A family friend's husband decided on his own to retire at 40 years. Before then his wife was a stay home mum, because they had two little children 6 and 8 that needed to be looked after. Just after his retirement, his wife got a very good job with a fat salary that can take care of the home while the man focuses on developing his business. Since his wife will be earning more than him at the moment his friends began to advice him not to allow her take on the job as she will later become proud and uncontrollable. This also meant that he (the husband) will be a 'STAY AT HOME DAD', as he would be taking care of the children, the house chores etc while the wife takes care of the finances. His friends are seriously advising him against it as he would be mocked and be called 'HOUSE HUSBAND' by people. Now he is confused. What would be your advice to him?

It totally depends on the relationship the man and his wife has at the moment and where they are seeing themselves in ten years to come....

The man should understand that he is not going to be a stay at home dad forever as he is developing his own business. (Now that makes the money from the wife useful... As he can use it as capital) ...

Before the man jumps into conclusion on the advise of his friends... He should first understand his wife... Is she a cultured and respectful woman.... Is she easily moved by money, anger or other emotions...v

And then the man should also understand himself.... Would he be able to live knowing that his wife is the breadwinner... Would his ego/pride allow him to survive on that....

Once all these questions are answered by the man himself..... I believe this problem can be solved...

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Essence6055:
It totally depends on the relationship the man and his wife has at the moment and where they are seeing themselves in ten years to come....

The man should understand that he is not going to be a stay at home dad forever as he is developing his own business. (Now that makes the money from the wife useful... As he can use it as capital) ...

Before the man jumps into conclusion on the advise of his friends... He should first understand his wife... Is she a cultured and respectful woman.... Is she easily moved by money, anger or other emotions...v

And then the man should also understand himself.... Would he be able to live knowing that his wife is the breadwinner... Would his ego/pride allow him to survive on that....

Once all these questions are answered by the man himself..... I believe this problem can be solved...

Kindly follow me and I will follow you

double post

i hope in the unfortunate event that his business is unsuccessful and/or doesnt do well - he will be able to count on those "friends" to pay his children fees, his house rent, build his personal house, feed his family, perform his responsibilities and that of his wife to their extended family members, change his and his wife's cars. Give his wife her monthly home allowance and monthly personal allowance.

Pay for their visits to the village, holiday trips with the family, recharge cards etc

If they decide to have more children, I hope the friends will foot the maternity bills and everything else.

Finally, as these "wonderful friends/advisers" of his are still around, i am sure the man should have no qualms sharing his wife's kitty with them seeing as they are her husband, by proxy. They make decisions regarding her home and the buffoon, sorry husband she married, is infact just the messenger

So after more than 8years of marriage, he still bring in friends into his marital issue. Let your wife be the best version of herself, no one forced him to retire. 6 and 8years are not babies as such, so I don't know what you are saying about being a house husband, abi the kids no dey go school?

byvan03:
So after more than 8years of marriage, he still bring in friends into his marital issue. Let your wife be the best version of herself, no one forced him to retire. 6 and 8years see not babies as such, so I don't know what you are saying about being a house husband, abi the kids no dey go school?

As in eh!

You have married someone for 8yrs + and still need your friends to validate the choices in your home.

Why didn't he consult his 'friends' before he retired? Abi what was/is his/their retirement plan?

@House-husband: Since he will be at home more, he will probably have to take care of most of the domestics and school runs.

bukatyne:


As in eh!

You have married someone for 8yrs + and still need your friends to validate the choices in your home.

Why didn't he consult his 'friends' before he retired? Abi what was/is his/their retirement plan?

@House-husband: Since he will be at home more, he will probably have to take care of most of the domestics and school runs.

If he doesn't do chores, no one will take him to court. I just don't see the issue here. A man that reasons like this is unlikely to do chores, most don't do chores anyway in this part of the world.

byvan03:



If he doesn't do chores, no one will take him to court. I just don't see the issue here. A man that reasons like this is unlikely to do chores, most don't do chores anyway in this part of the world.

