We all know our dear country Nigeria is facing 'recession' and one way or the other it has affected all of us, let us share some of the changes we had to make to survive the recession. Mine are -------

1)Fuel conservation---No more 'fulltime' Ac while driving, i only use Ac in my car in traffic or when carrying "important" people e.g My oga, mother, or 'special babe' (I know some of you will argue that turning off the Ac doesnt conserve fuel but i still prefer to try)

2) Home cooking--- I had to cut down 'fine dining' and subsidize it with cooking indomie at home or sometimes buy soup outside and make rice, i have been living alone for more than three years but i only launched my 'decorative' gas cooker when the recession hit

3) No more "take one bottle for my head ooo"! Nowadays i drink at home or drink in hidden bars where i dont know anybody and nobody knows me

4) No more "baba for the girls" because it involves 'thanks for coming' and any Portharcourt 'correct' guy knows that starts from "15 thousand naira" upward. Its either i call in 'old favors', hook up with a considerate ex or toast patiently like the average guy

5) All contracts with foreign sidechics on retainer has been terminated until "aunty dollarpo" and "mama Charlie" come down

6) I had to do all the papers for my cars and renew my drivers license because no more "Oga the boys at the checkpoint are loyal no need to check you" these days i insist on being checked so i dont do "officer take for coke", if you calculate #200-#500 twice a day for a month, its not childs play money

7) Seasonal movie is the new "bae" and dstv "full package" is the devil

Owambe attendance cut by 50%, i only attend owambes of very vital people and i try to avoid the dance floor and giving of my name to the performing artiste, i refused to be carried away and spray one months hardwork on the dancefloor

9) I dont know if its the recession or maybe i just suddenly became allergic to very 'loud music' but club attendance dropped drastically

10) Bye bye drycleanner and Hello washing machine!!!

This is interesting. so this recession is real?

So hilarious!