Tomorrow's Headlines: Naija Social Media Takes Up Arms As Pastor E. Adeboye 'Reportedly' Pronounces Dos and Don'ts For Marriage. 》"How. Dare. He?", Upcoming music group, The Beard Gang retorts. 》"He wasn't even talking to you", Redeemers fire back. 》Jobless men stage a three-day protest. "We sef deserve to marry", spokesman, Mr. Uzor fumes. 》Association of Angry Nigerian Women issue formal statement. The National Secretary, who dared anyone to print her name and see the outcome, presented the suspiciously short statement. "On the matter of cooking, cleaning and WarRoom-ing, we say Go to Hell", she read. In totally unrelated news, Dear God, while I'm waiting out this particularly intense storm, I'll have you know that I am tired. Simply tired. Tired of this country. T.I.R.E.D. Whatever grave sin I committed to have to wake up to this mess everyday, please forgive me. Just make it go away.