drlayla:
let the truth be told man is polygamous in nature. if u know ur husband has excess testosterone and wag is phallus at all the ladies in the neigbour hood it is simple allow him to legally marry those ladies as second wife or shut the Bleep up come rain come sun one woman can never satisfy a man....

drlayla:
let the truth be told man is polygamous in nature. if u know ur husband has excess testosterone and wag is phallus at all the ladies in the neigbour hood it is simple allow him to legally marry those ladies as second wife or shut the Bleep up come rain come sun one woman can never satisfy a man....

SAMBARRY:
continue lying To yourself to make yourself feel good. Ode oshi

Na so you dey turn your private part to public part abi na community property wry be say na every open gutter and soakaway wey you see, you go slot am inside

ststy.real:

Permit me to say that u are only fast at picking faults but not patient enough to read carefully. U r faster than your shadow. Please learn to be calm and cool.

daretodiffer:

ststyreal:

Ohhhhh! Now I ccccccc. My dear, case closed. U that insult d dead, what can't u do to d living. Infact, henceforth, don't think I will respond to u again, on this forum. I advised u to go and cool your spirit yet u didn't take to my advice. I pray for you today, that the Lord almighty will give you the spirit of patience, forbearance, peace and humility through Christ our Lord, Amen. Peace to your soul my dear.

EggovinMma:
Why is everybody accusing daretodiffer? Na she kill the aunty? ?

joseph1832:
OP permit me to say that's your uncle, some men wouldn't even blink about it, I mean they will say if she can hold her peace for 3 months, they see no reason why she can't hold her peace forever.

Your aunt was married to a man who reason and listens, otherwise, he wouldn't have stopped cheating.

Some cheating husbands see it as their god given right and talent to cheat on their wives, whether she is aware or not aware of it isn't their business.

I tell any girl who wants to get married to have it at the back of their mind that the man they're marrying may likely cheat on them, however, how they handle it goes a long way. The fear of God doesn't have anything to do with it, self control, yes.

dearestaramide:
MY uncle and I love to have conversations on life, relationships, politics etc. Any way, we got into discussion on the high rate of divorce in Nigeria and he went on to express what he felt were cause of it. He emphasized on patience and forgiveness and went on to tell me of an experience that cured him of his player life style

Years ago, my uncle was like the average Nigerian man, that is of course womanizer but like the average man, he was smart not to flaunt it, though as women, we always can tell. His wife had always known and was always told by her over sabi friends but since she never caught him red handed, she couldn't do anything about it.

The constant late night calls, meetings, sudden travels increased her belief of what she already knew. what could she do? yes, as any average wife, she was in pains but still showed him love and made sure she was there for him any time he needed a friend to talk to. She never complained or cried to her family or friends but kept in all inside her. He respected her for this even though as he said, he was too addicted to women to stop, though he tried.

My uncle was called off for a conference which was to last for one week and as usual with out delay, he jetted off. A cousin of my aunt whom she had not seen for over two years then came to visit and but was staying in a hotel which was by all means high standard and very expensive. My aunt decided to visit her on a Saturday so as to stay longer and catch up on old times. My aunt as you suspected caught sight of her husband really romancing a woman in the pool area and as you know, the man was supposed to be in Port Harcourt and had presumably jetted off three days before. She calmly finished what took her to the hotel and went back home.


My aunt never showed her husband any difference and still treated him normal as usual but one day whilst he was in a very good mood and they were watching an interesting movie in their room, she calmly told him what she had seen THREE MONTHS EARLIER and asked him not to do it again as he had hurt her deeply.

That night, shame, shock, fear all kinds of thoughts but best of all respect clouded my uncle's thought. He did eventually stop but not immediately oooo. He said it was gradual but he eventually stopped.

MY aunt fell ill and died years later and my uncle was sooo heart broken. He is still single by the way.

WHAT I LEARNT

all men are the same only thing that differentiates them is fear of God and self control.
Women need to be wiser and more matured than men.
Never act immediately this enables you time to think and strategise
shouting doesn't change men but pushes them away

diva90:
This is BS! You should have told us what killed her, probably an STD that she contracted from her husband or high blood pressure from all the thinking and lack of peace of mind. I also want to believe she stayed in the marriage because she was financially dependent on him, there is no other reason why a wise woman would take such nonsense and risk her life/health. Thank Goodness for the Age of Enlightenment and female empowerment , most women don't have to remain in such a miserable mess. Imagine if the tables were turned and your aunt was the one cheating, how would your uncle have handled it?

dearestaramide:


some federal mugus will tell me nonsense that this is a script.Rubbish. hope you learnt one thing or two

daretodiffer:


I find the title and your post really insulting to women. You used the words 'mature and learn'. Do you assume that we are stupid or what? I do not understand what you are trying to achieve?

