One of my good friends often tells me of how her boyfriend is very posessive, he calls constantly and demands that she tell him everything she has done and anywhere she has gone or will go. What exactly causes these guys to be so posessive? Ladies, how do you feel when your boyfriend is too posessive and will you ever leave your boyfriend because of this bad habit?

curious121:

One of my good friends often tells me of how her boyfriend is very posessive, he calls constantly and demands that she tell him everything she has done and anywhere she has gone or will go. What exactly causes these guys to be so posessive? Ladies, how do you feel when your boyfriend is too posessive and will you ever leave your boyfriend because of this bad habit?

my bf constantly does this; but i kindly rremind him that since he soesnt tell me everything, then I should earn the same respect.

Thats what its all about

My bf is ove ova posesv,even wen I tell him where I am he'l want to speak to d ppl there n frankly speak its irritating wen he does dat but ppl say girls love it wen their man is posesv,but wot I like is a lil bit of jealousy,wen he is posesv I feel he doesn't trust me n its really bad cuz it doesn't make me feel good,if I'm in a relationship I hardly even notice oda men not to tink doin stuff bhind his back,so ur ans is I get very irritated and disgusted wen he is ova protective n since he is always ova possesv I'm always irritated so d d relatnshp cnt last,I'm stepping out

curious121:

One of my good friends often tells me of how her boyfriend is very posessive, he calls constantly and demands that she tell him everything she has done and anywhere she has gone or will go. What exactly causes these guys to be so posessive? Ladies, how do you feel when your boyfriend is too posessive and will you ever leave your boyfriend because of this bad habit?

It is not a good thing to have a possessive partner, but it can be curtailed gradually by reassurance and tolerance. Also teasing them about it works too, for example, I sent a text message to my man this morning saying "Good morning o, ololufe mi mon darling, before you come and subject us to The Grand Inquisition that we didn't call you and that our phone was switched off when you tried to call us"

So by the time I called him 7 hours later, he didn't bend my ears with his "where have you been query" but he was slightly embarassed and just teased me instead that he got my text and that I was silly that he never bugs me

I've had girlfriends who were very possessive, also seen friend's girlfriends who are extremely possessive to the extent that they call numbers in phones belonging to their boyfriends. If a girl picks up on the other end, they issue her some serious warning lol. Its crazy! but its not only a guy thing, girls do it even more

jackie.:

My bf is ove ova posesv,even wen I tell him where I am he'l want to speak to d ppl there n frankly speak its irritating wen he does dat but ppl say girls love it wen their man is posesv,but wot I like is a lil bit of jealousy,wen he is posesv I feel he doesn't trust me n its really bad cuz it doesn't make me feel good,if I'm in a relationship I hardly even notice oda men not to tink doin stuff bhind his back,so ur ans is I get very irritated and disgusted wen he is ova protective n since he is always ova possesv I'm always irritated so d d relatnshp cnt last,I'm stepping out

Thats a bit extreme Your boyfriend or is it your ex clearly has insecurity and trust issues, ha ha how can he tell you to pass the phone to others to confirm whether you are lying to him or telling him the truth about where you are

whitelexi:

I've had girlfriends who were very possessive, also seen friend's girlfriends who are extremely possessive to the extent that they call numbers in phones belonging to their boyfriends. If a girl picks up on the other end, they issue her some serious warning lol. Its crazy! but its not only a guy thing, girls do it even more

That is not extreme at all, they are only marking their territory, thats all. I'd admit I used to do it before and it never failed me, I used to introduce myself as the cousin to put the girls at ease and get them to spill and boy you need to hear their story, you'd think they had verbal diarrhoea

big_bumper:

That is not extreme at all, they are only marking their territory, thats all. I'd admit I used to do it before and it never failed me, I used to introduce myself as the cousin to put the girls at ease and get them to spill and boy you need to hear their story, you'd think they had verbal diarrhoea

I prefer my girl to discuss it with me rather than go behind my back. . . It kills the trust

Seriously he does dat,there r sumtins he does dat I'm too ashamed off so I cnt drop it on dis land but he does horrible tins,at first I tot he was doing it to make feel loved but later I realised it was.just hw he is,sumtiyms wen I get my hair done n my nails he,l say I'm doing it for men to woo me n I keep telling him its for him n says he likes me natural,iv tried natural even go on without makeup,but he kips lukin for new tins to nag abt everyfucking day,its so, omg,he gets to me like hell,left him but he is begging.

Hate it, was on a works nite out with all de gang from work, while sittin in de pub my bf foned & asked where i was so i told him i was in de pub with my work mates, about four hours later got another call askin which pub i was in so i told him, five mins after dat he said im in dat pub & i cant see you, he had actually drove over 6hrs to check to c who i was with needless to say he had a wasted journey as he found i was with all my mates.

xxcarolxx:

Hate it, was on a works nite out with all de gang from work, while sittin in de pub my bf foned & asked where i was so i told him i was in de pub with my work mates, about four hours later got another call askin which pub i was in so i told him, five mins after dat he said im in dat pub & i cant see you, he had actually drove over 6hrs to check to c who i was with needless to say he had a wasted journey as he found i was with all my mates.

damm!

whitelexi:

I prefer my girl to discuss it with me rather than go behind my back. . . It kills the trust

yeah but like my bf says the only reason a goat and a yam should be together is for eating. so its our job to find if youre planning to take a bite!

Check dis out I cnt hang out with nybody but him including girls.

platinumnk:

yeah but like my bf says the only reason a goat and a yam should be together is for eating. so its our job to find if youre planning to take a bite!

