What do you think?

http://www.psychologies.co.uk/Couples-sex/Getting-together/Falling-in-love/Can-you-learn-to-love-anyone

there are several degrees of love, you can gain affection for someone,
and learn how to get on well with him /her through mutual knowledge, but if you're talking about love as in
falling in love then i think there is no way you can learn that. Its something that you feel or you don't feel,
that simple, it happens or it doesn't happen. The rest is just making yourself used to someone,
and appreciating that someone, but you can not force your self to love someone, it just happends


in others words, you can discover that you love someone
That possibly means that you have a world of people which you can accidentally discover
you are in love with! so, treat everyone with love in case you one day discover
that this person is someone you are in love with!

Love is a physical thing and also a choice. YES ,YOU CAN LEARN TO LOVE SOMEONE

Its difficult to say If I can learn to love someone. . .but I guess it isn't still impossible. . .

love like any other thing in life can be learned.

Love is not just a feeling, it is an action word.

It does not just happen, it is a choice we make and this means sometimes loving the seemingly unlovable person!

I think maybe its a bit of both. There has to be a bit of chemistry for it to work but you should also have similar values also for it to work in the long term. If you have similar values and respect that love grows deeper and deeper and if you don't they upset you and you lose respect for them so it diminishes you will lose respect for the guy and three years later once the chemicals in your brain wear off from lust, you think how could I have gone out with him.

Of course, I can learn to love someone; but you must note that love is a 50 - 50 thing; so if I'm to love a girl, it means that she must love me back the same way I love her. Any other way one chooses to love a girl apart from the one I listed above, would be classified as gambling because she might not feel the same way about you.

Sometimes you have to take a gamble cause if you don't you will regret it and wonder what if for the rest of your life.  Its better you gamble and you know then its clear and there is no regrets.

I definitely respect a man more who puts in an effort and who can stand up for one he loves than a man who doesn't even if it doesn't pay off the woman will respect that you made an effort and who knows she might be feeling unsure about the mans feelings too and not know what he really wants. She might not want to push herself onto him or be forceful I think men should always lead in these things. It just feels right somehow.

Yea you have a point there; but you know that there women who enjoy playing with men's emotions note: I'm speaking from experience here.

You can meet a lady today and make known your feelings unto her; and the lady, instead of giving you a reasonable response, begins to dribble you around; and the more you get involved with her, the more heartbreak you bring upon yourself. For me, I'd rather keep those feelings to myself than tangle myself in such heartbreaking situation all in the name of love.

CrazyMan:

Yea you have a point there; but you know that there women who enjoy playing with men's emotions note: I'm speaking from experience here.

You can meet a lady today and make known your feelings unto her; and the lady, instead of giving you a reasonable response, begins to dribble you around; and the more you get involved with her, the more heartbreak you bring upon yourself. For me, I'd rather keep those feelings to myself than tangle myself in such heartbreaking situation all in the name of love.

Thats true but you are never stupid for loving someone. You are a bit silly if you let them abuse you because you love them but not just for loving someone. Loving someone doesn't give them a licence or a right to abuse you, if they start abusing you, you leave and tell them why so they can change. Usually they will change and really regret it one day when they realised what they lost. Its better to try though than to live with regrets, usually you can tell a player and if she plays you then you end it.

I have learnt to love without accepting abuse its been a hard journey but you have to be strong and set clear boundaries of what is acceptable and what isn't.

I dont think You can learn to love someone,
You can discover that You love someone but You dont learn to love them.

There has to be an iota of likeness/ a dram of attraction . . . .
from there You can begin to discover Yourselves and gradually
Your r/s grows and love may set in. How the . . . .do I pick up
anybody I don't know from Eve and begin to LOVE him w/o any foundation?

I think it depends. It's great to have that natural love, but sometime it doesn't happen that way. Considering the fact that a lot of people have been single for a long time, or willing to take love even if it takes an effort. So yes you can learn to love someone, and if they love you back it's worth it.

So yes, u see a girl u like but she's not responding the way u want - it has to be her way or none!
What do u do? You friggin love her in a totally different way - the way she wants. . . For how long? well, until she starts to respond in a more accommodating manner - live with it or leave her for some easier catch!

FOR POSTERS WHO THINKS THAT LOVE IS JUST "A FEELING", LOVE IS NOT JUST "A FEFELING".
IT IS AN ACTION WORD PLEASE; NOT JUST WHAT YOU FE

I think you can learn to love someone. But you cant 'learn' to 'fall in love' with someone. And theres a difference.

I think you can learn to love someone and also learn to "fall in love with the person".

Im saying this from personal experience.

german007:

I think you can learn to love someone and also learn to "fall in love with the person".

Im saying this from personal experience.

If youre a guy sure, but for women, it doesnt apply.
Ive noticed a guy might not have feelings for a girl at first, but he can grow to fall in love with her.
A woman, if a woman doesnt 'fall in love' with you the day she meets you, she can only 'grow to love' you, but will never be in love with you.
From experience

Rosabelle:

If youre a guy sure, but for women, it doesnt apply.
Ive noticed a guy might not have feelings for a girl at first, but he can grow to fall in love with her.
A woman, if a woman doesnt 'fall in love' with you the day she meets you, she can only 'grow to love' you, but will never be in love with you.
From experience

Your right. She will learn to tolerate you but she will never fall in love with you. I have noticed that too amongst my friends and myself.

