C

Is this not the Nigerian who masquerades as a white woman to bash fellow blacks?
All the proof you need is already in your write up. Try and read it from a third person view and you can personally advice yourself what to do.
Nowhere in the world do men of any race call sisters "baby" and vice versa. You're his indigenous girlfriend keeping him occupied till he goes back home. His plan is to get whatever he's doing in the country over with and head back home to settle with his "sister".
Next time ask for a three-way phone discussion or better yet a skype call between him, you and his sister; only then can it finally dawn on you the relationship they both share. Do not accept any excuse he gives why he can't do it. Make three-way discussions a habit whenever his "sister" calls, the truth would sink in eventually.

c

whiteflower:

To be honest I don't want to talk to her

You should if you love the man and want him all to yourself.

He wants me to come off contraception but he can't offer me any thing but when I say that he gets angry and says it takes 9 months for baby to come but shouldn't he have a home ready for me before getting pregnant

He obviously wants your child so he can return to the UK freely. His time is running out. If you hold up longer he would eventually get deported. Dude's probably a Nigerian dodging Home Office but still managing to live a regular life. Check his immigration status.

C

whiteflower:


Yes I love him and want him to myself but I dont know how to do it he seems obsessed with his sister

She is his future wife and mother to his kids. Wouldn't surprise me to find out they are already engaged.

He works so how would he be dodging home office

At 30 one would expect you already know the UK system is beatable, Nigerians/Jamaicans/Indians/Pakistanis do it all the time.

You saying he is using me ?

You already know this. It's why you're here.

He says he loves me?

For the meantime. However you share no future with him, unless maybe a mixed race kid or two if you eventually give in to his demands.

C

My opinion: I think his "sister" is actually his girlfriend. And he has brainwashed his sister/girlfriend into believing that his deceiving you for something.

You need solid proof that she is actually his sister and not his girlfriend/wife.

It is extremely rare to see a Nigerian man that calls his sister baby...

C

whiteflower:


Deceiving me for what?
How will I get solid proof ?
It's hard for me to walk away even though I know I should
But I want answers
Why is it rare? he thinks it's normal
I hate it as he calls me baby , he also calls her princess
How do I confront him about it can I talk to one of his Nigerian friends and maybe they can talk to him to make him realise what he is doing is not right

calling her baby or princess is not bad....my brother do call me that,even when am with his GF.sit him down and ask him why he call his sister"baby"don't yell at him...he will tell you........my brother calls me baby because am more closer to him than any other thing.

whiteflower:


He has not got any children

Don't take our advice and your kids and her's would become half siblings. Think you can't handle her now? Imagine how you'd feel then.

Why has he chosen me?

It takes a certain type of woman to defend him no matter what he does. He picked well.

If he just wanted to come and go when he likes in uk why has it taken him ten years he could of found any girl to do that

Easy for most women to say. Not easy to put into practice. Most UK citizens are very critical when it comes to dating and only a few white people (of British origin) give black foreigners a chance. Situations like this a strong reason why.

and if his sister is his wife or girlfriend why would she put up with him having a gf in uk and even put her on the phone to me

To her you're keeping him warm from the English weather. She'd endure with the situation knowing it would soon pass. To her you're only a means to an end (a residency permit which would fast track a future spouse visa). This is a very common thing here. I suggest you make some Nigerian friends (not black Brits) and ask them the possibility.
It would shock you what they'd disclose.

C

whiteflower:

So without me she can't come ? Yes I have not come across any Nigerians but the Africans I have spoken with say that to me as well part of me wants to walk away but part of me wants to get to the bottom of this situation
Is your advice from a Nigerians perspective or have you witnesses this happen yourself
Also if he been here ten year you saying he waiting for the right girl to do this to ie. Me
Also the foreign Africans I have spoken with he tells me not to speak with them he says they fill your head with lies
In your opinion he don't love me at all? I want to believe he does but all the evidence is weighing heavy against the fact he is lieing to me

There is nothing I can type down which would change your love for him. I'm beginning to think you secretly enjoy the competition for his affection.
My final and only advice to you is to befriend his 'sister' as only then would you finally come to a conclusion on their relationship. Collect her number from his phone, call her up once in a while and always encourage him to do three way calls. If you claim it's an awkward situation you are not ready to begin then stay quiet while your nursing suspicions grow.

I'm out of this discussion. Hopefully somebody else frames a solution in a way you would choose to follow.