Hello all,

Edited 27/06/16 : IMPORTANT NOTE TO THREAD VIEWERS AND READERS

[b]Philosophical and psychological subject matters are presented in a manner that escape usual comprehension. I have come to realize doing my research that this is not an intentional act. The more "we" try to explain findings with plain words, the more we get twisted in the thorns of abrupt word usage.

That is why comparative and analogy approach and at some instance examples comes to play to properly drive our point.

Don't blame these folks. They are not aiming to be enthroned in the seat of caeser and to exhibit a sense of braggardocio.

But I am encouraged since some friends and family members have benefited from my little knowing.

I will continue to strive to pass my point to the best of my ability

This field (philosophy and psychology) of study has been abandoned for the past few centuries, and I think because of how our generation has distant itself from it, we find it difficult to assimilate its real meaning.

The whole writeup is not expected to be absolved at a sitting. These branch of studies is a tool we are using and will still use on our dying bed. Its tools help our art of living. Honestly, one of the onerous task is to study oneself. But the reward is worthwhile

The thread was not created to gain popularity but rather to call the few to come to the understanding of life using the tools proposed in this thread.

The thread aims to talk on philosophy of love, art of living and happyness. It is right time we see some of these threads on Nairaland. Life is about balance.

Shalom..[/b]

I am glad I am finally taking this bold step to understudy a theme I find very interesting and thought provoking. Please not I don't have a psychology background but I have always love this particular field and presently exploring its endless possibilities. My aim is to look at the subject happyness from a behavioral perspective and see whether there is a general model which can be adopted to reaching this goal.

So why this subject in the Romance section?

From my study so far, for both male and female, the age bracket where an individual start searching for the true meaning of happiness lies between 15-40 years of age. Is this not a fallacy of hasty conclusion? well, not really. This statement does not imply that people that did not fall into this category, have lost hope or are not presently happy. I will explain further with age group not in the set.

Age Group: 0-14

For individuals in this spectrum, I will say there is a like a thin-film covering over their knowing as it pertains to happiness. If for example, a young lady(not yet tested the pool of dating) in this young bracket feels a field of happiness around her due to the happy and healthy lifestyle of her parents, she makes no effort to really dig deep on the meaning of happyness. So she assumes this status quo is here to stay.

On the other hand, a lady in the same age bracket, growing up to witness the violence and mistrust within her family, she may also assume that is the way life is and may go an extra mile to affirm within herself that its better to stay single than burn in the chapel called marriage. Please note, she is yet to meet that person that will turn her perception around.

I called this obstruction a "thin-film" because sooner or later, it will yield to the thrusting of life events and thereby give way like the red sea. But for now, they have to live with this notion, this present "status-quo".

Age Group: 40-upward

What is there to search again talkless of define? This set of people have been tossed around by the tumultuous wave of life. whether Life events either favor them or not, they will likely "give-up" on what life throws to them. But there is an exception for some of the ladies, which I am yet to get my head around. A 50 year old woman that is either a divorcee or widow, still have a dim light waiting to be fanned to a full "conflagration of happiness".

Now, why Romance section? Because, Most people here are in search of the elixir called happyness which cures all life illnesses.

Another reason for the study:

To collectively reason out this area of life and use necessary resources to both validate and invalidate myth, facts and notion about happyness. The main tool will be the psychology especially the behavioral aspect of it. others are philosophy and spiritual. Famous authors and thoughts in this various field will help dissect our claims.

I hope this thread will yield "edible" fruits. lol. I call on minds, thinkers and explorers to help do justice.

I forgot to state, "The foundation of happyness is LOVE" (I cor 13)

About me: As we tag along we will know each other better. I see myself as a christian mystic (don't run away, I just appreciate St. John of the cross works and madame guyon as well as John wesley: they are to an extent mystic), I love psychology especially behavioral aspect of it (considering a degree in it though I have a degree in another field), philosophy (especially the platonists and stoics views) and lastly, I love poetry (what better way to express your feeling in words, "crystalled" words.)

Remember, I am here to learn first. But I have to start by dishing out the little I know.

