EVILFOREST:
CORRECT
But I must say that what accounted for this, is our Nigeria's way of life.

Unknowingly, and Gradually we are becoming AGGRESIVE as a nation.
We have more AGITATORS than reserved people now.
This happens to be as a result of ECONOMIC Hardship and FRUSTRATIONS that have perverted this nation.

EXAMPLES :
1) It's becoming rare to find a happy and comfortable Nigerian youth.

2) TAKE a LOOK at our LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS, like the POLICE PATROL on high way.
While asking u to Park, they start heaping insults on you. e.g THUNDER FIRE U.

3) Our NEW GENERATION PASTORS are not left out.
Take a look at their preachings.
You will see GROSS AGGRESION. yet devil appears undisturbed.

4) Our POLITICIANS on NATIONAL TVs, u need to watch CHANNELS or AIT and see physical rage.
Most times they end up in turmoil.
Yet it appears as though, they are fighting for us e.g wike/Amaechi

5) Even when d way we TOAST and DUMP LADIES, it's as if we dated demons and treat them with disdain.
Not considering the fact dat, dat same lady may become OKONJO IWELA.

6) See how we TREAT MAIDS and SECURITY GUARDS.
these are people we shouldn't JOKE with because they can exterminate your life softly, if paid hugely.

7) Now about KIDS.
we beat our KIDS like the way FULANI MEN flog cattle.

Just visit our PUBLIC SERVICE OFFICES, before you greet some will end up ridiculing you.,most especially the ladies. BANKS are now taming diz characters because of incessant sack.

9) Despite being LEARNED and living comfortably , I still find myself talking rubbish. This is what I believe most of us have been taming.
Just imagine my USERNAME..!!!!

10) Finally, u can see why JUNGLE JUSTICE for petty thieves will never stop.
In fact as we talk now, we are yet to PEAK.

GOOD MORNING and Thank You.

belamour:
You Re So On POINT

But Some People Re Meant To Be Insulted, Bash, E Bully, E Slap And So On To Corrected..

But All In All We Re Different People With Different Character

Matured People And Immature People

Experienced And Inexperienced

Op Continue Showing Empathy/Sympathy And Let Us Do D Bashing/E SLapping

Everyone Can't Be The Same !!!

pet4ril:
You are very correct. If you are inexperienced about a particular topic especially the ones on this family forum, please back off because it's supposed to be for the mature and experienced ones not secondary school children or under 18

Babe2sure:
Nice one from OP......


On every issue, one should expect potpourri of reponses, we see things from different view-points. The responses to an extent are a function of our temperament. Someone with melancholy temperament will react to issues differently from someone with sanguine temperament e.t.c

Criticism is good sometimes, but it should be constructive and not destructive. It makes one retrace steps oftentimes, more than words spoken is soft tones.
However, one shouldn't say words that will further dampen the mood of the person who seeks opinion on an issue. We react to uncivil comments differently, some people take things to heart, they are very emotional.

All in all, one should just pick the treasure from what is said, disregard the trash, and move on.

Davedoz:


Yea. I agree with you a lot! From your post, I noticed you're a strong person psychologically! But not everyone is like you! what of those that are weak psychologically. Lemi make what I'm saying clearer to you. Sometimes when people make mistakes, and you see them admitting and being remorseful, I don't think that's the time to, start being a critic. That's the time to be shoulder the person can lean on. Every kind advice you give then will not be forgotten and will go a long way in helping. But with the criticism the person may feel judged and may not like to share more hideous things with you. When they brought the woman that was caught in adultery to Jesus, what did HE do? He showed the critics that all of them judging her and criticizing her, are not better than her. And Himself (Jesus) that is better didn't even criticize her. And she went on to be a changed woman. I can give more examples but, my patients are waiting for me, make them no fire me!

Davedoz:


Yea, my friend you're right. The only problem is that the ones that practice what I'm saying are always very few, and the "Bashers" are the intimidating majority! Now, let me give you another hidden reason why I created this topic - Its my family! You see my dad eh, he does this popular method a lot! Now... My siblings are following suit! When something goes wrong or something not so good happens, instead of thinking of the way forward, instead of thinking out a solution, they'll concentrate on blames and bashing! Its tiring! Most times the 'defaulter' in question, has already admitted to being wrong and he/she is sorry. Shey, the next thing na to find solution to whatever mistake?? And ensure it doesn't happen again.

Yes Many Re Called Few Will Be Chosen (Bolded Part Above)

Contemplating About Dese Won't Change Anyone Decision

For Instance I Read A Thread About A Lady Who Made Mention About Falling In Love With A Married Man

Only To Seek An Advice If She Could Go On With Such Filthy Relationship

Now Tell Me How To Attend 2 D B-i-t-c-h

I Re-emphasize Let Us Keep Doing D Bashing

Babe2sure:



We are still saying the same thing. Everything you said here, I have addressed in that post. It depends on the matter brought actually. It is not every matter one needs to be criticised on, that was why I used[b]some[/b].

