Dates are the best, except for when they're the worst. In fact, there's nothing like sitting through an entire meal or dumb activity to make you wish you'd followed your gut and stayed back home (where no one can terrorize you with an hour of awkward personal conversation). In truly dire date times, you could always just look your date in the eye, and be a polite and honest person, and say, "Look, this just isn't working for me and I'm gonna go home, but have a nice night!" But if you're like me and can't even imagine that sort of confrontation with a near-stranger, you can instead use a sneaky tactic to worm your way out, so they don't even realize you've left until you're safely back home, alone, just like you like it.

1. Put a twist on the classic "My friend just called and there's been an emergency" move by having a friend stage an actual emergency call. Don't make this anything too alarming because it would be the biggest annoyance ever. Just cook up an emergency enough to pull you away from your bad date (surprisingly it might even make you seem like a hero).

2. Better yet, have two friends come to the same restaurant and stage a breakup so dramatic you have to leave with her immediately. Bonus points if one of them throws a drink in the other's face (commit to your roles). Not only is this a total mood killer, but if your date honestly asks you to stay after witnessing such a gruesome breakup, they're definitely a sociopath and you shouldn't be out with them anyway.

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