Source: http://mouthpiece.com.ng/is-peer-pressure-still-your-boss/

From requesting for a certain kind of schoolbag in primary school to having my second ear piercing in secondary school and even to having my first boyfriend in the university, all these were not really what I truly wanted or liked or what was best for me at those times yet they all had a single driving force that made them so ridiculously desirable I just had to have them and that driving force was PEER PRESSURE.

Peers are mostly people in your age group, could be classmates, friends, co-workers or even people you have never met before as in the case of virtual peers which are peers on social networks. When these people now influence how you live, act, talk or think, this is Peer Pressure. The influence could be positive, I mean didn’t we all have that smart friend who tutored us before exams or that friend who is really spiritual and preaches to us? So yes, peer pressure can be positive if the peers are people with values but the influence of peer pressure could also be deadly if those peers are unruly people as in the case of peer pressure induced alcoholism, drug addiction, cultism, prostitution etc.

As kids, we did lots of silly things just from the influence of peer pressure and our parents believed we will outgrow this phenomenon as we approach adulthood but sadly sometimes this is not the case, hence, lots of young adults and adults are still under the deadly influence of peer pressure. From worries about how we look to the desire to want social peers to think we’re cool all the way to the readiness to do some things just to fit in, no matter how silly or dangerous we know that thing is, negative effects of peer pressure could be toxic.

When it comes to young adults, quite a lot of them started taking alcohol due to peer pressure and some research have shown some do not even like the taste of alcohol, they simply take it because people around them do and they don’t want to be tagged the dull one who doesn’t know how to have fun. Some even became sexually active at the wrong time also due to peer pressure; as friends made fun of their virginity and also introduced them to the act and even encouraged them to have many sexual partners and many have contacted STDs as a result of this, hence the devastating effect of peer pressure cannot be overestimated.

Likewise as we get older we’re usually faced with challenging decisions that can sometimes put us in a dilemma and whether we realise it or not our peers mostly determine our actions and reactions in these cases.

Even as adults Peer pressure can strain us physically; when a friend convinces you to do something physically strenuous which you know your health can’t handle yet you do it anyway. It can also strain us mentally and psychologically; when peers laugh at your ambitions or goals and tell you that thing is impossible and sooner or later you start to believe it is impossible too no matter how enthusiastic you were about the idea initially. Peer pressure can strain us financially; when peers convince you to buy something you don’t need or can’t afford. Peer pressure can strain us maritally; A classic example is the case of a woman whose friends influence how she behaves to her husband because he comes home late or doesn’t give her money as much as her friend’s husband gives to her friend or a man whose friends implore him to marry another woman because his wife is stubborn or unable to bear him a male child. Peer pressure can even strain us socially; when peers even as full grown adults convince you to get drunk, use drugs or cheat on your spouse. Virtual peers can also cause your hateful comments, immoral acts on social media. These are all ways peer pressure can affect us as adults.

I admit overcoming peer pressure can be a bit challenging as some of these peeers are friends or people you love and respect. Yet, unlike a kid in primary school or a gullible teenager, you are an adult and you should have full and total control over how you live your life. Unlike a kid too, no one will try to understand you or pity the repercussions of your mistakes and you can’t even blame it on peer pressure either. You and only you will be the one to blame and bear the results if you mess up your life.

According to Dr Shilagh Mirgain, an American psychologist, to overcome peer pressure you have to;

Know Yourself;

Whenever you’re faced with hard decisions, take some time to find your inner compass and find yourself first and discover yourself and the things you want in life.

Ask Yourself;

What feels right to you? Can you make daily choices by yourself?
What activities make you feel good about yourself?
Where do you want your life to head?
Are you susceptive to negative peer pressure whenever in you’re in a particular mood?


Your body will give you clues about the answers to those questions by being relaxed or tense. So just give yourself some time to determine what feels right to you.

Be Assertive;

Whenever someone is pressuring you to do something unhealthy, use direct eye contact and say NO without wavering. If you have to explain to them, do it in a confident manner.

Validate Yourself;

To paraphrase a speech given by Teddy Roosevelt, ‘’ it’s not the critics that count but the person doing the deeds’’ So know there will always be people to question your choices or criticize your beliefs and that doesn’t matter. What really matters is whether those choices reflect your values and support your efforts at the long run.

Also my advice to you;

Please keep good company, move with people who influence you positively.

Know that ‘misery loves company’ and so miserable peers will want you to be miserable too so keep it in mind that when some friends pressure you to drink more alcohol, to not quit smoking or to sleep around, they do that to justify their own actions not necessarily because they care about you.

Don’t let anyone direct your life for you and so reply with a strong NO when you don’t want to do something and try not to live to please people or copy their lives.

In cases where these peers are people you love, try explaining to them how those actions make you unhappy and undermine your progress.

Last but not the least LOVE YOURSELF!

Source: http://mouthpiece.com.ng/is-peer-pressure-still-your-boss/