Wow Diz Piece Got Me Laughing Real Hard Madam Bibi Pls When Will U Update I Have Been Waiting For An Update Since Days Ago,

ACT TWO
SCENE ONE
(End Time Church International: the church is located at the far end in the street, thechurch premises is quite spacious with the Church building at the left side, the Prophet's office at the right-hand side, the Pastors' quarters at the extreme end with a spacious parking lot.
Prophet Akadri, a lanky middle aged man, who is the founder/GO of the church, he is dressed in a well tailored yellow suit, humming a popular hymn as he arranges his file. There is a light knock on the door:

PROPHET AKADRI: Come in. (Jenny walks in, she is a fair woman in her mid twenties, she is tall and slim, one of the church 'big girls'. She is dressed in a very skimpy yellow sweatgown, high healed shoes and a yellow Gucci bag to match) Sister Jennifer! Have your seat. (He invites her into the chair opposite his table)

JENNY: Prophet, may your days be long. (Smiles ad she takes her seat)


PROPHET AKADRI: where have you been?

JENNY: Prophet, I went to Dubai last week.

PROPHET AKADRI: ...with Mr. Julius?

JENNY: No... No...no

PROPHET AKADRI: I saw your pics on his WhatsApp Dps

JENNY: Oh yeah... We... We... We actually met there coincidentally... Yeah (she smiles)

PROPHET AKADRI: (rises) Je...nny... You see...(moves towards the door and bolts it) You see, I really appreciate your efforts in taking this ministries to the promise land. You see... Most men in this church have been more fervent since you came into this ministry... Ladies like you help the church moves forward... You know.

JENNY: Sir... I... I don't understand... you.... Sir(adjusts her gown revealing more cleavages)

PROPHET AKADRI: You see, Jenny...(focuses more on her exposed cleavages) During my prayers last night, I had a vision that you need to have a prayer session in the church premises... You need spiritual cleansing and bathing and it is urgent... (Licks his lower lips)

JENNY: When should I start Sir... (Stands and adjust her gown)

PROPHET AKADRI: Right now.... Ehm... Go out and get lux soap and sponge from the spiritual shop

JENNY: Uhm...(looks down and notices the bulging in the Prophet's trousers, smiles to herself as she walks out.)

PROPHET AKADRI: Argh....(collapses on the sofa) God, help your son.( Dr. Sumonu enters without knocking, Prophet Akadri stands and adjust his trousers.) Doctor, good afternoon

DR. SUMONU: Good afternoon Prophet. May your day be long.

PROPHET AKADRI: How are you? I... I am in the middle of a prayer session when you came in...

DR. SUMONU: So sorry about that, Sir. I received a call from my brother in the UK.

PROPHET AKADRI: Yusuf?

DR. SUMONU: Yes. He said he needs spiritual water, oil and soap o... There is a business he wants to venture into and he needs prayers from you.

PROPHET AKADRI: What sorts of business if I may ask?

DR. SUMONU: ehm... Importing and exporting of some drugs from Nigeria into the UK.

PROPHET AKADRI: Drugs? From Nigeria? What sort of drugs is that o..

DR. SUMONU: (scratches his head) ehm... I ... Don't ...really know... But...

PROPHET AKADRI: (shrugs) No wahala... You know this is a special prayer request.... You know how we roll na... You have my account details, let him sow seed of one million naira into the Lord's vineyard... I'll go into special prayers because of him... Tell him to be fast about it because we are having a crusade in Benin very soon and I'll be too busy by then.

DR. SUMONU: One million sir? Daddy, please can't he sow five hundred ? You know how things are this days....

PROPHET AKADRI: Doctor, I'm in the middle of a prayer session... Is this a form of business to you? Why are you negotiating with God? A God who gives, does and takes... Maybe you can do the prayers yourself.(opens the Bible)

DR. SUMONU: I'm sorry if I sounded too rude... Ilk get back to you Sir. (Jenny walks in seductively and frozes on seeing Dr. Sumonu in the offices.)

JENNY : Good... Good day Sir (bends a little, Dr. Sumonu who has a crush on the beautiful young girl could not help but stare as she drops the soap and sponge)

DR. SUMONU: Sister Jenny, how are you?

JENNY : Fine sir. (She tries covering her cleavages and draws her gown abit as she notices the arkward stares from the church's patron)

PROPHET AKADRI: Doctor, we will talk later... I told you I'm in the middle of a prayer session... (Rises) Our dear Sister Jenny needs prayers and spiritual cleansing.

DR. SUMONU: (laughs heartily as he rises too) I can join in the prayer session too...

PROPHET AKADRI: Oh... No(smiles) It's some ... Some personal stuffs. (shifts uncomfortably)

DR. SUMONU: I am one of the Church's prayer warriors. (Notices the bulging in the Prophet's trousers.) Bakabororoboro show ko tae (speaking in tongues)

PROPHET AKADRI: (speaks in tongues too as he shakes) shokoko Dan baebae.... Èrí o.... The spirits want you out this minute, Doctor. You're distracting the holy spirit from doing his works.

DR. SUMONU: (feeling defeated) see you later, Prophet.(takes a last look at the Prophet's trousers before he leaves).

PROPHET AKADRI: (opens his eyes as he walks towards the door and bolts it) Sister Jenny, let's close our eyes in prayers... Uhm.... Agra shokoto limo(peaking in tongues) Èrí o.... Sister Jenny, you need to pull off your pants as the holy spirit needs to go in through the rear...(Jenny obeys his instructions) Good!... Now, touch yourself and see if you're wet, the holy ghost needs some vaginal fluid...(shakes vehemently with his eyes locked, Jenny obliges)

JENNY: argh! (Moans) Sir! There is no fluid...

