PROF. NIYI OSUNDARE HAS DONE IT AGAIN WITH HIS CLASSIC POETRY INTERVENTION AS THE PUTRID SMELL OOZES OUT FROM THE NATION'S JUSTICE TEMPLE.

WITH THIS BUFFET FROM AN ILLUSTRIOUS SWORDSMITH, MY DAY IS MADE.
HAPPY READING:

My Lord, Tell me Where to Keep your Bribe.

A poem by Prof. Niyi Osundare.

My Lord
Please tell me where to keep your bribe?

Do I drop it in your venerable chambers

Or carry the heavy booty to your immaculate mansion



Shall I bury it in the capacious water tank

In your well laundered backyard

Or will it breathe better in the septic tank

Since money can deodorize the smelliest crime



Shall I haul it up the attic

Between the ceiling and your lofty roof

Or shall I conjure the walls to open up

And swallow this sudden bounty from your honest labour



Shall I give a billion to each of your paramours

The black, the light, the Fanta-yellow

They will surely know how to keep the loot

In places too remote for the sniffing dog



Or shall I use the particulars

Of your anonymous maidservants and manservants

With their names on overflowing bank accounts

While they famish like ownerless dogs



Shall I haul it all to your village

In the valley behind seven mountains

Where potholes swallow up the hugest jeep

And Penury leaves a scar on every house



My Lord

It will take the fastest machine

Many, many days to count this booty; and lucky bank bosses

May help themselves to a fraction of the loot



My Lord

Tell me where to keep your bribe?



My Lord

Tell me where to keep your bribe?



The “last hope of the common man”

Has become the last bastion of the criminally rich

A terrible plague bestrides the land

Besieged by rapacious judges and venal lawyers



Behind the antiquated wig

And the slavish glove

The penguin gown and the obfuscating jargon

Is a rot and riot whose stench is choking the lands



Behind the rituals and roted rigmaroles

Old antics connive with new tricks

Behind the prim-and-proper costumes of masquerades

Corruption stands, naked, in its insolent impunity



For sale to the highest bidder

Interlocutory and perpetual injunctions

Opulent criminals shop for pliant judges

Protect the criminal, enshrine the crime



And Election Petition Tribunals

Ah, bless those goldmines and bottomless booties!

Scoundrel vote-riggers romp to electoral victory

All hail our buyable Bench and conniving Bar



A million dollars in Their Lordship’s bedroom

A million euros in the parlor closet

Countless naira beneath the kitchen sink

Our courts are fast running out of Ghana-must-go’s*



The “Temple of Justice”

Is broken in every brick

The roof is roundly perforated

By termites of graft



My Lord

Tell me where to keep your bribe?



Judges doze in the courtroom

Having spent all night, counting money and various “gifts”

And the Chief Justice looks on with tired eyes

As Corruption usurps his gavel.



Crime pays in this country

Corruption has its handsome rewards

Just one judgement sold to the richest bidder

Will catapult Judge & Lawyer to the Billionaires’ Club



The Law, they say, is an ass

Sometimes fast, sometimes slow

But the Law in Nigeria is a vulture

Fat on the cash-and-carry carrion of murdered Conscience



Won gb’ebi f’alare

Won gb’are f’elebi**

They kill our trust in the common good

These Monsters of Mammon in their garish gowns



Unhappy the land

Where jobbers are judges

Where Impunity walks the streets

Like a large, invincible Demon



Come Sunday, they troop to the church

Friday, they mouth their mantra in pious mosques

But they pervert Justice all week long

And dig us deeper into the hellish hole



Nigeria is a huge corpse

With milling maggots on its wretched hulk

They prey every day, they prey every night

For the endless decomposition of our common soul



My Most Honourable Lord

Just tell me where to keep your bribe.



* Large, extremely tough bags used for carrying heavy cash in Nigeria



** They declare the innocent guilty

They pronounce the guilty innocent

Good.

This actually tells us the Nigeria situation

Good

Shall I book this space in case this gets to front page?

buhari,his ministers nd the judges,need to sêe and read this.at least,maybe they can repent.

Excellent excellent excellent.Let it be published in all newspapers in Nigeria and paste it at the entrance of all the courts. In Nigeria.
Imagine. an election tribunals. and Appeal Courts cancelling ellection.but supreme court upturns the decision My questions are. Are. the judges in tribunals and Appeal courts carpenters or unlearned men.?.What makes the judges at supreme superior or are they not reading the same law books as judges in Appeal court?