i need mature advice please.
I have been in a relationship with a guy for 2 years now. When we met, he works with a construction company owned by his uncle and lives with family,while i work with an organisation in the town where we both live. We love each other no doubt . The project his coy was working ended like a year into the relationship and since then the relationship has been rocky, i am a go-getter and highly driven individual and i expect him to search for other jobs but he keeps saying he cant work for anyone and will like to do business. I recently got another high paying developmental job in another state and i have to relocate. I am not a materialistic person but i like someone who strive for excellence no matter your beginning, it has been 2 months of fights, i have severally explained to him that it is not about him being broke but the drive not to get rich that is the problem but he just cant understand that. I am thinking of quitting the relationship but some people said i am not patient enough and things can still get better but i am 28 years old and i am not sure this guy can embrace my dreams and aspirations also he still lives with family till date.
Please am i doing anything wrong?

Are you doing anything wrong? ..Do you need to be told?

The guy is simply not desperate. He prolly knows where he's going and how to get there, but you want to push him over the edge.

You're independent, he's working towards it.. Tell me why you can't work together to make progress?

**Modified**

iPrevail:
Are you doing anything wrong? ..Do you need to be told?

The guy is simply not desperate. He prolly knows where he's going and how to get there, but you want to push him over the edge.

You're independent, he's working towards it.. Tell me why you can't work together to make progress?

If you're that desperate for a rich spouse please just quit the relationship already.. there are lots of rich dudes out there that would gleefully f*** the sh** out of you and place you where you deserve since love don't mean that much to you.

Pardon my language.

Did you even read what she wrote? You're reasoning like that boyfriend of hers exactly

Hey sis, you're not doing anything wrong. Infact you have taken the right decision. The good thing is you're independent already so his money is not the issue but his drive to achieve greatness. At 28, there's no time to keep messing around with someone who doesn't even want to start from somewhere no matter how little. How long is he going to remain that way? What if that business he dreams of doesn't kick off in time?
Does getting a job first stop him from starting his business?

I know someone who got married to exactly this kinda guy...he lost his job, and he hasn't settled for anything else since then. She has been the one taking care of the whole family for 5yrs now.

Move on dear. You're not doing anything wrong..it only shows you know what you want.

layla129:


Did you even read what she wrote? You're reasoning like that boyfriend of hers exactly

No I didn't. I had someone read it to me but she wasn't loud enough

I think she's pushing him too hard tho. Up to the extent that they're even fighting over it sef.
In a relationship there's no sitting on the fence, it's either you're in or out. It has gotten to that point where she's got to chose.

iPrevail:


No I didn't. I had someone read it to me but she wasn't loud enough

I think she's pushing him too hard tho. Up to the extent that they're even fighting over it sef.
In a relationship there's no sitting on the fence, it's either you're in or out. It has gotten to that point where she's got to chose.

Pushing him too hard at that age? I'm sure he's older than her and still lives with his parents and you say she's pushing him too hard?
I don't see how she's sitting on the fence either...she's already making her decision

iPrevail:
Are you doing anything wrong? ..Do you need to be told?
The guy is simply not desperate. He prolly knows where he's going and how to get there, but you want to push him over the edge.
You're independent, he's working towards it.. Tell me why you can't work together to make progress?
**Modified**

You have no idea what it means to be in this kind of relationship,i cant comprehend someone still on bed by 8:00am in this day and age in the name of taking it slow....like seriously?....i have tried my best and it has been one year and try working together with someone who believes his methods are always the best.

layla129:


Pushing him too hard at that age? I'm sure he's older than her and still lives with his parents and you say she's pushing him too hard?
I don't see how she's sitting on the fence either...she's already making her decision

how hard can u push a man laying down anyway?...thanks for understanding

Pls dear look for someone more driven, someone who knows what he wants and goes after it, not someone who sleeps all day while his mate n those not up to his age are hustling, someone still waiting for manner to drop, someone who believes just by sitting at home all day doing nothing will make him rich...shm.....

And u aint growing any younger, this same people telling u to stay will be the same people asking when are u getting married in a year or two's time.

Toosine:
i need mature advice please.
I have been in a relationship with a guy for 2 years now. When we met, he works with a construction company owned by his uncle and lives with family,while i work with an organisation in the town where we both live. We love each other no doubt . The project his coy was working ended like a year into the relationship and since then the relationship has been rocky, i am a go-getter and highly driven individual and i expect him to search for other jobs but he keeps saying he cant work for anyone and will like to do business. I recently got another high paying developmental job in another state and i have to relocate. I am not a materialistic person but i like someone who strive for excellence no matter your beginning, it has been 2 months of fights, i have severally explained to him that it is not about him being broke but the drive not to get rich that is the problem but he just cant understand that. I am thinking of quitting the relationship but some people said i am not patient enough and things can still get better but i am 28 years old and i am not sure this guy can embrace my dreams and aspirations also he still lives with family till date.
Please am i doing anything wrong?

It seems you are the favourable type when it comes to job hunts...why not fix him up with a job...i.e, secretly link him up to a job and if he still refuses to understand that the economy of nigeria is not friendly with anybody, then let him also know that we are in a longer day and shorter night, and hence, time waits for nobody, then move on...i love ladies like you who are selfly motivated and independent...keep the spirit alive bebe

firstking01:
It seems you are the favourable type when it comes to job hunts...why not fix him up with a job...i.e, secretly link him up to a job and if he still refuses to understand that the economy of nigeria is not friendly with anybody, then let him also know that we are in a longer day and shorter night, and hence, time waits for nobody, then move on...i love ladies like you who are selfly motivated and independent...keep the spirit alive bebe

I have tried that but he simply don't want to work for anybody. It is so frustrating

honeysplash:

I have tried that but he simply don't want to work for anybody. It is so frustrating

Then let him know you are keeping your options open

Runnnnnnnn.... let your heels touch the back of your heads... if all you say is true... but if he is SERIOUSLY trying to get on his feet... maybe has started a little biznes or has plans to... den support him. no time for lazy man...

layla129:
Hey sis, you're not doing anything wrong. Infact you have taken the right decision. The good thing is you're independent already so his money is not the issue but his drive to achieve greatness. At 28, there's no time to keep messing around with someone who doesn't even want to start from somewhere no matter how little. How long is he going to remain that way? What if that business he dreams of doesn't kick off in time?
Does getting a job first stop him from starting his business?

I know someone who got married to exactly this kinda guy...he lost his job, and he hasn't settled for anything else since then. She has been the one taking care of the whole family for 5yrs now.

Move on dear. You're not doing anything wrong..it only shows you know what you want.

I CONCUR

My bible says that if your eyes is going to send you to hell pluck it off and am telling you if anything or anybody should connect you to poverty cut them off. Forget what people are saying about your age and go work please remember to dump his lazy ass while leaving him cause he is your direct link to poverty