Did you try asking your aunty if she had any toasters and admirers after marriage? Ask her what stopped her? She is going to tell that she did and it was respect for her husband and their marriage that stopped her. But her husband does not the same respect for her and their marriage yet you will come tomorrow and insult a woman who cheats on her husband. Some men think that it is their birthright to cheat and he does not need to have respect for women. He goes ahead to do so and the world expects the woman to maturely deal with him. Yet you won't stop calling us petty or gold-diggers or less intelligent beings, How can you expect a specie with all that characteristics to be wiser and more mature than you are?


Why should women be wiser and more matured than man? I thought you were supposed to be the leader and the smarter one . Don't you think that the lack of those qualities make it unfit to be in a relationship not to mention lead a family?

The happy ending your uncle told you about rarely happen. You need to be mature to be able to learn that it is just a case out of many.


Moral of my rant:
Don't dish what you can take.
Respect is reciprocal
Every action has its unforeseen consequences

These apply to males and females. Treat people, most especially your partner the way you want to be treated. If they don't mind you treating them like garbage then good for you.

doyinisaac:
See ur life!!!!! anyways common sense is not always common.....so many dumb naija ladies on Nairaland....

Chukzyfcb:
OP, I'm a guy but this your story is not new. Its a flawed thinking to exonorate mens behaviour. Put yourself in that position, if you had seen your wife romancing another man coupled with the fact she lied bout the business trip, would you still act nice for 3whole months?
IN todays world, the advice on relationship is targeted to the women. Not enough seminar is organised forthe men, we are growing lots of Indisciplined males, unfortunately it will cause a multipler effect because women will have to put up with our reckless behaviour.

zeongeon:
Reading some comments on this thread and you will pity for the institution of marriage in the future to come. Marriage is for mature minds and any one who understands the institution of marriage wouldn't be quick to divorce or cheat...as some girls on here are all screaming " I will divorce him" " I can't stand cheating" yes you can't stand cheating BUT always have in mind that if you most stay married then patience and forgiveness should be your core value.

Some people have seen worse in there marriages and have been able to pull through and are best lovers/friends for IT. For example on BBC life I was so touched by the comment of woman whose husband was a cheat and ended up giving her HIV and they still together and best of friends and lovers..Here is some of the woman's and man comment as I remember..

Woman: I just had to forgive him, I mean he is my husband, I decided to marry him, though it was hard at first but my love for him saw us through and we are better for it, I can't do without him and he can't do without me.

Man: Not a single day passes by without me being so ashamed and sad...I hope I live to get over what I have done...

Now that above is marriage.

If you want to marry and stay married use patience and forgiveness to sew agbada/ eru and buba.

Cheating is wrong but then again in marriage you are dealing with an imperfect person be it a man or a woman.

God Bless your aunty soul.

dearestaramide:


WHAT I LEARNT

all men are the same only thing that differentiates them is fear of God and self control.
Women need to be wiser and more matured than men.
Never act immediately this enables you time to think and strategise
shouting doesn't change men but pushes them away

zeongeon:
Reading some comments on this thread and you will pity for the institution of marriage in the future to come. Marriage is for mature minds and any one who understands the institution of marriage wouldn't be quick to divorce or cheat...as some girls on here are all screaming " I will divorce him" " I can't stand cheating" yes you can't stand cheating BUT always have in mind that if you most stay married then patience and forgiveness should be your core value.

Some people have seen worse in there marriages and have been able to pull through and are best lovers/friends for IT. For example on BBC life I was so touched by the comment of woman whose husband was a cheat and ended up giving her HIV and they still together and best of friends and lovers..Here is some of the woman's and man comment as I remember..

Woman: I just had to forgive him, I mean he is my husband, I decided to marry him, though it was hard at first but my love for him saw us through and we are better for it, I can't do without him and he can't do without me.

Man: Not a single day passes by without me being so ashamed and sad...I hope I live to get over what I have done...

Now that above is marriage.

If you want to marry and stay married use patience and forgiveness to sew agbada/ eru and buba.

Cheating is wrong but then again in marriage you are dealing with an imperfect person be it a man or a woman.

God Bless your aunty soul.

Godmother:


He would have kicked her out asap. Most men can't take or forgive cheating. It wounds them deeply, which is why it baffles me that they would make someone else go through such pain and expect you to overlook.

daretodiffer:


Sorry to say this but you have no right to quote me. How am I to know that the aunty is late?