Emotional Abuse - Family - Nairaland
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| Emotional Abuse by Nobody: 5:40pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
I hear and read stories of physical abuse in relationships and marriages sometimes. Some people think it's the worst and only form of abuse in a union but fail to understand that "emotional abuse" can be just as bad if not worst than physical abuse. I have a neighbour whose husband doesn't lay a finger on, but she is worst than a physically battered woman. An issue came up recently that forced me to write this. Her mother in law took their daughter away from her with the excuse that she is not the kind of wife she wants for her only son. So this past sunday she told her husband she wants to pay their daughter a visit at his mother's house before he left the house. One thing lead to another and she couldn't make it. she didn't inform her husband about her failed trip, lo and behold that night he came home with a woman, when he discovered she didn't travel as planned he completely ignored her acting like she doesn't exist and proceeded to make the girl comfortable. It was the sound of her wailing that woke me up, In the face of all this she didn't say a word to him but continued crying. She has become so abused that she doesn't know her rights as a wife,she has completely lost her self esteem and ability to reason properly. She used to be full of life but she is now a shadow of her self, her daughter that used to be her only joy has been taken away from her. If care isn't taken she may go mental very soon. PLEASE! I am appealing to everyone that reads this, if you have a sister or relative that is in a similar situation she needs help. Don't abandon her if she seems not to be taking your advice, her brain has been configured to believe she is useless and no man would find her attractive. Persist on her matter before she starts laughing and mumbling to herself when walking on the street. Emotional abuse can run a person mad. Sorry for the epistle and typos. 6 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by Cutehector(m): 5:42pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
K |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by introvertious: 6:01pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by Dyt(f): 6:07pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
It pains me when I hear my fellow women go thru this Hell to the fcking no You don't ever allow a man to treat you like crap Damn I am pained I wish I can slap some senses into her Nonsense and ingredient Making these men folks feel they are superior She better shakes it off Get a job or business Start making money Looking beautiful Yoruba's say forifori I don't like this nonsense I just read  4 Likes |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by Nobody: 6:22pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
My mum had to practically force her to start learning how to sew. Even her husband's 8 years old brother insults her, it's pathetic. |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by amokeme(f): 6:36pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
Can't she leave the house for him?? I don't just understand some women! The child that would have made her stay in the house has been taken away from her, so what is the point of her staying there exactly!? Does she have a job? A business? Or any source of livelihood? If the answer is no, then I "pity" her. Clearly the husband is just a man by default. How can your mother come to your matrimonial home to take your child?? And her excuse is your wife is not the kind of woman she wants for you! Na wa o... things are really happening. I tell ladies, if your mother in law doesn't like you, and you have searched your conciense and it's clean, please leave her son for her... The pain you will go through then can't and will never be compared with the one you will face if you go ahead and marry him! I'm very sure the wife saw all this signs and still ignored them. Like it or not ladies, there is nothing like "I'm getting married to my husband alone" that is a lie from the pit of hell, when you are getting married, you are getting married to "his whole family" take it or leave it, it's just the bitter truth. I hope she sorts her self out before it becomes any worse 4 Likes |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by KingEbukasBlog(m): 6:53pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
amokeme: Same with the man .. y'all both marry each other's family 2 Likes |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by amokeme(f): 7:21pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
KingEbukasBlog:  nobody is disputing that1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by Nobody: 7:53pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
amokeme:She doesn't believe another man would want her. |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by Dyt(f): 8:16pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
michymeg: She's even got low self esteem? I need to be friends with her Location pls 2 Likes |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by Nobody: 8:24pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
Dyt:I can't share her location here for personal reasons. . |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by Dyt(f): 8:28pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
michymeg: Your own location Abi una no dey stay same place Hehehe I just hate to hear women are facing this situation It breaks my heart Hianus 1 Like |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by Nobody: 8:30pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
Dyt:I stay in asaba |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by Dyt(f): 8:31pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by Acidosis(m): 8:52pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
Is she an orphan? |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by temi4fash(m): 9:20pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by baby124: 10:19pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