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content. Helen Keller

In a usual report or article or writeup, it is ideal to introduce the subject matter for better assimilation and also answer some fundamental question or at least try to comprehend the nature of these questions.

What is happyness?

Can one be fulfilled without being happy, or are both intertwined?

Is happyness absolute, or do we fan its furnace to keep it alive?

Is LOVE the foundation(corner piece) of happyness, or is there other "things" like say MONEY that can bring this feeling of happiness?

Is our personal legend rooted in happyness?

Can we feign the state of happyness?

Ok, there is lot of questions that will help us properly explore this subject matter but for now I don't believe this list is exhaustive. I will do my own part to touch on these points to the best of my ability.


Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer..... William S. Burroughs

What is happyness?

Happyness is that "aurora" feeling of joy because of what you presently have. It is being contented with what you have.

We humans bring in the vibes of negativity because we set unnecessary standard for ourselves. And it is so disheartening considering that this standard was set based on popular beliefs or what the society thinks.

A mother will inculcate an ideology of getting married to a wealthy man into the psyche of her daughter without defining the real meaning of being wealthy. Note, wealthy people live miserable sad life too.

A young man thinks he needs all the money in the world to have a happy marriage life.

These are few of the false perceptions society and even the family makes us to believe.

Let's take a look at an example:

A young man craves a beautiful face(nothing wrong with that) but unknowingly to him neglects a beautiful heart which is the core of a beautiful personality. He was blown away by the external. Our desires are mostly entangled with vain attachments, that is why when that young man succeed in "getting" the pretty faced lady, he feels more emptiness within, cos the core part is missing. The external is just a mere mirage for it fades with time (prov. 31:30).

He re-adjust his so called standard "higher" or "better" according to his reasoning and continue in this quagmire of fruitless outcome accompanied with grievous consequences.

From the above, his fault and generally human faults lies in one thing: REASONING - how we view things with pure intent.

So how do we re-orientate our mind?:

I will first approach it with the STOIC lens. This will usher me to stoicism.

I wrapped up this post with a quote from one of the greatest stoics, Epictetus

"Man is disturbed not by things, but by the views he takes of them"


Time for a good sleep. Hopefully, we will touch on Stoicism and its benefit to our reason.


Shalom.

Happiness is just the absenve of sadness and vice versa.

foolinlove:
Happiness is just the absenve of sadness and vice versa.

Definition using inverse psychology. A predominant technique of stoics and even religious bodies. Will visit this later.

It entails a little logic: If not A, then it is B.

Goodmorning All,

A beautiful chilling afternoon here. Do feel the gentle touch of nature breeze.

Ok, Let's take a look at REASON and STOICISM.

Your reasoning should be in agreement with first, God, second, Nature then Beings. "Beings" here implies all components around you, living (neighbors, animals) and "non-living" (mountains, seas) entities.

I believe the seas, deserts and mountains have Souls within them (Col 1:16). Our possibilities are limitless, if our thoughts are pure so has not to hinder anyone or anything. We can say our voyage is on a Positive Endless Possibilities (PEP) if we set our reasoning right. If I'm to quote vertibim from the book, A guide to the Good life - The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy by William B. Irvine, Seneca, who is a leading figure in stoicism, put it this way, that we need to use our reasoning ability to drive away "all that excites or affrights us". If we can do this, there will ensue "unbroken tranquility and enduring freedom", and we will experience "a boundless joy that is firm and unattenable".

This "boundless joy that is firm and unattenable is nothing more than, HAPPYNESS.

It should be on the record that the stoics always pay due reverence to God but at the same time makes us understand that God is "helpless" as it pertains to our free will. If God did not give us free will then we are nothing other than Programmed Robots.

From this premise, it can be deduced that our destiny lies in our own very hands, within us. You have the key to your own happiness and not a boyfriend, husband, girlfriend, wife or any other entity out there. We fail in this reason that is why so many people live in pretense and pain. You have every right to throw out the trash out the window if such entity or being obstructs your happyness.

