! This snide pattern you are trying to now use to cover your folly is a waste of time! Next time THINK BEFORE YOU TYPE! Simple! 2 Likes |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by eherbal(m): 8:26am On Sep 06, 2015 |
tpiah01:help is On The way boi 1 Like |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by tpiah01: 8:26am On Sep 06, 2015 |
funlord: |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by tpiah01: 8:27am On Sep 06, 2015 |
all the porn addicts are out to defend their lifestyles. stop opening s.tupid threads abeg, nobody send una. be man enough to deal with the consequences of your choices and stop disturbing us with your whining. if you are loose then accept yourself as you are! |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by eherbal(m): 8:29am On Sep 06, 2015 |
funlord:tell the retardo. Stupidiius intete 1 Like |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by tpiah01: 8:29am On Sep 06, 2015 |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by tpiah01: 8:29am On Sep 06, 2015 |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by eherbal(m): 8:33am On Sep 06, 2015 |
tpiah01:kids! |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by funlord(m): 8:34am On Sep 06, 2015 |
tpiah01: Engaging an utterly _stupid primate such as yourself would be both a waste in time and data! By the way can you kindly stop with your stinking mentions? Its embarrassing to my moniker! 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by tpiah01: 8:35am On Sep 06, 2015 |
funlord: |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by gnchetts: 9:27am On Sep 06, 2015 |
I suggest he visits another hospital to be sure. Then give her the 2 results when he comes back and watch her response. If his claim is true by her action, let her know how disappointed he is. She needs to know that he is aware of what she is doing, so that he can put a stop to it because it might still happen again if he doesn't do something. But he still need to forgive her when she realized her mistake and ask him to, she might have done it for his sake though in a wrong way and the kids must not know about it. Everyone has one marital borden or the other. Good luck and enjoy ur marriage. |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by eherbal(m): 12:08pm On Sep 06, 2015 |
funlord:if you wanna get rid of the nuisance,just hit The 'report' button and the pest gets banned in jiffy.thank me later |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by Noloss(f): 12:21pm On Sep 06, 2015 |
.. |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by nairalife2013(m): 1:27pm On Sep 06, 2015 |
tpiah01:pls re examine your comments or I may be forced to think u hav certain brain weakness. |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by staymore: 2:19pm On Sep 06, 2015 |
You've got a complicated issue here. Consider losing the children and your wife if you do otherwise. Go test yourself in another hospital, maybe something has happened miraculously. If nothing hasn't changed after the test, I advice you forget any kind of confrontation and pretend you are not aware or suspecting anything from your wife. Also consider your age. Accept the children and show them love and be ready to live with this secret for the rest of your life. |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by staymore: 2:20pm On Sep 06, 2015 |
gnchetts: Mature mind |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by tpiah01: 2:22pm On Sep 06, 2015 |
nairalife2013: |
Re: A Husband’s Painful Dilemma On Paternity, Infidelity by Tallesty1(m): 4:28pm On Sep 06, 2015 |
NeduLuiZ:A farming tool? 1 Like |
(1) (Reply)
Link Your Bvn To Your Bank Accounts Without Visiting Any Bank / What Is The Difference Between Available Balance And Ledger Balance / My Husband Chose His Daughter Over Me So I Want To Change The Name Of Our Son
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 51 |