Well, na him sabi.

Dream killer husband

yea. it was not done intentionally. my bad. sorry.

keepingmum:
double post

space booked

this land is not for sale

bukatyne:

Well, na him sabi.
Dream killer husband

Essence6055:
It totally depends on the relationship the man and his wife has at the moment and where they are seeing themselves in ten years to come....

The man should understand that he is not going to be a stay at home dad forever as he is developing his own business. (Now that makes the money from the wife useful... As he can use it as capital) ...

Before the man jumps into conclusion on the advise of his friends... He should first understand his wife... Is she a cultured and respectful woman.... Is she easily moved by money, anger or other emotions...v

And then the man should also understand himself.... Would he be able to live knowing that his wife is the breadwinner... Would his ego/pride allow him to survive on that....

Once all these questions are answered by the man himself..... I believe this problem can be solved...

Kindly follow me and I will follow you

op said nothing abt the hubby developing any business . he's retiring meaning he won't be working

The man is not serious.

Apparently, his earnings aren't enough to cater for the family, and he's busy saying he wants to prevent his wife from working.

I don't like men who rely on their friends' advice as usually those friends will give advice they can't take themselves.

Meanwhile, there's nothing wrong in being a house husband/ stay at home dad.
The times are changing and the earning power of women is increasing dramatically.

Wives are beginning to earn more than husbands.

Husbands are not bringing in enough money for the running of the homes again, so every extra kobo counts.

If wife is earning far more than husband, it only makes sense she keeps her job or business.

So if his wife is going to be making a lot more money than him, what's wrong if he takes on The house chores? Does he consider those to be subhuman activities? If yes why was he fine with his wife doing them all those years he was working. So she's not a human being.

Let me guess, he takes care of the kids, keeps the home clean and his balls shrink back into his abdomen.


Retro dudes and their problems. Things they do when they are by themselves suddenly become demeaning when they have a wife. How loving and caring of them.

Op.I would sugest that the husband should start a side business cos a man who retires at 40 at this time is a well to do man.
And he should allow the wife to work.
House husband is a no no for me.

Wow, what a selfish world, post like this make me wonder, so a woman isn't allowed to pursue a career because she will be earning more than husband and also because it's "improper" for a man to take care of his own kids, his own blood. After all he opted to retire at 40 and in my opinion, the woman whom I will say is a wise woman decided to take up something to help herself to be independent and also to help the family. Why some friends nor dey stay for their own financial lane? And is it expensive to mind your business? The man might initially not have issues with it but because of the amebos,he will be thinking otherwise and then if he isn't careful, it will cause a rift between them, That's why I like my life private.

Why should he even discuss family matters with his friends? That's too much details given out. Smh

keepingmum:
i hope in the unfortunate event that his business is unsuccessful and/or doesnt do well - he will be able to count on those "friends" to pay his children fees, his house rent, build his personal house, feed his family, perform his responsibilities and that of his wife to their extended family members, change his and his wife's cars. Give his wife her monthly home allowance and monthly personal allowance.

Pay for their visits to the village, holiday trips with the family, recharge cards etc

If they decide to have more children, I hope the friends will foot the maternity bills and everything else.

Finally, as these "wonderful friends/advisers" of his are still around, i am sure the man should have no qualms sharing his wife's kitty with them seeing as they are her husband, by proxy. They make decisions regarding her home and the buffoon, sorry husband she married, is infact just the messenger

Gbam!!!

The man lacks maturity he is too old for this na

How does one choose to retire when he doesn't have a solid backup financial plan?
I understand wanting to grow a business. But how does one quit a job when his business hasn't thrived to a point of paying him what he earns from his job?
.
Or is the wife's job the backup plan?
So if the wife doesn't take up this job, they'll starve?
.
Who are these friends by the way?

a confused person can't never be advised! let him sit and do whatever he wants ND tk responsibility 4 his actions afterwards!