My cousin Demola started dating Dolapo in 2011 when they were undergraduates at OAU. The two of them are now working. My cousin is in the manufacturing sector as Production Engineer while his girlfriend is an Accountant with the Federal government, they plan to get married in October this year. My cousin confided in me last week that he had observed that his girlfriend's mum has been sick since 2013 and that a lot of money has been expended on her to no avail. He said his girlfriend often fall sick from time to time and her dad would make it difficult for him to know the nature of the sickness, the girl would later be ok and mention only typhoid/enteritis to him. Now, Demola thought it's time to be more serious, therefore he resorted to prayers and serious investigations about the kind of secrecy with which her father conducts his family affairs especially the mum's sickness. He had their former housemaid's phone number, called her and even travelled down to Okenne to see her. It was the housemaid who opened the can of worms to him. The mum is mentally challenged, the mum's elder sister had earlier died of the same ailment, while Demola's girlfriend and her younger sister are also suffering from this same strange mental disorder which have defied treatments. It's like it runs in the mum's family. After his trip to Kogi, he engaged his girlfriend on the issue, not allowing her to know of his discreet journey to their former housemaid. The girl confirmed all the housemaid told him, she even told him more, told him she didn't know how he would react to the issue and that her father has spent fortunes on both orthodox, herbal and prayer remedies to no avail. She said her mum has even been flown to India once on the issue. Demola have since become devastated by the revelation, he does not know how to tell his parents who are presently pestering him to know when to visit his girlfriend's family. I feel so much for him, I don't really know how to advise him about a girl he loves so much.

We can't advice him. He has to talk to himself....its marriage we are taking about o. A life time thing.

Quit if you can't bear the burden.

Nothing to be devastated about

I feel pity for Demola too.
But I wonder what sort of mental challenge will Moe them fall sick at will.

That is really strange.

Oyind18:
Quit if you can't bear the burden.

Nothing to be devastated about

The dude is devastated because he's invested in the relationship.
You just don't jump in and out of a relationship like you presumed.
He has to Moe a soft landing for both parties if they can't carry on.
The way some people go about breakjnv up or rejection is amusing.
Such heartlessnes.
They only leave a long trail of bitterness and pain which may come back and hunt them.

It's his decision to take not our's
Does he love this girl so much that

he is ready to endure with the girl and spend his money on treating her when her craze start?
That is his decision to take
My own wahala Na garri were be 3cups 200naira so

That CURSE/SPELL in that family is boken IJN. Pls,dnt leave/abandon her cause of dis.God's still in the business of working MIRACLES///WONDERS.Pls,take her o hospital for medical check up/CCC(any church u like) darkness can't defeat light. And remember dis,it is in time of trouble/storm we knw the quality of friend. STAND WITH her

DLGUY:
I feel pity for Demola too.
But I wonder what sort of mental challenge will Moe them fall sick at will.

That is really strange.



The dude is devastated because he's invested in the relationship.
You just don't jump in and out of a relationship like you presumed.
He has to Moe a soft landing for both parties if they can't carry on.
The way some people go about breakjnv up or rejection is amusing.
Such heartlessnes.
They only leave a long trail of bitterness and pain which may come back and hunt them.

My dear it's not heartlessness

You are talking about a mental case which will also transfer to his unborn kids.. And this kind of thing might have been born to ancestral curse way back. Trust me no child wants to be mentally unstable cos both parents were not wise enough to place them in consideration.
He can marry her if he's feel it's wicked to breakup but please and please they should not have kids together.. For the childrens sake. Put future kids into consideration as well...no time for sentiments.

The truth is ? He should breakup with her.. Gradually but surely. Even God will understand cause generational curses is not easy to break.. It's one of the hardest with fake churches and mosques everywhere.

Is your friend ready to handle that problem all his life?

alexialin:





My dear it's not heartlessness

You are talking about a mental case which will also transfer to his unborn kids.. And this kind of thing might have been born to ancestral curse way back. Trust me no child wants to be mentally unstable cos both parents were not wise enough to place them in consideration.
He can marry her if he's feel it's wicked to breakup but please and please they should not have kids together.. For the childrens sake. Put future kids into consideration as well...no time for sentiments.

The truth is ? He should breakup with her.. Gradually but surely. Even God will understand

I understand.
A gradual break up is better.

There's a way you break up with someone and they wouldn't feel bitter about it.

I feel sorry for the guy tho', even for the lady.

DLGUY:


I understand.
A gradual break up is better.

There's a way you break up with someone and they wouldn't feel bitter about it.

I feel sorry for the guy tho', even for the lady.

Definitely a gradual breakup.

Even she herself will understand and go seek for solutions personally and privately elsewhere

It's a pity but there are situations we simply cannot help ourselves.

I know a man in Aguleri who can handle this by God's grace... Send me a mail.

The girl and father are wicked for hiding such illness from this guy. He should have been told so he can either walk away or deal with it with her.

Is it that the sickness never manifested all the time they were together? Just thinking out loud.pls iam not doubting your story. I know things like this happen. May God have mercy and heal this family.
Its actually a tough decision to make but remember marriage is for life.it is different from boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

The marriage act forbids people of unsound mind(insanity) from getting married.


OP It is best you bounce off

The name? You wrote a detailed post but chose to leave out the name...

I never knew mental illness is something someone can hide for years.

so Demola has been dating his girlfriend since 2011 and he never noticed any mental issues with her.

and then his girlfriend mental sickness comes like malaria comes once in a while, she goes home, treats it and she's back to normal again


Abeg tell me what mental illness is that?

Hmmm...unless your friend is willing to invest time, money and plenty efforts in the process of caring for the babe and the offsprings they might have together just like the babe's father is diing right now, let him find him fiance go front. It is well.

Joavid:
I never knew mental illness is something someone can hide for years.

so Demola has been dating his girlfriend since 2011 and he never noticed any mental issues with her.

and then his girlfriend mental sickness comes like malaria comes once in a while, she goes home, treats it and she's back to normal again


Abeg tell me what mental illness is that?

You need to visit a behavioural science (psychiatry) department/ward of a tertiary health institution. 95% of patients you're likely to meet behave like the regular normal human being you meet on a daily basis.

The few mentally ill ones you see naked on the streets are the unfortunate ones with no family or relative to take them to a clinic, or those who associate everything to demons.

The world has advanced beyond the idiotic attitudes of Nollywood where mentally ill individuals are left to do funny stuffs in a ward and on the streets. You will never see such in Hollywood. A lot of people you meet are on drugs..don't expect to see them nake.d, they are like every other patient in any hospital who after consistent medications get good treatment/or management.

Unlike HIV where a patient is expected to live on drugs forever, a mentally ill person (e.g. chronic depression) will only have to take drugs for max. a year or two! So depending on the nature of the illness, one can have mental challenges and still carry out day to day functions effectively without displaying any sign. Like I said earlier, the "m.a.d" men you see scattered all over the country can only be seen in Nigeria, being a third world country.

In fact, a secret you should know is that a significant number of Psychiatrists and psychiatry nurses in any hospital today are those who at some point had that challenge (may be while in medical school). Unless you're told, you will never know because they are enlightened, and rather than dance unclad in the streets or wait for the idioti.c third world Nollywood to call them m.a.d. men, they took prescribed medication.

as some people have rightly pointed out the ball lies in your cousin's court, perhaps lemme help you with options:

Continue with the relationship and be prepared for the challenges ahead both physically and spiritually

OR

Dis-Continue the relationship