Please I am not advocating divorce for the married but separation from an ill-fated relationship that is yet to be bound by the vows of marriage. As per unhealthy marriage and best approach to be taken, that will be expantiated later since it needs both the logical and spiritual telescope to properly veiw its depth.

For now we are looking at REASON and using STOICS views to help us better understand it.


I will be including simple-to-follow exercises so we can properly absolve the substances here rendered. Theorizing and not applying will tamper our growth and I am hoping that we will be a step closer to our El-Dorado.


Shalom.

All our knowledge begins with the senses, proceeds then to the understanding, and ends with reason. There is nothing higher than reason. Immanuel Kant

Now to the first exercise...

The exercises I will be dishing here are very effective if only one does it. Simple is Effective, trust me.

EXERCISE I

- Look yourself in the mirror and pay close attention to your eye ball OR you can close your eye and look inward, whichever you are comfortable with me.

Now answer these questions truthfully. NO PERSON can be so true to you except YOU. So please be blunt and honest with yourself if you want to progress well in the Journey of Happyness.

- Question 1: What is my purpose here(earth)?
-Question 2: What have I done to fulfil this very purpose, if you know it?
-Question 3: Am I presently happy?
-Question 4: Lastly, What if I end up not being happy?

Endeavor to spend at least 5 minutes on these questions. Some even spend a lifetime contemplating the above questions.

I call this exercise "Facing your inner self and fear".

Write your answers on the table of your heart and keep on reviewing your answers. You will be amazed the huge benefit of facing your inner fears, for there's nothing more courageous than that.

Don't gamble with life. Live life.....


Shalom...

Good afternnon all,

I hope the sabbath day was kept holy. Anyway, today's post will and should have a spiritual undertone but it will still have root on our theme of discussion.

If you recall, I stated earlier on, that the foundation of Happyness is LOVE. I will like to illustrate further on this fact at this junction. It is also very valid to state that LOVE also has a foundation.

The social media emphasize so much on the sensual aspect of love and fails to make us understand the root of Love. Publications like mills and boons and movies like Titanic and the Notebook project sensual and sexual love without letting us come to the knowledge that LOVE is not all sensual but far exceeds the sensual and sexual realm.

The sure foundation of LOVE is GOD and there is no two way about it. If one fails to comprehend this fact, one is bound for the rock which will lead to an inevitable shipwreck.

KNOW GOD, KNOW LOVE.... NO GOD, NO LOVE...

God is not complicated for GOD is plain LOVE. If you know GOD, you will have no fear of a failed relationship or marriage.
The church complicates th idea of GOD, no wonder they are so segmented and divided. Ask yourself, what will the present day church do to the adulterous woman caught in the very act? I believe you know what it is, based on what you see around.

1 John 4:17 says LOVE is of GOD

Why defile that young girl all because of your selfish will?
Why cheat on your spouse you took a vow with because of your transient sexual urge, that that spouse can try to satisfy?
Why leave that lady in the limbo of vain promises, knowing fully well you will not marry her? For her warmth is only your goal and not a heart union with her.

You do this and feel you deserve better. First, you offend God, second, your neighbours (wife, husband) and third, your very own self (Don't you know that you are the temple of GOD and that body is not yours to mess with)

When you truly love GOD, you will love your spouse for no other reason but for the love of GOD.

Marcus Aurelius, one of the greatest roman emperior and also a great Stoic, neglected the rumour of his unfaithful wife but loved her dearly still because of LOVE. Here is one of his quotes

Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart. Marcus Aurelius

Do your very best to love that woman/man and leave the rest to your maker. Loving her is an obligation, a commandment from the most high God and your very task is to stick to that mandate (Now you know why I don't condone Divorce for it is never a way to Happyness)

The moment you love your wife or husband simply because of God, you will be a happy man or woman. Please re-read the statement again to your inner mind.

I wrap it up with this

For what is your life? It is even a vapour that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away (James 4:14)


Shalom

Good afternoon all,

Recently, I have being cultivating the habit of showing appreciation to God, Nature and Beings.

