I feel sad

U shudnt beat ursef down.

This is d main reason I dont do business wt family.



The good thing is dt ur hubby is aware -cos now i knw d money will come out n God knws u r actually trying to mk things better for ur hubby n kids.


Dont worry ur mind, keep hustling.


God be wt u.

@

Sorry.
Try to look ahead.
He has done his own part and this should serve as an eye opener to him.
Continue to support each other in your endeavors and it shall be well with you.
Take care.

My sister..the deal is done already..brace yoursef up and start something..dont let him come between you and your husband..you have learnt your lessons now i guess

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[quote

Hmmmm, I think its a good thing this happened. You and your bobo needed to learn a much needed lesson the hard way ni. Biko, leave the extended family alone and work on weathering this your financial storm together. God will make a way...once you are back on track, you know who your friends are.

Pele.

I had dis kind if problem last year but mine was so complicated cos it got to a point my BIL stop coming to our house, I gave birth he didn't congratulate me and wen I report my MIL she nearly bring d house down on my head ontop of my money Fa? my husband also support dem dat he's going to pay me back but till today noting noting. just pray and don't let dem ruin your marriage. be patient

Look, let your husband collect the money. You need to start setting your priorities straight. What is more important? Your kids school fees or your BIL's hurt feelings? Imagine the stupid response he gave you. Nonsense. So he's going behind his brother's back to collect goods on credit and then try to cheat you. Then bully you into forgetting the money by saying you are coming between them. Collect the money first and patch the relationship later. If you are homeless today, that man will never help you. Whether you forget the money or not. Tell him thank you, that your husband went through your phone himself and saw the message. That he should let you know when yo expect the money because your family needs it. Rubbish, shameless brother in law. Onigbese.

I can tell you that this your brother in law is having the money and just don't want to pay. When it's business, keep emotions aside. You just have to go to his house face to face and ask for your money. He is just trying to intimidate you so you can forget the money maybe like your husband. If you no open eye for him, you won't get that money.
In fact report him to your parents inlaw.

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Your money has gone to voicemail. Unless you and your husband have the guts to treat his brother as you would an outsider, by involving the police.
Count your losses, and know you've learnt your lesson.
I hope you recover all your losses.
That's human beings for you. Next time, don't mix your business with family.
If you like report to the elders in their family, they will still take sides with their own.
Someone else wrote up there about a similar thing that happened to her, and she reported to the mil. The MIL and even her husband still took sides with the debtor.

.

hotmum:



Thanks I've learnt my lesson. The hard way. Hubby too I guess.
This is the same people my hubby sacrificed all his pleasures for. Hubby even married late cos he wanted everyone to be on their own. God being my witness I never stopped him in anyway. I was only not comfy with the loans. And only him pays back.

All I can make out of this is that you and hubby are too kind and generous to a fault. PLEASE I beg you. PUT a stop to that that attitude. That's what ruined my late mother.

Any money you make should be for your own use and that of your kids.

My mother didn't have any tangible investment because of family. My mother died because she was duped by a bastard that she helped.

Learn not to please people too much to your own detriment.

Most of the families still wonder why we don't go near them. Why should we when we saw everything that they did to her? One of my uncle keep complaining lol. He would say "your mother was not like this, she was always carrying everybody along" eh uncle, thank you sireee. I have heard.


Me, I am just as soft as my mum BUT I learned not to ever listen to my heart when it seems like it would make me uncomfortable.

My elder brother went on what seems like a suicide mission, knowing how things are for him. Out of anger, I called my elder sister and told her that NOTHING will make me send money if he ever cries out and I have stood my ground. He asked for help some days ago and I refused to do anything about it. Not that I won't do it, it's not everytime you make life easy for humans. Once a while, give them the harshness of nature (mother nature isn't an all time pamper), act like you don't have a heart.

hotmum:


Right now hubby is boiling. And threatening to delete everyone of them from his life. He trained this one through school.
Am telling him to calm down lets forget the money and forge ahead. He's so bitter. I cannot begin to explain what he did for each of them.
Pls any suggestions on how to calm him down. I can't even sleep as I do not like to be in the middle of such issues.
I've always wanted a peaceful family

I think you should count your losses and forge ahead.You and your hubby have learnt your lessons.I think your hubby went too far with the loans.A rule of life is to take loans that does not take more than 40% of your income to payback.

Your BIL might pay back later and you just have to wait for him to do that.
There's no way for your hubby to calm down except you keep pacifying him.He is broke now as you say so it will be hard for him not to be offended.

Some debtors can be annoying ehn! See insults. Well, I think you should count your losses ma. A debtor is still a slave to a lender (Proverb 22:7), so when he fails to pay, he leaves himself under your feet. That way, he would never again be courageous to meet you for any form of financial assistance.

There are a million and one ways to recover money from a debtor though; but these techniques aren't family-friendly.

hotmum:


Right now hubby is boiling. And threatening to delete everyone of them from his life. He trained this one through school.
Am telling him to calm down lets forget the money and forge ahead. He's so bitter. I cannot begin to explain what he did for each of them.
Pls any suggestions on how to calm him down. I can't even sleep as I do not like to be in the middle of such issues.
I've always wanted a peaceful family

He's your husband. Tell him not to get his blood pressure raised for anybody. He still has to be the father for his own children, as his brothers may be unreliable if anything should happen to him, so he needs to watch it.
You still just have to talk to him not to let it get to him like that.
At the end if the say, bitterness has a negative impact on the person that's bitter. I know we're all humans, but I've personally learnt how to take people with their character flaws and all, so I usually don't get so disappointed whenever anyone messes up. I guess that's my own coping mechanism.
Let him know you guys have just learnt a lesson.
At the end of the day, the easiest person to blame will be you. They will say you've come to destroy the peace amongst brothers, forgetting they have their own character flaws.
Just start thinking of other ways to raise the money for your needs now. Hopefully, he will still pay you your money at a later date.
Its a pity the brother is shameless, I'm sure he probably still thinks afterall the money is still their brother's own.

Never mix family with business. If a family member wants to do business with you, insist on treating him/her like any other customer/supplier, get all necessary contracts/ invoice/receipts. Apply the same debt collection principles. If you know you will not be able to do this, do not do business with related parties. Why do people not understand this simple rule?

My sister just take off your mind from that money and start praying to God, to give him no rest until he returns your money. Don't call him again nor ask for the money from him, leave am, with your prayers, only him will run like some one bokoharam is chasing to give you your money peacefully. Use the word of God(Bible), to comfort and pacify your husbands anger, it is only the word of God that has the power to change a man and make his ways prosperous again. Peace and God's blessings be upon your home amen.