[center]INTERNAL MEMO[/center]

FROM: FATHER
TO: ALL DEPENDANTS AND RELATIVES
CC: MOTHER
DATE: TODAY

SUBJECT: FINANCIAL MELTDOWN/COST CUTTING

Unavoidably, all domestic rules and regulations have been revised as below and under no circumstance is any violation allowed.

1. The Kitchen and all pantries are declared Restricted Zones. Entry and/or passage shall require express permission from me upon submission of written request. Cases will be treated on first come serve basis.

2. Breakfast is banned. This matter is not for discussion.

3. Such food items as rice, chicken, butter, jam, eggs, chocolates, bread and milk are RESTRICTED. Anyone intending to eat any of such food must write to me in triplicate, with three days notice, giving convincing nutritional reasons backed by a qualified dietician’s recommendation.


4. Watering with hoses is banned. Furthermore, only food-giving plants shall be watered. No lawns or flowers shall receive water. For internal decoration, only plastic and dry-flower arrangements shall be permitted. (Mother please take note)

5. Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 litres of water per day per person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are medical reasons.

6. Security lights are being removed with immediate effect. All dependants shall abide by an all-night guard-duty roaster I shall make available shortly.

7. No dependant shall entertain friends indoors, far less attempt to offer food, drinks or even music. Those who want their guests to listen to music shall sing for them.

8. Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other property in the House, shall immediately have to seek temporary employment somewhere to earn money to replace such broken item(s).

9. Use of Generators, torch lights, candles, lanterns of whatever make is banned. All residents are advised to go to bed once you can no longer see objects in front of you.

11. All visitors intending to spend a night/week or more shall apply in triplicate and give two months notice, with an endorsement from their town Union Chairman, Village Head or Church Priest, giving 50 convincing reasons why they can't stay home. Failure to do this shall result in
their being turned away upon arrival.

THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER.


Thank you all for your understanding

;d ;d ;d ;d ;d

2. Breakfast is banned. This matter is not for discussion.

lai lai

who is dis krama, who told u my ISP is cobradungeon

tytylayor:

who is dis krama, who told u my ISP is cobradungeon

beats me too

Hahahahahahaha, there is nothing hidden that will not be made manifest in MY sight!

Not rules but DECREES

thank God is not from my father,to me or any of my relatives. on your own

tytylayor:



2. Breakfast is banned. This matter is not for discussion.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ! ROTFLMAO!!!

lol

7. No dependant shall entertain friends indoors, far less attempt to offer food, drinks or even music. Those who want their guests to listen to music shall sing for them.

I am in pain

funny stuff