Such women make me laugh. They are the type that do me and my husband alone. They have no life outside of the husband. This is why husband can do what he wants any time any day. She can only cry. It starts from their upbringing and what worth their parents place on them as women. Maybe they have been raised to see themselves this low. She will never leave that marriage so OP, just leave her alone. The moment her husband shows her affection, she will turn on you. Even if the attention lasts for a minute. |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by cococandy(f): 10:54pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
michymeg:So what if another man doesn't want her? Is her existence centered around being wanted by a man? I'm sorry I don't feel for her. She even let her child get taken from her without a fight because she's afraid that if she fights back the man won't want her again. Make she suit herself for there. 2 Likes |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by amokeme(f): 11:33pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
cococandy:God bless you for the bold... I don't understand o 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by Fanirandele: 12:29am On Feb 24, 2016 |
Emotional abuse can be worse because it's usually harder to prove so people will keep telling the victim she's just over reacting or spoilt. They've ruined that girls self esteem which is what abusers do, with that she won't even be able to stand up for herself. Let her get a job no matter how small, gradually her self esteem will increase 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by veave(f): 12:35am On Feb 24, 2016 |
I am here to read comments. |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by amokeme(f): 12:39am On Feb 24, 2016 |
Fanirandele:I think she ruined her selfesteem herself... 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by Fanirandele: 12:47am On Feb 24, 2016 |
amokeme: We don't know how she was before the marriage so it's possible she's alway even had low self esteem, abusers know how to identify potential victims . On the other hand she may have had high self esteem when she married him and he's put her down over the years and stripped it off plus taking away her baby... Where's her family though  Even if she can't speak for herself he parents should be able to fight for her. I can't imagine someone taking away my grandchild from my daughter 1 Like |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by Nobody: 7:39am On Feb 24, 2016 |
Acidosis:She is not in good terms with her mother |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by Olasco93: 9:03am On Feb 24, 2016 |
There are Four (4) sides to this story; 1. The Woman's side, 2. The Husband's side, 3. Her Mother-in-law side and, 4. What really happened. Though what is happening to her is very painful. At this point in her life, any advice that comes her way and favours her, is GOOD to her, not minding the advicer and the consequencies... . michymeg, i think you can play a good part in her life at this point. Talk to her, let her understand that she has Dignity, Worth and Value. (This may sound foolish), let her go to her husband with an open mind, kneeling before him and plead her case, telling the husband to forgive her all her wrongs and flaws... This as it seems, can change her marriage life forever, instead of it to be a forever shame/ridicule... (These wont make the woman cheap or lower her status because he's her husband and she is in control of her home and marriage only if she knows). . These will melt the husband's heart, dissarm his ego and wildness. Above all, his conscience will tell him the truth even if he tries to act i-don't-care physically. From there, the man may decide to make amend and come to the reality that He chosed to marry his wife, not his mother or at his mother's will. #My-opinion. |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by tron23(m): 9:32am On Feb 24, 2016 |
Are women only affected by emotional abuse? What of men that are always abused, insulted, nagged and made to feel worthless because they have financial difficulties at the moment. I believe that our Society still has a long way to go, people must learn (male and female) to identify abusive relationships, friendships, marriages and exit them immediately. I once heard a renowned Pastor encourage a lady to return to her husband who was beating her, abusing her and he justified his action by saying God doesn't like divorce. What of murder? Is it when someone dies that we will react? These days many men are made to feel worthless and insignificant by their wives just because they are low on cash at the moment. I know people who once they stepped out of abusive relationships/ marriages, they blossomed. We need to change our mind sets and set boundaries. I personally DONOT allow anyone talk to me any how because I value my mental well being, and neither should you reading this. If the last time you smiled in your relationship was 2 years ago, my brother and sister its time to re-evaluate things. My parting shot: Everyone should take proper care of their mental well being. 4 Likes |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by cococandy(f): 3:58pm On Feb 24, 2016 |
 tron23: 1 Like |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by Acidosis(m): 4:00pm On Feb 24, 2016 |
michymeg: Please share this photo with her.
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| Re: Emotional Abuse by luciouscookie: 4:57pm On Feb 24, 2016 |
tron23:I love this! 1 Like |
| Re: Emotional Abuse by Nobody: 10:52pm On Feb 24, 2016 |
cococandy: u will not understand....I have been dia u know when people start telling u how worthless u are especially if it comes from people u love and value....when ur friends starts showing u dat u are nofin but pieces of trash den u will understand wat dat woman is going through (not u o lolz). I personally broke my sim card just to get rid of everything...everyone (call me foolish). I need to prove dem wrong 1 Like |
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