I have often asked myself why we always want to be stars. There are different reasons with different people. They all however boil down to the same thing as they all have to do with self.

We want to have a good life
We want to have more money than we can spend and buy the best things life has to offer.
We want to me admired and worshipped by people all over the place.
We want to be famous and be recognized everywhere we show up.
We want more and better sex, and musical videos tell us stardom will give us that.
We want to come out of poverty and obscurity and into wealth.
We want to become rich and influential and help people.

(I know every man will like to deny the sex part. I hear you but it sits in the core of what we seek when we want to be known and adored especially in our youth. We envy the musical stars the half=clad beauties that flaunt their sexuality in videos. That’s for another day.)

The bottom line is that we want to achieve some measure of wealth and fame. Now is time to ask yourself if the things you expect of superstardom are really available. Most of the time, we don’t want to consider this. We say, ‘let me get there first and then we can discuss that’ or simply, ‘we will cross that bridge when we reach it’. Truth is there is also the other side that needs to be managed and that is managing your emotions and determination when you are not getting superstardom.

I recall when in University of Benin, I ventured into stand-up comedy. There were always a lot of events that needed MCs and good speakers were not in short supply. There was an edge needed to make one special and I had it. So I anchored a few programmes and became an instant star. I enjoyed it at first but it soon began to irritate me. I was losing my identity. In order to remain the new superstar me, I had to do what was expected of me by my ‘fans’. The status dictated where I should go or eat and who I should be with and what I ought to wear. Even the girls you would have expected would flock around you will not be the type you need. I recall that the one person I liked told me that I was a star and that there were too many girls. She didn’t want to be a statistic. I did all I could to persuade her that the star thing was outside of me but to no avail. It was annoying. I eased myself out of the game.

Years after, I used the same talents in church and it was an instant hit. Again i had challenges. I was losing seriousness as people barely took me seriously even in serious meetings. Before i even said a word into the microphone, people were already laughing. Wetin? So I made up my mind. I have only deployed part of that talent as a teaching method and used it to keep my classes alive and pass serious messages without offending the listeners.

So here are the big questions. If it is about superstardom, why is Whitney Houston dead and her daughter Bobby Kristina with her? Both dead from drugs! It is sad but somehow, in spite of having everything, everything was not quite enough. The list is long both in Nigeria and outside of people who could not manage their status. George Best (football), Amy Winehouse (music) died of alcohol poisoning, Majek Fashek (music) said to have lost it all to drugs and rescued by friends, Marilyn Monroe (Movies), Brenda Fasie (Music) died from drug-related brain damage, Oscar Pistorious (athletics) shot his girlfriend to death and claimed he thought it was an intruder, Etim Esin (football) his football career crashed after he was accused of rape, Michael Jackson (music)bankrupt, Evander Holyfield (Boxing) bankrupt, MC Hammer (Music) bankrupt, Mike Tyson (Boxing) bankrupt, ex-convict or rape and not allowed into some countries, Kurt Hening (Mr Perfect –wrestling)died of drug overdose at 44, Chris Benoit (Wrestling) said to have murdered his wife and child before taking his own life…. Like I said, the list is long and all of them tell us for certain that there is more to being a superstar than the glitz and glitter we see on television. Otherwise, why would superstars commit suicide or murder their spouses? Oh go ahead and shock yourself. Google it and see for yourself. Some of the names you could go for if you choose to Brett Butler, Anthony Ciccone and Madonna, Fantasia, Ed McMahon, Michael Jackson, Nicholas Cage, Willie Aames, Burt Reynolds, Mike Tyson, Sly Stone, Cory Haim….And do you know why I am not mentioning Nigerian names much? They are too many to count and their stories too pathetic …..and you know them yourself.

There are loads and loads of young people seeking to become famous for music and dance as well as football, basketball and other sports. This is why the traffic is crazy at Project Fame, Ultimate Search and Nigerian Idol for instance. After auditioning, they show us clips of people who totally messed up at the auditing. We find some who have not been fortunate enough to have someone tell them they can’t sing. Or perhaps they were told but did not listen. Could even be there is the voice of one motivational speaker ringing in their ears telling them they can fly without wings or learning to. In all, we have bleary-eyed youths in their thousands seeking the few spaces available to tomorrow’s superstars. Knowing the Nigerian factor, if there are twenty spaces on the offer, it really will not be up to twenty up for grabs by merit. This is the point where I part ways with the many students who want to be stars or who are already campus stars.

Recently, I was reluctant to work with my students who wanted to be part of the fad called Fashion Meets Music. Of all the students who showed interest, only one was stable academically. I felt it would amount to further distraction to share the minimal attention going to academics with something else. I asked my friend and my student Sugar,

“Why not Fashion or Music Meets Education or Academics?” Education in fact drives fashion and music.

Sugar knows when not to argue. I can guarantee that she understands what I am saying but I cannot guarantee that she agrees with my position. And what is my position? Since only one percent or less of people who seek fame and fortune in music make it there, young people have to have a back-up plan. Again, since only a percentage of those who make it to superstardom earn and retain their money over the years, there has to be a plan to which one can fall back if anything were to go wrong. We read that Akeem Olajuwon suspended his basketball career to go to school otherwise he would be ‘all brawn and no brains’ like some are wont to mock the black sports stars. Or are you hearing this for the first time? Yes, when you are all muscles or speed and you have no education or proven intelligence, they call you “all brawn (muscles) and no brain”! That’s why people like Jay Z are highly acclaimed. On the flip side, there are hundreds and hundreds of former superstars who are either in jail, out of jail and broken, doing menial jobs or just groping from club to club high on drugs and waiting to die.

For indeed there is nothing worse than having been up there and no longer having capacity or welcome to come up there again. Here’s my counsel.

“Grab your books and make sense so you can have something to fall back on when things are not going well. It’s simple, you must have something that sustains you while you wait to be a star. You must have something to fall on back on because superstardom is a bitch. It comes back to bite hard at people who burn up all the ropes in search of it and people who fail to manage it. In one sentence, I encourage you to pursue your dreams but I also encourage you to acquire skill and education while you are at it. You never truly know.