First is TIME. I was formerly in career path that will leave me no time to reflect on the beauty of nature and God. But here am I, reading the books I am moved to read, listen to the music that add substance to my soul, pray God for His bountiful mercy at every giving time and learning a lot as it concerns Happyness.

Time is on my side. I am no longer scared that time is running faster than me. I have come to realize time was created for my being and not the other way round. TIME has whispered frequently to my hearing to greet the morning dew, acknowledge the soothing breeze and strive for Happyness. No hurry in life, It says, for it is all in our hands to pause time and start it when it is convenient for us.

Second is NATURE. Look at the incessant tears of the heavens doing both its good will on us and the crops. The rain has been so kind and not holding back anything from us. The breeze caresses our face than any lover could do. The sun is so elated that at times it goes beyond its boundary to please us .

Oh Nature. I thank you.

And Lastly, GOD. What better way to sum it up. God thought me reason, God thought me Love, God thought me to live a life of purpose. In short, I am nothingness without GOD.

My appreciation. Let the beings bear it in the records that I appreciate the good things of all.

When you write so much and end up saying so little, there's a communication problem. If you are writing for the average NLder, don't use bogus words (or unexplained jargons) else no one cares.

In layman terms, what's your point sir?

BTW, it's 'happiness'; 'i' not 'y'.

Oahray:
When you write so much and end up saying so little, there's a communication problem. If you are writing for the average NLder, don't use bogus words (or unexplained jargons) else no one cares.

In layman terms, what's your point sir?

BTW, it's 'happiness'; 'i' not 'y'.

Thank you for your criticism. My words are literal in a sense, if you look deeply. Some see poems as absurd and some see it has insightful.

I notice your very words "No one cares".

The moment you live for what people care about, you will remain unhappy. You can NEVER please everyone.

Do what you love as long at it please GOD, NATURE and BEINGS.

Shalom

Philosophical and psychological subject matters are presented in a manner that escape usual comprehension. I have come to realize doing my research that this is not an intentional act. The more "we" try to explain findings with plain words, the more we get twisted in the thorns of abrupt word usage.

That is why comparative and analogy approach and at some instance examples comes to play to properly drive our point.

Don't blame these folks. They are not aiming to be enthroned in the seat of caeser and to exhibit a sense of braggardocio.

But I am encouraged since some friends and family members have benefited from my little knowing.

This field (philosophy and psychology) of study has been abandoned for the past few centuries, and I think because of how our generation has distant itself from it, we find it difficult to assimilate its real meaning.

The whole writeup is not expected to be absolved at a sitting. These branch of studies is a tool we are using and will still use on our dying bed. Its tools help our art of living. Honestly, one of the onerous task is to study oneself. But the reward is worthwhile

The thread was not created to gain popularity but rather to call the few to come to the understanding of life using the tools proposed in this thread.

The thread aims to talk on philosophy of love, art of living and happyness. It is right time we see some of these threads on Nairaland. Life is about balance.

Shalom..

HAPPYNESS AND FULFILLMENT

The difference between these two can be likened to a shade of grey. That is to say they have close similarities.

But I intend to explain why fulfillment is very relative and happyness is absolute.

I say fulfillment is relative to different persons and here are my reasons. Everyone have individual "grail" to their fulfillment. Some believe having a beautiful house, beautiful wife, beautiful cars, in short everything beautiful brings them fulfillment. This point can be said to be valid because you did set the standard and can decide if such standard has been met.

On the other, Happiness is absolute. A man with a sleeping mat and plain bread as meal for the day can categotically state he is happy.

The point I am trying to make here is that Happyness can not be attached to an object but fulfillment can. If your happiness is tied to money or good things of life then it is not truly happiness because it can't exist alone.

So one can be fulfilled but not happy. Happyness transcend the usual strata we assume it to be. Happyness is eternal and should not in the real sense cease to exist even after our death. For it is eternal.

That is why we should look inward to see whether we are truly happy. If one can't properly explain happiness, how can one know when she has arrived at the destination of happiness.

That is why in my previous post, I tried my possible best to detach happiness from any object and further explain that its foundation is LOVE.

