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See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State - Politics - Nairaland

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See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by pollmaniac(m): 1:17am On Mar 08, 2016
Yesterday, I was having a nice chat with my friend
After watching Buhari’s interview in Aljazeera and reading
Comments on NL. So we were joking about how Nigeria
Will be like if it is Islamized and sharia implemented. Here's some of the jokes we shared.
NB:They are scary but true.

1. No more brazillian hair for the ladies. Whats the need since it will be covered in hijab anyway, and nobody will be brave enough to sell such.

2. No women driving cars anymore lol. Na koboko certificate be dat

3. Women can no longer go out without permission and assistance of a close male unless she likes koboko

4. If you are a woman and you are raped, you will receive 54 lashes of koboko and jailed for 6 months for putting the guy in temptation

5. No more ass shaking girls in Olamide’s videos

6. Timaya’s head will be cut off for morally degrading the society with his bum bum video as well as other artists such as Iyanya kukere and Davido fans mi (drugs)

7. All baby mamas’ head will be cut off

8. No more choosing your own spouse. What’s the need since you already have been betrothed to one guy like that who can still marry other women if he likes

9. If you sit in public with Shiite Muslims, koboko for you

10. If you shake hands with a woman, na koboko for you

11. No more pastors preaching in the streets, dem no born you well?

12. Christians will become third class citizens after the Shiites in second class. Therefore if a first class guy slaps you in broad daylight, he is right. Any objections, visit the sharia court.

13. Nigeria will no longer be Nigeria because it will be renamed to the name of “the saint that did everyone good by enforcing Islam”. Just like the Al-Saud family renaming the country to Saudi Arabia. If you have any objections, present your back first.

14. If Olamide won’t sing ONLY songs of praise for Allah, then he should go and sleep. Otherwise he should submit his back for proper lashing to remind him of where he is.

15. To cure konji go be only for the Emirs and sultans.

16. To go ashawo go be only for the royal family in the UK. If you try am, your head go disappear.

17. Bombings will become a normal thing all over the country and not just in the north.


If you have more suggestions, bring it on. Let’s keep the fun going.

15 Likes 4 Shares

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by ChoCandyDiamond(f): 1:23am On Mar 08, 2016
What a Country!!!!, I pity the females under the bondage of **** Religion is the Opium of the masses

6 Likes

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by Ratello: 1:33am On Mar 08, 2016
@ Op, I swear you be confirm clown.....all the same you yearn correct cheesy cheesy grin

1 Like

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by tunshe: 1:53am On Mar 08, 2016
ChoCandyDiamond:
What a Country!!!!, I pity the females under the bondage of Arabs

Because you won't be allowed to walk naked as displayed on your profile.

Only animals like dog, pig, donkey, cows.....walk naked.

16 Likes 1 Share

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by pollmaniac(m): 1:58am On Mar 08, 2016
18. If you are madly in love with koboko, then read the bible in public!

19. Chyking a girl becomes a dare devil act. Only the "Mad" in spirit tries it and goes away with 24 koboko maps on his back. If you are not "Mad" in spirit, then...

20. If you browse porn site.. CHOI!!!!!

21. Women can say bye bye to politics, unless somehow there is strong pressure from the western investors

22. Twenty yr old unmarried woman will be like:::: "When will my own husband come? I am getting old!"

4 Likes

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by pollmaniac(m): 2:00am On Mar 08, 2016
tunshe:


Because you won't be allowed to walk naked as displayed on your profile.

Only animals like dog, pig, donkey, cows.....walk naked.

In the pic, She is in her room, and she isn't naked. how come you say she is "walking" naked?

7 Likes

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by DaBullIT(m): 2:05am On Mar 08, 2016
tunshe:


Because you won't be allowed to walk naked as displayed on your profile.

Only animals like dog, pig, donkey, cows.....walk naked.

4 Likes

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by ChoCandyDiamond(f): 2:06am On Mar 08, 2016
tunshe:


Because you won't be allowed to walk naked as displayed on your profile.

Only animals like dog, pig, donkey, cows.....walk naked.
Religion is the Opium of the masses, In the Garden of Eden, Man and woman where walking Unclad, I rather walk on Unclad than to submit myself to **** Pedophiles and their Pedophile **** who specializes in raping,killing, bombing and taking hostages of innocent little girls as young as 6 yrs old for sexual gratification,I am better than them,emancipate yourself from mental slavery.

41 Likes 4 Shares

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by pollmaniac(m): 2:09am On Mar 08, 2016
[quote author=DaBullIT post=43574383][/quote]

Guy I hail o!!

You be Baba for porn surfing lol

1 Like

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by ChoCandyDiamond(f): 2:31am On Mar 08, 2016
We are living in the free world,pick your own lovely pictures from list of big booties and paste,is allowed,whatever rocks my boat

4 Likes

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by Kagarko(m): 3:11am On Mar 08, 2016
ChoCandyDiamond:
What a Country!!!!, I pity the females under the bondage of ****,Religion is the Opium of the masses


To you and the OP pls tell us the true position of all these you mention in your Religious believe.