Hmm rosabelle.

I think you have made a great point there.

There is a saying that "Woman wey reject you once, go forever reject you", maybe its true.

I think its indeed different for a guy.      Il leak you into a man secret. "NOW I KNOW MANY GUYS WILL HATE ME FOR THIS", lol

 95% of we men on seeing a lady, have a lust instinct for her. We cant wait to lay her in the bedroom Its more of a physical thing. Now what sometime's happens is that same chic you saw and had serious lust for, you realise after you laid her that she is indeed a nice sweet caring person, "different from wat u thought she was".  You then start to see past the "big b))ty  or big bre)))st that gave u the initial lust.

Thats how the love aspect comes into play.

german007:

Hmm rosabelle.

I think you have made a great point there.

There is a saying that "Woman wey reject you once, go forever reject you", maybe its true.

I think its indeed different for a guy. Il leak you into a man secret. "NOW I KNOW MANY GUYS WILL HATE ME FOR THIS", lol

95% of we men on seeing a lady, have a lust instinct for her. We cant wait to lay her in the bedroom Its more of a physical thing. Now what sometime's happens is that same chic you saw and had serious lust for, you realise after you laid her that she is indeed a nice sweet caring person, "different from wat u thought she was". You then start to see past the "big b))ty or big bre)))st that gave u the initial lust.

Thats how the love aspect comes into play.

Yep. A friend has told me same. He says for men, the physical attraction is the deciding factor thatt leads to love eventually. We are from different planets you know. Men and women lol

Yes we definately are.

A lot of women will not get physical with a man of they dont have any sort of feelings for him.


With men, It doesnt really matter. We have a mentality of "a little escapade wont do no harm"

But beleive me sweetie that little escapade can turn out to be disastrous and ruin a relationship

It just aint worth it. Its best to stick to your's and be loyal to your's

Yumi:

I think maybe its a bit of both. There has to be a bit of chemistry for it to work but you should also have similar values also for it to work in the long term. If you have similar values and respect that love grows deeper and deeper and if you don't they upset you and you lose respect for them so it diminishes you will lose respect for the guy and three years later once the chemicals in your brain wear off from lust, you think how could I have gone out with him.

Yumi,u made a good point there.Fact is,u can actually learnt o love someone provided the person has certain values that u find appealing.But first,there gasto to be interest.U could know a person for long without really seing d person,but as soon as something just strikes(it could be a comment from that person or a gesture),u start taking note of dat person.And once u start developin' dat interest n d person turn out to be ur kind person,u just kick off from there.But fact is,d person has t have qualities u find appealing.

Maybe, but i think that's called the person growing on you, stilll it's risky,i think the appreciation is never really complete

german007:

I think you can learn to love someone and also learn to "fall in love with the person".

Im saying this from personal experience.

What's the difference between loving someone and being "in love" with someone?

@Luvbooks.

Interesting question, The easiest way to explain it is.

I can love you, love my lecturer, love my boss, love my neighbour, love my mum, love my driver, love my barber. but "im in love "with my partner

Well i think you can learn to appreciate someone and it can also lead to loving them

tope sef dey talk

ebila:

Yumi,u made a good point there.Fact is,u can actually learnt o love someone provided the person has certain values that u find appealing.But first,there gasto to be interest.U could know a person for long without really seing d person,but as soon as something just strikes(it could be a comment from that person or a gesture),u start taking note of dat person.And once u start developin' dat interest n d person turn out to be your kind person,u just kick off from there.But fact is,d person has t have qualities u find appealing.

thats true I suppose you could see inside their heart and it could touch your heart. See how good a character they really have and be attracted to that as you get to know them better.

Not to poison the air.But can we really love.Cuz i don't see myself being emotional.Or maybe it's cuz i haven't felt it like that.So i don't really believe in things am yet to encounter or feel.Not saying it doesn't exist.But i don't believe in it.

pc guru:

Not to poison the air.But can we really love.Cuz i don't see myself being emotional.Or maybe it's cuz i haven't felt it like that.So i don't really believe in things am yet to encounter or feel.Not saying it doesn't exist.But i don't believe in it.

I think we can, but I don't think happens often most people confuse convenience with love.  Loving someone for what they do for them and so on not for who they really are.  Most people wear  a mask anyway so you never see the real person until you dig a bit better and that can be difficult cause then you can uncover things you really probably would rather not know.   

Probably you haven't felt it yet, so its not something you believe in yet.  It may happen one day though a lot of what people call love is something they just use to manipulate each other. Love is built on mutual respect, that is a rare thing to find in most relationships as usually one party tries to use the emotions and love of the other person to control or manipulate the other, where mutual respect is present there is no need as noone infringes or abuses anyone so there is no need for control and manipulation.