In summary, Happiness outlive our physical being while fulfillment cease even before we lie on our dying bed.


Shalom.

Happiness is Absolute, Yes ABSOLUTE! But....

There's always a but to such an issue that generates mixed reaction. Absolute here transcend our present life on earth. Meaning if you think all things in this temporal world will solidify the state of happiness in one's life then you are wrong.

Our real pursuit for happyness should NEVER be limited to this our visible sphere of living. I will always say that life is a dream and all of us are going to wake up to the reality sooner or later. You reading this now, could come face to face with reality in the next few hours. Guess what, NOBODY gets out alive in this life.

What can usher us to Reality? The answer is DEATH. Death is just a passage way and it never hurts according to recent discoveries. These discoveries tend to encourage the field of euthanasia. But we are not talking "mercy killing" here, afterall I don't condone it.

So why the talk about death and does it relate to Happyness?

Well, It does.

The moment you crave happiness as something eternal, that goes beyond this present life, it will be so easy to detached any object or entity as a means to your happiness because you know that object will die sooner or later while your state of mind remains even after this life.

For example, you love your wife so much but eventually death snatched her away. If your happiness is defined strictly in the world of your loving wife, we will not be wrong to say that death has snatched away your happiness. But this shouldn't be.

I have approach my discourse in this thread from STOICISM and the psychological point of view. But I will like to let you know, reason, though an effective tool that God gave to mankind, it can only go far in this temporal and transient world. Metaphysics of platonism as put forward by plotinus, made us come to the knowing that somethings transcend REASON.

So after REASON what can take us to the ABSOLUTE? The answer is FAITH

But where should our FAITH lie if we are to accept this conclusion?

Our next talk..

Regards

foolinlove:
Happiness is just the absenve of sadness and vice versa.

Where then do you place indifference?

obadizena:


Where then do you place indifference?

Indifference isn't a mood. It's an attitude.

Happyness is a state of mind. Indifference is setting the mind by our own ability. More or less as foolinlove pointed out, an attitude to something.

Can we enact happiness? Can we feign it's state ("attitudinize it" ). Yes we can. But what is more deceitful than a deceit to oneself.

Celebrities play the "happyness" role most time. This to be is the nadir of foolishness.

Why be in a state of mind that your psyche and soul is not in agreement with? At times is not the celebrities only. Some are in a futile relationship ending for the rock but they becloud their mind with false hope.

foolinlove:


Indifference isn't a mood. It's an attitude.

A person can be in an indifferent mood!

This thread started of with the "pursuit of happyness". And through the discourse, the foundation for such "fulfilling happyness" was fundamentally grounded on LOVE. We went further to highlight one major attribute of happyness which is its eternal state. For true happiness transcend the stratosphere of this very live: it outlive our mortal body.

It was further postulated that for one to take in the ideology of "eternal happyness", one have to see things beyond mere reason. This step that we take beyond mere reason is nothing else but FAITH.

The question now beckons "where should one faith lie"? . People may have different perspective on the right channel for our faith to evolve but there is only one viable channel.

This will take us to the subject matter of GOD.

Only faith can reach GOD. Reason can prepare our mind but lack "what it takes" to lead us to GOD. Remember, we are reaching GOD from our discourse because of our yearning for true and eternal happyness. Restating it so we won't lose focus.

Plotinus, a strong apologist of platonism did justice to the claim that reason is not enough to reach "The one". "The One" is God. Philosophy do well not to quantify or qualify "GOD".

I will approach this discourse by giving the answer then later give reason for the answer.

True Happiness is only found in Christ Jesus.

Do understand that Christ did not in anyway preach or promoted a religious movement. He gave down the rule (commandments) for true happiness. So I am also taking the stance of not prompting any movement.

I am Christ like that is why I am called a Christian. I am not a Christian because I go to a physical church and follow religious dogma.

Just want that point to be noted.

I have given the answer. By God's grace, I will approach things logically void of sentiment. Note I practice a philosophy of life for the time being known as STOICISM. Just for note.

Happy Sunday all.


Shalom