Pls be sincere in the reportage and let's see if any difference exist Between Islam and Christianity concerning morality.

1 Like

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by Olarajee(m): 3:29am On Mar 08, 2016
Ignorance us worse than death... I pity your lives. Little wonder you're all troop in to Dubai... and the likes.

Not even a sane post from the youths of nowadays.

3 Likes

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by wegga(m): 3:29am On Mar 08, 2016
correction on #12, Shiites will be 3rd class citizens with Christians as 4th class. Their livestock will be the 2nd class citizens. If you know say you chop liver oya do suya night for church.

16 Likes 2 Shares

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by lukecent: 3:41am On Mar 08, 2016
ChoCandyDiamond:

Religion is the Opium of the masses, In the Garden of Eden, Man and woman where walking Unclad, I rather walk on Unclad than to submit myself to **** Pedophiles and their Pedophile **** who specializes in raping,killing, bombing and taking hostages of innocent little girls as young as 6 yrs old for sexual gratification,I am better than them,emancipate yourself from mental slavery.

Mhen! This is a hard one

1 Like

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by johnmark1234(m): 3:53am On Mar 08, 2016
ChoCandyDiamond:

Religion is the Opium of the masses, In the Garden of Eden, Man and woman where walking Unclad, I rather walk on Unclad than to submit myself to **** Pedophiles and their Pedophile **** who specializes in raping,killing, bombing and taking hostages of innocent little girls as young as 6 yrs old for sexual gratification,I am better than them,emancipate yourself from mental slavery.
Ada abeg make u tell them the koko' mad people
Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by pollmaniac(m): 4:00am On Mar 08, 2016
wegga:
correction on #12, Shiites will be 3rd class citizens with Christians as 4th class. Their livestock will be the 2nd class citizens. If you know say you chop liver oya do suya night for church.

lol

1 Like

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by opribo(m): 4:40am On Mar 08, 2016
Seriously we need a little bit of sharia down South, the moral decadence has reached all time high to the extent that strip clubs has become common place now.

I can just imagine one terrorist throwing in a bomb into one of them stripper clubs in a sharia environment.. May God help us.
Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by Nobody: 4:51am On Mar 08, 2016
opribo:
Seriously we need a little bit of sharia down South, the moral decadence has reached all time high to the extent that strip clubs has become common place now.

I can just imagine one terrorist throwing in a bomb into one of them stripper clubs in a sharia environment.. May God help us.

And sharia is all you can think of?

11 Likes

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by chynie: 5:18am On Mar 08, 2016
Watch porn your eyes will be plucked out
Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by Ebbunwa(m): 5:57am On Mar 08, 2016
that means no more clubbing at blinkx, cubana and co. I don't even want to think of it. tufiakwa

2 Likes

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by skyman200(m): 5:58am On Mar 08, 2016
I pity the women sha, welcome to islam, that was the change u voted for.

1 Like

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by orisa37: 6:05am On Mar 08, 2016
1. No more brazillian hair for the ladies. Whats the need since it will be covered in hijab anyway, and nobody will be brave enough to sell such.

2. No women driving cars anymore lol. Na koboko certificate be dat

3. Women can no longer go out without permission and assistance of a close male unless she likes koboko

4. If you are a woman and you are raped, you will receive 54 lashes of koboko and jailed for 6 months for putting the guy in temptation

5. No more ass shaking girls in Olamide’s videos

6. Timaya’s head will be cut off for morally degrading the society with his bum bum video as well as other artists such as Iyanya kukere and Davido fans mi (drugs)

7. All baby mamas’ head will be cut off

8. No more choosing your own spouse. What’s the need since you already have been betrothed to one guy like that who can still marry other women if he likes

9. If you sit in public with Shiite Muslims, koboko for you

10. If you shake hands with a woman, na koboko for you

11. No more pastors preaching in the streets, dem no born you well?

12. Christians will become third class citizens after the Shiites in second class. Therefore if a first class guy slaps you in broad daylight, he is right. Any objections, visit the sharia court.

13. Nigeria will no longer be Nigeria because it will be renamed to the name of “the saint that did everyone good by enforcing Islam”. Just like the Al-Saud family renaming the country to Saudi Arabia. If you have any objections, present your back first.

14. If Olamide won’t sing ONLY songs of praise for Allah, then he should go and sleep. Otherwise he should submit his back for proper lashing to remind him of where he is.

15. To cure konji go be only for the Emirs and sultans.

16. To go ashawo go be only for the royal family in the UK. If you try am, your head go disappear.

17. Bombings will become a normal thing all over the country and not just in the north.
18. There will continue to be no progress for Nebuchadnezzar nor Pharaoh.
19. PYO will not be a dream well interpreted and realized.
20. Autarky policy will be aims never understood and the opportunities therein deliberately mortified. God will hear every one s Prayers and heal Nigeria.

