It's quite complicated, But the truth still remains that my biological dad is alive. remembered growing up without someone to call father/daddy,
keep asking mummy but she always waves it out. born in Port harcourt, but finished primary/secondary in village. not until one faithful year i came for my usual annual holiday. gone to visit a particular man i do visit each time am on vacation. came back from his shop that particular day, & my
sister from another father, sat me down & told me things. that the man i visited today is my daddy. felt goose bump all over me. cried out hell on that day. was in my Junior Secondary School then. how he dissapointed my mum, during labor, the innocent woman couldn't push. she had to deliver me through C S. According to my sister, we suffered, but God's Grace kept us going. now my father is married, he's with seven children, has more than five boys. managed to get there contacts, talk to them on phone & my dad once in a while. though i have not seen them before & him my dad has apologies for his wrong deeds to my mum & myself. if am to raise my own family tomorrow, don't even know where to do that. if am to go to my father's village or my maternal home,where i grew up & well welcome. wouldn't want to take a drastic decision now that would jeopardize my children future. growing up with a daddy compelled me to act out, some people do not understand what growing up without a strong male support is actually like & what the consequences are. A mother provides the nurturing qualities, while a father provides the self esteem, strength to conquer the world. a child needs a mother & father,each brings their own qualities that shape a child as a person.am struggling with a lot of personal, emotional, social & psychological issues. more likely to be aggressive but i can control mine ''though sometimes''. more susceptible to emotional distress, battled several addictions. above all, I thank God for His unconditional Love & care towards me. His Grace & Mercies kept me going & speaks for me. at least i have a job where am managing myself & funding myself in Higher institution. not easy though combining the two. my main predicament now is to fight this ugly feelings of depression. really eating me up. i look happy naturally, but inside of me, am not. if i don't tell you, you wouldn't know. Life isn't just fair.

i can really relate to the depression aspect and tell you its a bit difficult to conquer if you dwell too much on it ..

try being around friends more often, always do things which make you happy and think less always.. with that you'd be able to get over it sooner rather than later.

i wish you all the very best as you go through this phase and hope you come out solid soonest

@ Kingphilip, Yea.

Thanks Kingphilip.

Yet, some ladies just want to be baby mamas without understanding the psychological effects of what unstable homes does to a child's upbringing.

I grew up without.. take your pick. These are excuses, its the past, look forward, stay positive.

My dear, pls stop giving yourself unnecessary heartache. Yes, I may not understand what you're passing through right now, but the fact is that your life isn't tied to his.....

You're already on the right track, continue with what you're doing at the moment and worry less about the future. You don't need to beat yourself up!

You're a man! You can help him be a better father, you can reach out to him, let him know you want him to be part of your life & if he's not forth coming then you have to move on & give your life a meaning...he will come looking for you, then you will have to be the one to decide.


Pls don't feel bad. In fact, this should keep you going, be a better father to your kids. Help those who will pass through similar thing later in life.


I hope you know, you're not the only one funding yourself in school even those with parents so it doesn't really matter. What matters is the determination & self will, what you want to make out of your life, your purpose in life. Don't see it as if you're helping your dad....you're doing it for yourself and no one else.


Lastly, life isn't fair! We all pass through different stages in life, but that shouldn't be an excuse for anyone. A lot of peeps pass through hell in life yet, you see them stronger. Don't ever think you've seen it all in life...."One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor"

ammyluv2002:
My dear, pls stop giving yourself unnecessary heartache. Yes, I may not understand what you're passing through right now, but the fact is that your life isn't tied to his.....

You're already on the right track, continue with what you're doing at the moment and worry less about the future. You don't need to beat yourself up!

You're a man! You can help him be a better father, you can reach out to him, let him know you want him to be part of your life & if he's not forth coming then you have to move on & give your life a meaning...he will come looking for you, then you will have to be the one to decide.


Pls don't feel bad. In fact, this should keep you going, be a better father to your kids. Help those who will pass through similar thing later in life.


I hope you know, you're not the only one funding yourself in school even those with parents so it doesn't really matter. What matters is the determination & self will, what you want to make out of your life, your purpose in life. Don't see it as if you're helping your dad....you're doing it for yourself and no one else.


Lastly, life isn't fair! We all pass through different stages in life, but that shouldn't be an excuse for anyone. A lot of peeps pass through hell in life yet, you see them stronger. Don't ever think you've seen it all in life...."One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor"

madame I know d contributions u make n lives u touch . D epth of ur insight is testimony to ur kind of person. .....salute!!!

sakaba:
madame I know d contributions u make n lives u touch . D epth of ur insight is testimony to ur kind of person. .....salute!!!

Thanks


I truly appreciate your kind words