agarawu23:
dump his ass and move on. He is addicted so therefore stopping him is ganna be a big job for you. I hate smokers

Hate is a strong word..

Pls it d best if u leave im

jumanche:


Actually, my boyfriend is a very good man. He is very down to earth and respectful. He will never ever punch me. He helps around the house, he cooks for himself and even helps do my hair. He is perfect. Its just sad that he has this addiction. Please do not insult him.

This is the reason why I am confused about the smoking because that's his only flaw. Its a really bad flaw but he's a very good man and i wish I could help him.

this is really painful.
I see you are a respectful babe and you must really love this guy.
we all have something that makes us IMPERFECT but it is sad this is his own ACHILLES HEEL.

You have to understand that your health is very important,
it is true that SOMETHING MUST KILL A MAN but you can avoid some of these killers especially if you are not a smoker and your BF smokes so much and in a way and manner that affects you.

read about SECOND HAND SMOKING
I was watching a documentary sometime ago about how Asian men smoke so much and how it affects their women, there was this woman who said she started falling sick, she went to the hospital and was shocked when the doctor told her that she smokes too much and she needs to quit it. this is a woman that has never lighted one in her life.
The same thing might happen to you if you don't get far from such a guy.

Sometimes, for the GREATER GOOD, sacrifices must be made. So, you tell me, what is the greater good here? your health or him ?

Smoker are liable to die young

don't dumb him smoke with him .useless question

jumanche:


its even more than 3 packs a day. I said at least 3 packs. We only spend few hours together a day and during that time, which is usually like 5/6 hours, he finishes 2 packs. It may be up to 5 packs a day..

i know i have to leave but i guess i was looking for a way to let him stop.

i smoke like 4 sticks on the average daily but still feel bad. I think u should quit...but wetin him dey give u wey u want stay? abi u no fine?

[quote author=PDPwayoo post=37754090]

stop lying. NOBODY CAN SMOKE 3 PACKETS OF CIGARETTE A DAY. EVEN CHINESE MAN WILL NOT GET TO THAT LEVEL. ONE PACKET OF CIGAR IS 20 STICKS, 3 PACKETS = 60 STICKS.

Normally smokers smoke less if they r with a girl. Smoking 3 packets in your present means he could take 10 packet when he is alone. SISTER STOP LYING.

see u I get a friend who dey finish more than three packs of bensene per. day even d guy dey smoke wen he is fasting, and if u tell him that he didn't av acceptable fasting by smoking. he will tell u that nah lie, there is no reward 4 smoking in d holy book Weda good or bad reward

If he loves u, he'll quit...if u love him and urself, you'll leave him...

jumanche:


its even more than 3 packs a day. I said at least 3 packs. We only spend few hours together a day and during that time, which is usually like 5/6 hours, he finishes 2 packs. It may be up to 5 packs a day..

i know i have to leave but i guess i was looking for a way to let him stop.

He has been smoking b4 u guys met so let him go and find someone

jumanche:


you are right. the risk of disease is very high. I am running out of patience, i just had a little hope that he would stop.

it can only take God for him to stop, i used to be a chain smoker also when i was in the Uni, when i graduated and got a more stressful job which took better part of me, i gradually quited.
You can help him stop by telling him the health hazards everyday, also have u tried praying for him?
If you see no signs of him quitting then quit the relationship

Hmmmm i smell something here, BTW 3packs a day? It's hard 2 blive

You met him Online??


Quick Delivery and Pay on Delivery Available!!

You better leave him b4 itz to late.. Tell him u are tired of d smoking tinz. That if he did nt stop dat u will break up..

jumanche:
.

I am not suppose to comment on matters of boyfriend - girlfriend, its against my christian faith. If you had said my fiance ie the man you want to marry, then its understandable.

Everything about your relationship is wrong, it does not give God glory. Again they say, if you cannot beat them, then you join them - if you cannot leave him, then join him to smoke.

jumanche:
I met my boyfriend online. We were in a long distance relationship for a 2 months before I moved back to his town.
Before we met, he told me he smoked cigarettes but socially. I was ok with that. I thought that If he needed a cigar to calm his nerves , its alright. I do not smoke.

After we met, It turns out that he's a chain smoker. He takes at least 3 packs of cigarettes a day. After a month of dating him, I just couldn't take it anymore. After we visit each other, I reek of cigarettes. My clothes, my purses, my hair, the bed-sheet. Everything stinks. Sometimes I have to re-do my laundry. He smokes inside the house and car so the smoke is directly on me .

I talked to him about this. I told him that the smoke stinks everywhere up so bad and that I have to wash my clothes after I visit him. He got really mad and we didnt talk for days.

I love my boyfriend but I cannot take the smoking. Its also starting to affect him medically , his teeth is rotten and he coughs chronically. I tell him to stop at least for his health and he starts to give examples of non-smokers who died early or smokers who live long.

I am at my wits end because everything and everywhere stink and cigarette butts are everywhere.