1 Like

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by ShegeYorubawa: 6:19am On Mar 08, 2016
That's why when some yoruba BB ladies shout "chanji", i dey look them dey laugh. grin grin grin
Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by tunshe: 6:20am On Mar 08, 2016
pollmaniac:


In the pic, She is in her room, and she isn't naked. how come you say she is "walking" naked?

In her room on nairaland?

2 Likes

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by seunny4lif(m): 6:24am On Mar 08, 2016
grin
Na true oooh
Dem value those cows pass human being talkless of Christians grin
Shiites go be 3rd class becos their are still brodas a little since those one too like Sharia Law grin
But hmmm, no clubbing , no more Origin shocked shocked,
How forbid grin angry
My suya oooh grin
wegga:
correction on #12, Shiites will be 3rd class citizens with Christians as 4th class. Their livestock will be the 2nd class citizens. If you know say you chop liver oya do suya night for church.

1 Like

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by tunshe: 6:25am On Mar 08, 2016
ChoCandyDiamond:

Religion is the Opium of the masses, In the Garden of Eden, Man and woman where walking Unclad, I rather walk on Unclad than to submit myself to **** Pedophiles and their Pedophile **** who specializes in raping,killing, bombing and taking hostages of innocent little girls as young as 6 yrs old for sexual gratification,I am better than them,emancipate yourself from mental slavery.

To you and your gullible likes, you have spoken intelligently but to the reasonable ones, you have only exhibited shallow religious understanding and bigotry.

3 Likes

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by seunny4lif(m): 6:30am On Mar 08, 2016
orisa37:
1. No more brazillian hair for the ladies. Whats the need since it will be covered in hijab anyway, and nobody will be brave enough to sell such.

2. No women driving cars anymore lol. Na koboko certificate be dat

3. Women can no longer go out without permission and assistance of a close male unless she likes koboko

4. If you are a woman and you are raped, you will receive 54 lashes of koboko and jailed for 6 months for putting the guy in temptation

5.[b] No more ass shaking girls in Olamide’s videos[/b]Noooo

6. Timaya’s head will be cut off for morally degrading the society with his bum bum video as well as other artists such as Iyanya kukere and Davido fans mi (drugs)

7. All baby mamas’ head will be cut off

8. No more choosing your own spouse. What’s the need since you already have been betrothed to one guy like that who can still marry other women if he likes

9. If you sit in public with Shiite Muslims, koboko for you

10. If you shake hands with a woman, na koboko for you

11. No more pastors preaching in the streets, dem no born you well?

12. Christians will become third class citizens after the Shiites in second class. Therefore if a first class guy slaps you in broad daylight, he is right. Any objections, visit the sharia court.

13. Nigeria will no longer be Nigeria because it will be renamed to the name of “the saint that did everyone good by enforcing Islam”. Just like the Al-Saud family renaming the country to Saudi Arabia. If you have any objections, present your back first.

14. If Olamide won’t sing ONLY songs of praise for Allah, then he should go and sleep. Otherwise he should submit his back for proper lashing to remind him of where he is.

15. To cure konji go be only for the Emirs and sultans.

16. To go ashawo go be only for the royal family in the UK. If you try am, your head go disappear.

17. Bombings will become a normal thing all over the country and not just in the north.
18. There will continue to be no progress for Nebuchadnezzar nor Pharaoh.
19. PYO will not be a dream well interpreted and realized.
20. Autarky policy will be aims never understood and the opportunities therein deliberately mortified. God will hear every one s Prayers and heal Nigeria.
Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by SMARTKOSSY: 6:30am On Mar 08, 2016
tunshe:


Because you won't be allowed to walk naked as displayed on your profile.

Only animals like dog, pig, donkey, cows.....walk naked.
itz beta to walk unclad dan suffocate urself o!...Wen I served,see as muslim girls dey faint like chicken.

3 Likes

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by seunny4lif(m): 6:32am On Mar 08, 2016
angry
You have neva lived in a Sharia country before
So I wouldn't blame you grin
No freedom at all
You can't greet a lady, hope you know dat shocked
opribo:
Seriously we need a little bit of sharia down South, the moral decadence has reached all time high to the extent that strip clubs has become common place now.

I can just imagine one terrorist throwing in a bomb into one of them stripper clubs in a sharia environment.. May God help us.

8 Likes

Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by SMARTKOSSY: 6:33am On Mar 08, 2016
Ebbunwa:
that means no more clubbing at blinkx, cubana and co. I don't even want to think of it. tufiakwa
Above all...no more beer!
Re: See How Nigeria Will Be Like If Made An Islamic State by Evidence1000(m): 6:35am On Mar 08, 2016
Gbam! OP, you've just said the minds of the majority. Islamizing Nigeria would be hell. But why would Buhari even think of such? Nigeria is a very large country with different ethnic groups, religion, people, mentalities, beliefs, etc. That would not favour us in any way. I still miss the government of Jonathan.

3 Likes

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