PROPHET AKADRI: (continues praying and speaking in tongues for five minutes) Sister Jenny, the holy spirit orders me to help you get some vaginal fluid.... (Opens his eyes) Are you ready?

JENNY: of course!!! (She romoves her sweatgown and helps the Prophet with his belt)
Light fades

Bibi294:
I wanna write a play!!! Tired of all this prosaic form of writing....
NOTE: No character in this play exists, there are all from the Playwright imagination

pul-PIT is a pure fictious play, it is not directed to anybody neither a church, pastor or to the congregations

Bibi294:


JENNY: argh! (Moans) Sir! There is no fluid...

PROPHET AKADRI: (continues praying and speaking in tongues for five minutes) Sister Jenny, the holy spirit orders me to help you get some vaginal fluid.... (Opens his eyes) Are you ready?

JENNY: of course!!! (She romoves her sweatgown and helps the Prophet with his belt)
Light fades

SCENE TWO
(End Time Church International: Light reveals as Prophet Akadri enters into the councelling room where Mr. and Mrs. Peters are waiting patiently for him.)

PROPHET AKADRI: (moves towards his chair) I'm sorry for keeping you waiting...May God be with you...(sits) Mr. Peters, hope no problem? It is quite unusual to have you here... What's happening?

MR. PETERS: Sir, I am here to see you concerning this woman over here...(points towards Mrs.
Peters)

PROPHET AKADRI: What about her?

MR. PETERS: (adjust in his seat) I know you're a man of God... A very good one(the prophet nods) please, in the book of first Peter chapter three from verses one, I think the Lord ordered every wives to respect their husbands or is that not so? (The paster nods) Good! Please, ask my wife... Why is it that she places the church before our home?

PROPHET AKADRI: (smiles) I don't understand you, Mr. Peters.... Church over your home as how?

MR. PETERS: Prophet, my wife is always in the Church! I married her for her to be able to cafe for me and my kids not for some church works!!

MRS. PETERS: Daddy Jacobs(tries cubbing her fumming husband)

b]PROPHET AKADRI:[/b] May God forgive you! Your wife is just a devoted Christian who is dedicated to God's work and I know God is rewarding her greatly.

MR. PETERS: Prophet, I wonder what you preach to your members!

MRS. PETERS: Daddy Jacob! Watch your tongue! He is a Prophet of the most High...

b]PROPHET AKADRI:[/b] (smiles) Mr. Peters, may God forgives you!

MR. PETERS: What woman will be in church on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday till sunday,? My children will be out there begging neighbours for shelter, lunch and dinners! All she cares about is the Lord's vineyard... Even the bible rebukes that!

b]PROPHET AKADRI:[/b] The book of Ephesians says(flipping through the bible)...oh sorry(pauses) I mean the book of ehm... First Corinthians Eleven verse three says
"But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God."
Mr. Peter, even marriage is ordained by God, when this earth vanishes and rapture happens, there will be no husband or wife, no son or daughter... Everything we acquires in this world is of the world... Our services to God will surely judge our entrance into heaven on the last day

MR. PETERS: Prophet, do you mean what Mummy Jacob is doing is good?

b]PROPHET AKADRI:[/b] Of course, Daddy Jacob! The book of Colossians chapter 3:23-24 says
"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.

MR. PETERS: (flips through his pocket-size bible) ...but god detest eye service! That same Colossians chapter 3 verse 22 says Slaves, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord."

b]PROPHET AKADRI:[/b] So you mean your wife is a slave, Mr. Peters.... You see... You need God! I pray the Lord in his infinite mercy have mercy on your soul!

MR. PETERS: (rises to his feet) Which way, Mr. Prophet, as we speak, your wife is having her vacation in the UK, enjoying herself with your kids... Yet, my wife barely sleeps in our home twice a week... My God have mercy on your soul!!!

MRS. PETERS: Daddy Jacob, why are you bent on destroying me? The Bible says in the book of
Matthew 6 verese 33 that "...But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." See, my marriage to you cannot deprive me of my service to God... Because the Bible says that "Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him." I can't fear you, Daddy Jacob! (Spits)

MR. PETERS: That your own bible did not tell you in the book of first Timothy 5 verses eight that "..if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever..." (Silence) You see... Better sit here and marry your church and Prophet, thank God his wife is not around... If you want to continue being my wife, you have to choose between this church and your home... Good day!(exits)

MRS. PETERS[/b]: (sighs as she retires into the nearby chair) Lord, have mercy on my husband!

PROPHET AKADRI: Mummy Jacob, you need to move more closer to God... This is temptation o... Your husband wants to be a form of hindrance to God's divine encounter o

MRS PETERS: Daddy, ... But I love my husbands and my children... I think I need to take some times to spend with them...

b]PROPHET AKADRI:[/b] What will haooem to your service to God? Who gave you a husbands? The kids nko? Is it not God? Madam, you're still a young woman o... You want that man to tie you down and snatch you from God?

MRS PETERS: it he wants a divorce?

b]PROPHET AKADRI:[/b] yeah... Because devil is a liar? Let's fast and pray to God for him to touch his heart.. You're a good woman... Take a look at this... If you leave, who will coordinates the women's programme on Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays evening since mummy GO is not around? Who will sweep the church vineyard? Who will conduct prayer sessions for the widows? Think of all these, dear woman...

MRS PETERS:(sighs) God help us.

b]PROPHET AKADRI:[/b] Let us pray... Our father...
(Light fades)

Cc:eROCK247
MrCork
Joyicy

Pls come and continue.. Abeg... I love your writing