How do I tell him to stop?? Or do you think its time to end the relationship.

Bae, you no say him dey smoke before you gree date am abi? Why complain now? Join him in the smoking and let us rest.

PDPwayoo:


stop lying. NOBODY CAN SMOKE 3 PACKETS OF CIGARETTE A DAY. EVEN CHINESE MAN WILL NOT GET TO THAT LEVEL. ONE PACKET OF CIGAR IS 20 STICKS, 3 PACKETS = 60 STICKS.

Normally smokers smoke less if they r with a girl. Smoking 3 packets in your present means he could take 10 packet when he is alone. SISTER STOP LYING.

my Brother, please talk about things you know not things u assume, when i was a chain smoker in the uni, i took more than 3 packs a day, it gets up to 5 packs when am drinking sef, i go wake up for midnight begin smoke cigar, sneak comot for lecture theather go outside gate(mini campus for OSU) go light cigar, i chop finish for mama put na cigar go follow, i no dey buy one one, i move around with packs. So please no talk am again

raayah:
I would end it if I were in your shoes. Him telling you that he smoked socially when he smokes 3 packs a day would also be a sticking point for me, and I would read into that a certain level of dishonesty.

Your boyfriend could probably get diagnosed with a substance use disorder. The stuff he's doing is fairly typical of an addict. You unfortunately most likely do not have the leverage to be able to force him to change, especially considering he's addicted to a legal substance and your relationship is newer than his addiction.

raayah whr hav u been?

jumanche:
I met my boyfriend online. We were in a long distance relationship for a 2 months before I moved back to his town.
Before we met, he told me he smoked cigarettes but socially. I was ok with that. I thought that If he needed a cigar to calm his nerves , its alright. I do not smoke.

After we met, It turns out that he's a chain smoker. He takes at least 3 packs of cigarettes a day. After a month of dating him, I just couldn't take it anymore. After we visit each other, I reek of cigarettes. My clothes, my purses, my hair, the bed-sheet. Everything stinks. Sometimes I have to re-do my laundry. He smokes inside the house and car so the smoke is directly on me .

I talked to him about this. I told him that the smoke stinks everywhere up so bad and that I have to wash my clothes after I visit him. He got really mad and we didnt talk for days.

I love my boyfriend but I cannot take the smoking. Its also starting to affect him medically , his teeth is rotten and he coughs chronically. I tell him to stop at least for his health and he starts to give examples of non-smokers who died early or smokers who live long.

I am at my wits end because everything and everywhere stink and cigarette butts are everywhere.

How do I tell him to stop?? Or do you think its time to end the relationship.

Hold his hands and look into his eyes and make sure he is looking into yours as well and repeat after me.

OP: Sweetheart do you love me?
BF: You know I do
OP: I love you too very much but I need to talk to you
BF: Is anything the matter?
OP: Yes something very serious and if nothing is done about it could damage this relationship.
I want to ask you a question. Is it possible to replace a living loving person with an inanimate object?
BF: Thats ridiculous. Whats really the matter
OP: You would soon be replacing me with your cigarettes if you do not quit them.
You are an awesome guy but this is my only concern about you and honestly its a really big concern which has forced me to take this position. I am not breaking up with you but I am taking some time out. And the duration of my time out is up to you.
If you quit smoking 2moro I will be back but if you decide to continue then remember what I look like now because it would be the last memory of me you would have.

BF: .....................but, ..................ok I have heard you.


OP play out this script. If it doesn't work then your boyfriend is a lost cause.

No.... dump me

Nonsense. Young lady, u know the right tin to do. Mayb u ar jus afraid of Wat u ar goin to lose.... Materially.

CaptPlanet:



I kindda like your attitude about the whole thing. First you have to understand that cigarettes contains nicotine ( the substance that makes it addictive) and it's very difficult to quit so you're in for a huge task

If you really want to help him, I suggest you take some drastic measures.

Let him know that you won't visit him if he'll smoke with you around and if he does, leave his house ASAP/ do things he don't like, if he calls you let him understand that you can't stand the habit and if he really loves you, he should respect you. Deny him candy if u must (men love candy and we'll do anything to get some) That should at least cut down his smoking with you around (it's difficult but you gotta stick with it)

When this starts to work, spend more time with him, he'll reduce the way he smokes and also dispose of every packs of cigarettes around the house. Allow him some space to smoke (he can't quit abruptly)

Talk to him about it all the time, better yet NAG about it, men despise nagging. Get info on the adverse effects of smoking and show it to him, u can get pics of affected lungs off the Internet and show him. It'll stick in his subconscious mind, that should help.

Make him open up to you (men hide alot) esp how his day went, get him to trust you, don't judge him when he tell you difficult stuff, act like it's no biggie, you chics have your way with men so you should know how to get him to release all that worked up stress/emotion from a hard day.

