My friend (4m childhood) 28 an engineer dosnt know his father till now. He has been having this bad sentiment in his heart right from our sec. sch ages. He has never heared from his mom or anybody in the family talk about his father not even the outsiders, but one thing he believed is that, since he is not Jesus, someone must have slept with his mother that route him into this world. We both hail 4m the same village "now his maternal home" somewhere in Abia State and Igbos with burly culture, he may not be respected so much in the family as illegitimate child in the family and he dont know how to confront his single mother about this, thats y he keep bothering me on what to do, how to garther momentum to this hassle situation. Am now asking the good people of NL, what will i tell this guy. He is in emotional pain and garnishing in agony cuz he is fully matured to get marry.

@Dr Sweet,
Mom, who's my father? Tell me now or i'll kill myself!(works in the movies)

Thanks man, but remember this kind of action can not be easily implemented with clear eye espectially the mother u love

you need to act like a man. approach your mom and ask him "who is your father?". you need to be a man. if you can not do it, then who is going to do it for you. hit it boy!!!!!!!!!!!

Why should he search 4 a father that didnt bother to search 4 his son?
Dat is if d father is alive sef?
As 4 me, he should leave pandoras box alone & concentrate on being a father, himself.

Just be calm and talk to the mother with respect.
Mom . . . I am old enuf now to know who my father is, alive or dead, so talk to me.

DR. SWEET:

My friend . . . . is in emotional pain and garnishing in agony . . .

Abeg, na maggi abi na okporoko wey im take garnish am??  _{Really, i couldn't pass this one up (the seriousness of the post notwithstanding)}

Why asking for a father who doesn't care if you are in existence or not.
You should just beliv your father died when you were a baby and that's it.
If you mummy raised you to be this successful, I dont think you should make her unhappy by asking her that question,if she feels comfortable with it,she would have told you but one thing is sure,she will let you know b4 she dies.

rita@NL:

Why asking for a father who doesn't care if you are in existence or not.
You should just beliv your father died when you were a baby and that's it.
If you mummy raised you to be this successful, I dont think you should make her unhappy by asking her that question,if she feels comfortable with it,she would have told you but one thing is sure,she will let you know b4 she dies.

Well said, but he has the right to know, and if he wanna know, the Mom shd let him know

ok

hmmmmm tough, it like opening an old wound

Any one can be a father, it takes a lot more to be a dad.
Tell your friend as difficult as this might sound, if his father wasnt keen enough to know him let alone be by him as he grew up, what really is the point stressing himself over it?

ok if he meets the man {assuming} eventually and he denies ever knowing you would that make his day?

Let him focus on his mum, every single day shes taken care of him, she created a miracle.single handedly.

It's wrong to conclude the father does not care about his existence. Who knows whether the mother has lied to the supposed father that the child died or his pregnancy was aborted. We are all making assumptions here. I think it's in order to want to find out who one's father is.

@ Poster, tell your friend to calmly approach his mum one evening when they are both in a relaxed mood, after he has poured words of admiration and appreciation on her for loving him and taking care of him to date, and gently tell him he wants to know who fathered him. Am sure the woman must have been expecting this. He should not expect a definite and positive response but let him ask first! Goodluck.

^^^^yeah my bad this should work, after telling the father the child died at child birth, or even better let her tell the chap in question that she told the father he was dead

Bastard ? I didn't say so

Abuzola:

Bastard ? I didn't say so

bastard ke?
easy oh

@poster
he should first let his mother know about how he feels and how much finding his biological father means to him. he should also let her know that not knowing is eating him inside out.
he should also let her know that in NO WAY he wants to replace her or to put someone else at her place but its more to fill that big gap in his mind.

the biological father might not be aware of his child but even if he did abandon the child back in the days, everyone can repent and therefore he should always get a second chance. its never too late to love someone.

sometimes fathers stay away for fear of disturbing the mental state of the child or just because they know the amount of wahala they might get from the baby mama and her family.

[/b]titilaelae[b] has given it to you gbam!
Best of luck to your friend

DR. SWEET:

My friend (4m childhood) 28 an engineer dosnt know his father till now. he may not be respected so much in the family as illegitimate child in the family and he dont know how to confront his single mother about this,

He is 28, his mum is still single? Is he her only child? or his siblings don't know their dad as well?

let him tell his mum dat he has finally met his dat, dat the man is a very good man and he cant wait to start living with him. the mum will be very curious and wuld be ready to tpour out her mind, but mind you the guy should be ready to act o!

If u no get that liver make u go take KAIKAI, AFATO, PARAGA,MONKEY TAIL, BEER WITH SMALL SMOKE if your brain carry am make u come waka go meet your mother make u ask am with the red eye wey u take come say "MAALE NA WHO BE MY PAALE! ", "WHERE MY PAALE DEY!"
The result go come out fast like fax message

If u no get that liver make u go take KAIKAI, AFATO, PARAGA,MONKEY TAIL, BEER WITH SMALL SMOKE if your brain carry am make u come waka go meet your mother make u ask am with the red eye wey u take come say "MAALE NA WHO BE MY PAALE! ", "WHERE MY PAALE DEY!"
The result go come out fast like fax message

Damoche is a clown!

Like i said earlier, just pretend u've met him. Act as if you hv even started receiving his calls, even in ur mums presence. Nobody will teach her b4 she starts disturbing you.

Isezuo,
U dey craze o. Na me be clown abi? When man talk say him no fit follow him mama talk una dey tell different kind thing. But if him mama see say my guy dey serious she sef go own up to the real fact. U dey mad o! Abeg go arrange the kaikai. monkey tail etc , You go see the end result fast fast.

Iranoladun:

As funny as Damoche's advice is I agree with him to some extent @Poster your friend need some stimulant or booster in order to build courage to have a heart-heart talk with his Mum. 

This is a 28years old who is still behaving like a teenager.  If the issue is such a big deal to him he should broach the subject when his mum is very happy.  A man is got to be a man!

Thamk u my sister! The guy no wan learn. E still dey behave like ignoramus.