Friend of mine recently dumped his gf for doing just that. . .  His was a funny case, she got everything she requested from him, spent almost all her free time with him, and yet suspected he was dating more women. As a result, she calls a number on his phone and abuses the lady on the other end [for not answering her questions about what she was doing with her bf] not knowing she was his account manager. . .  The lady felt insulted and requested to drop his account, he lost his mind and dumped his girlfriend. . .  Now her head is cool

whitelexi:

I prefer my girl to discuss it with me rather than go behind my back. . . It kills the trust

There are ways of doing it without you knowing It is just a means to an end to ensure our vested interest and crown jewel is fully protected and guaranteed, thats all

jackie.:

Seriously he does dat,there r sumtins he does dat I'm too ashamed off so I cnt drop it on dis land but he does horrible tins,at first I tot he was doing it to make feel loved but later I realised it was.just hw he is,sumtiyms wen I get my hair done n my nails he,l say I'm doing it for men to woo me n I keep telling him its for him n says he likes me natural,iv tried natural even go on without makeup,but he kips lukin for new tins to nag abt everyfucking day,its so, omg,he gets to me like hell,left him but he is begging.

Your relationship with your boyfriend is not healthy, but before you dump him, you need to sit him down and have an heart to heart with him and tell him that he has to trust you, and that you love him and have tried to change for him, so he needs to do some changing too and start learning to trust you.

You also need to step back and see if you can find out the reason behind his distrust, it could be because you are very pretty or more financially solvent or more advanced in education than he is, or maybe he has been through bad relationships where the girl jilted him or whatever. Try and see things from his angle and see if and where you can help him overconme his lack of confidence and insecurity.

But whatever you decide to do, you need to stop changing yorself to suit him and start reasserting yourself and your stance in that relationship, don't let any man force you into any uncomfortable situation.

Been over posessive though can wreck a relationship, if we go to parties together im not supposed to talk to any one, how do you convince ur bf he has got nothing to worry about dat ur only interested in him!

@big bumper u r so rite,I got tired of changing too many tins cuz I was in love,oda tins came wit his insecurity,but nw I'm free frm his bondage,but its really difficult,miss him sOooooooo much,I'm fighting hard.

@topic
Excessive posessiveness is darn well irritating, sometimes people just need air to breath.

By way 4giv sum of my wrong spellings,my bb confuses me all d time

follypimpi:

Well my ex once came over to my yard around 3am in the morning,dunno mayb she was high on coke and started banging on my Door screaming Open the door,i know there's a bitch in there & re re re.She camein eventually and realised there was no 1 there told me she came over b'cos my phone was switched off and she's been tryna call me for Hours.I kicked her sorry ass to the curb without hesitation.

That is how some girls get themselves killed. Didn't she fear for her safety coming at 3am in the morning And are you sure she is gone for good because I don't want someone to come and break my head whilst I am getting my grove on under your sledge hammer

jackie.:

@big bumper u r so rite,I got tired of changing too many tins cuz I was in love,oda tins came wit his insecurity,but nw I'm free frm his bondage,but its really difficult,miss him sOooooooo much,I'm fighting hard.

You have separated from him for a while and you are still missing him, so if he misses you too and you know he has not moved on, this is the right time for you two to meet in a quiet place to have a chat to see whether you can salvage your relationship and see if it is worth saving.

follypimpi:


At some point i thought i was caused with Possessive girls,cos i saved my Momma's # as Honie Mie,One of my ex once called her,didnt wait for the poor woman to say nothing and started cursing my momma,also rememba one deleted all the girls # on my phone,Heaven break lose when i found out.Bumper,i didnt get the proposed txt msg you claimed to have sent moi Or do i have rival??

Aawww shoot I can explain, its my Personal Assistant Fl_Gators's fault, she is practically in control of my diary , so she comes online daily with my Big_bumper ID between the hours of 8.20pm to 8.40pm to manage my NL account So she must have gotten carried away and posted that nonsense as me, you see

Where do you get those crazy-arse girls from, ^{when you wouldn't stop following serekode's like Tope2000, Fl-Gators and Platinumnk} I am already in love with the one who deleted all the girl's number on your phone, she is a girl after my own heart

follypimpi:


Well don't blame me now,the Youngiez need sum grownup loving too.

Heck no, Gators should face her studies, I have told her she is not allowed to have a boyfriend till she is 27

follypimpi:

Well my ex once came over to my yard around 3am in the morning,dunno mayb she was high on coke and started banging on my Door screaming Open the door,i know there's a bitch in there & re re re.She camein eventually and realised there was no 1 there told me she came over b'cos my phone was switched off and she's been tryna call me for Hours.I kicked her sorry ass to the curb without hesitation.

Rofl . . . . .banging on ur door at 3am cux ur phone was switched off

I think this possesiveness of a thing wears off as a relationship grows old.

Its management at the early part of the relationship is KEY;be honest,trust-worthy and tell believable lies when you have to .

Of course it worsens if bad precedents are laid.

Frm wot iv bin tru wnt even try dat wit a guy,n I hate it wen a guy nags like a bitch,yeah guys do it,unbelievable I knw buts true story

What a controlling power trip. He would make an excellent slave master and if she puts up with it, she will make an excellent slave.

What ever makes them happy will make it work

Do u knw wot kills a rltnshp,doubts.once u start tinkin dat sumtin is hapnin its doomed,cuz ul neva trust d person.

jackie.:

Do u knw wot kills a rltnshp,doubts.once u start tinkin dat sumtin is hapnin its doomed,cuz ul neva trust d person.

I think text-speak on NL should be banned.

4 Play:

I think text-speak on NL should be banned.

I di njo.

I've been wit my guy for 4yrs & he is still posessive im so sick of him, im expected to answer my fone when he rings if i dont answer he has a fanny attack, but yet if i call him & he dont answer im supposed to take it, hell no you can only take so much crap from a person