Gradually reduce his average sticks a day (make charts with him), if he burns like 15 sticks a day, you could make it 5 a day if you go about it the right way. You can give him a treat once or twice a month, you know what he likes, like nice meal, warm bath together, seduce the living daylight out of him....use your imagination.

Finally you can get him e- cigarettes , they're healthier and more environment friendly.


PS: get him to eat a lot of fruits, let him go for detox.

I hope this helps.

Why the long epistle? Even the complainant didn't write dis much

obontami:
brother u seems to know much about relationship, please permit me to send u pm so u can discuss privately

I'm not relationship pro but i'll try as much as I can

PurestBoy:


Why the long epistle? Even the complainant didn't write dis much

That's cos I've seen what smoking can do to people first hand and. I wouldn't like that to happen to anyone

There are 2 ways to look at dis....most guys including myself hide one bad habit from our gf's so dis guy dat does his in front of u is really honest even tho its a very very bad habit. I smoke too but not to dat extent. Do watever will make u happy coz dat ni.g.ga is real

jumanche:
I met my boyfriend online. We were in a long distance relationship for a 2 months before I moved back to his town.
Before we met, he told me he smoked cigarettes but socially. I was ok with that. I thought that If he needed a cigar to calm his nerves , its alright. I do not smoke.

After we met, It turns out that he's a chain smoker. He takes at least 3 packs of cigarettes a day. After a month of dating him, I just couldn't take it anymore. After we visit each other, I reek of cigarettes. My clothes, my purses, my hair, the bed-sheet. Everything stinks. Sometimes I have to re-do my laundry. He smokes inside the house and car so the smoke is directly on me .

I talked to him about this. I told him that the smoke stinks everywhere up so bad and that I have to wash my clothes after I visit him. He got really mad and we didnt talk for days.

I love my boyfriend but I cannot take the smoking. Its also starting to affect him medically , his teeth is rotten and he coughs chronically. I tell him to stop at least for his health and he starts to give examples of non-smokers who died early or smokers who live long.

I am at my wits end because everything and everywhere stink and cigarette butts are everywhere.

How do I tell him to stop?? Or do you think its time to end the relationship.

Some people understanding of love sha. How can do you claim to love someone whose way of life you abhor? Love involves loving people in their entirety, their strength and their weaknesses. The moment there is a core aspect of life of someone you detest, then it can't be love you have anymore but infatuation. If you choose to go on living with the guy, your eyes will come clear and you will live the rest of your life in frustration and regret. You better run now before it is late.

Op
U don dey already smoke self
U never hear about 2nd hand Smoker
Google am
Ur matter even worst pass

Leave that guy! Am here for you,I will be waiting .

PDPwayoo:

stop lying. NOBODY CAN SMOKE 3 PACKETS OF CIGARETTE A DAY. EVEN CHINESE MAN WILL NOT GET TO THAT LEVEL. ONE PACKET OF CIGAR IS 20 STICKS, 3 PACKETS = 60 STICKS.
Normally smokers smoke less if they r with a girl. Smoking 3 packets in your present means he could take 10 packet when he is alone. SISTER STOP LYING.

wagbayi... thumbs up bra, my advice for u is this just go to. the river bank off ur clothes and jump inside d river... mumu. My friend wey be better person dey u stupid cheat no go gree, u go come dey complain on nairaland.

If he do not smoke more than a chimney. Pls don't dump him

jumanche:
I met my boyfriend online. We were in a long distance relationship for a 2 months before I moved back to his town.
Before we met, he told me he smoked cigarettes but socially. I was ok with that. I thought that If he needed a cigar to calm his nerves , its alright. I do not smoke.

After we met, It turns out that he's a chain smoker. He takes at least 3 packs of cigarettes a day. After a month of dating him, I just couldn't take it anymore. After we visit each other, I reek of cigarettes. My clothes, my purses, my hair, the bed-sheet. Everything stinks. Sometimes I have to re-do my laundry. He smokes inside the house and car so the smoke is directly on me .

I talked to him about this. I told him that the smoke stinks everywhere up so bad and that I have to wash my clothes after I visit him. He got really mad and we didnt talk for days.

I love my boyfriend but I cannot take the smoking. Its also starting to affect him medically , his teeth is rotten and he coughs chronically. I tell him to stop at least for his health and he starts to give examples of non-smokers who died early or smokers who live long.

I am at my wits end because everything and everywhere stink and cigarette butts are everywhere.

How do I tell him to stop?? Or do you think its time to end the relationship.

No dont leave him...wait till you die of second-hand smoking or he kills you when he is high on crack!

No don't,join him in the league of smokers!

You are what health workers call 'second hand smoker'. Since you inhale the smoke which is dangerous to your health you are @ the risk of contracting cancer also.

Pls don't say you love him & stay @ the detriment of your health, value your life, since he has chosen not to value his own.

It will take God for him to stop smoking, so if you want to stay & help him to kill the habit just know that there's 80% probability of you contacting cancer.

God be with you.