People should emphatize with people who seek advice and not make jest of them. I remember a thread a particular guy opened concerning is health. Come and see people making jest of him, I was like WTF!!! He would regret opening that thread that day. I gave him an advice over the issue. But I was surprised about the way people go about responding to his thread. You don't kick others when they are down, nobody knows tomorrow.

And I said, even if you are to criticise, it shouldn't be harsh. Some people are not strong psychologically, they are vulnerable to verbal attacks easily.
And I said, people can be excused sometimes because of their temperament, it plays a major role in how people react to issues often times. That is why one should strive to develop thick skin.
It is an anomaly that should be addressed, really.

Davedoz:


SPOT ON!!!! Sister, we're both on the same page! If only 50% of NairaLanders can have this mentality!

belamour:

Yes Many Re Called Few Will Be Chosen (Bolded Part Above)

Contemplating About Dese Won't Change Anyone Decision

For Instance I Read A Thread About A Lady Who Made Mention About Falling In Love With A Married Man

Only To Seek An Advice If She Could Go On With Such Filthy Relationship

Now Tell Me How To Attend 2 D B-i-t-c-h

I Re-emphasize Let Us Keep Doing D Bashing

Davedoz:


Exactly!!!! That was the last thread I saw, out of the many I've been seeing, that inspired this thread!

Now, lemi tell you how to attend to the Young Lady (not the B-word you used). Before, I say another thing I want to state emphatically that, IT IS WRONG FOR HER TO CONTINUE THAT RELATIONSHIP, WHETHER, DATING OR MARRIAGE!!!! Its a big NO NO!!! I just conspicuously declared my stand on the matter!
So, how do you now help her? Ok, lemi start by asking you that, do you know that the lady was the victim? She met a guy, HER SPEC, all she needs in a man (do you know how important that is?), they BOTH fell inlove with each other, all of a sudden the dude comes with a heart breaking story of having a family and the inconsiderate guy still wants her to be part of a polygamous family! My dear, if we wanna do some bashing, do you know who deserves it? Yes of course, you're right, its the married man. If I wanna bash that young lady at all, my reason will be that, she brought it to NL. Fully aware of how we "can be" here! Anyways, its still hard to blame her for that, sef. Because you can expect anything from a downcast, depressed and perplexed young lady!

I'll end this long reply with this... Please, before you bash anyone, do two things:
1. Always selflessly, completely and sincerely put yourself in that person shoes
2. Always remember that no one is perfect, we all have our shortcomings. And at one point or the other we will make or own mistakes.

nikenry:

Wow! You are d best. I appreciate your intelligence and wisdom. I have come to understand that it doesn't take decade to radiate one's true identity. I could see a good counsellor and great shoulder to lean on in you! Your spouse is lucky.

Back to d topic, responses of most nairalanders reflect our level of maturity. I have seen d effect of negative words in my personal life, and I have made a vow DT I will never attack somebody with my words. There are many ways of passing across your message without raining abuses. I will recommend '7 Habits of highly effective people' to anyone who want to learn the act of empathic listening.

MMotimo:
You have to remember that the www is a jungle and there are all kinds of personalities behind each moniker, going through different things in their personal lives. You should not assume every Poster has your best interest at heart, that would be naive. It's also a good idea to check post history. The person bashing you may have just lost their job and feel like the matter you brought here is inconsequential compared to their own reality. In that situation, it would be better if they didn't comment but not everyone practices self restraint so they bash you instead.

Different people are on this site for different reasons. For some, Nland is an avenue to vent the frustration they feel about their own circumstances. If you are forced to seek advice on a forum like this, you have to make sure you have the wisdom to separate the wheat from the chaff because you will get both. Unfortunately, bringing your matter to the www does leave you vulnerable to bashing. If you are going to do that, you have to grow a thick skin or better still, find a way to help yourself offline.

You start a thread saying your husband only gives you N250,000 per month for housekeeping. What do you expect the woman who only gets N19,000 after begging and fighting to do? Or the woman who is battling her Baby Daddy to get money for diapers or school fees? The average Nigerian woman in these situations is either going to lash out at you for being greedy or go into full mischief mode, asking how you can tolerate that and call your husband names to boot.

Or you are a male who has a girl that is truly in love with you and has shown you care and no monetary demands but she won't become a sex slave meanwhile you are getting the green light from all kinds of other girls and are tempted to ditch the girl that loves you. You come to Nland asking for advice, forgetting that a lot of those who will advise you to ditch the first girl have never been loved like that and would give almost anything for the kind of girl they are advising you to betray.

Purely out of bad belle, they advise you to ditch the girl. When it's time to get married, you realize you have become a member of the association of "choosing the lesser evil men's movement" aka which of your numerous girlfriends can you manage since you exchanged your true love for multiple sex partners early on. Then you say all women are bad.

I tend to ramble when I have time on my hands but hopefully, you get where I am coming from. The harsh truth is same way you have all kinds of people in the marketplace, same reality here. Do not expect too much from people you don't really know.