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Even if this was meant to be a joke, I still have to say this;
No matter how much you think you have failed, no matter the circumstances life has strewn around you. It's still not worth taking what doesn't belong to you in the first place. We have all been equipped with the resources to handle life's toughest challenges, we only need to locate it nd draw strength from our innermost mind.
You really have to decide to face life cos there is only a limit to how she can drag you on.
Do not be selfish, think about the people who love ypu

do u have good (real and true) friends because from the look of things u appear to be a loner

Bro, you should stop playing Enya. Listen to Lil Kesh and thank God for your life.

Aviero:
Bro, you should stop playing Enya. Listen to Lil Kesh and thank God for your life.

Lol. You took that out of my mouth...pls brother,u are already sad so please stay off Enya songs for now and don't be too hard on yourself.
You are not a failure till u quit trying. Think of your mum. Think of her struggle over the years. There's nothing you have passed through others didn't go through before u,the only difference is determination. If you quit now then u r selfish and indeed a failure but if u hold on, God will be your strength and there's light at the end of the tunnel...Even cultists change...move closer to God nothing is impossible with God@ OP