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Rules For Women - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Rules For Women by koldfaya(m): 12:39pm On Jan 30, 2007
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Sunday equals sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes, tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway, it's genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really!!!
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this, Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Re: Rules For Women by Naturalle(f): 1:49pm On Jan 05, 2008
I guess sistaz really detest this one cos since u put it on almost a year ago, no one has responded to it. shocked
Re: Rules For Women by Migines(m): 2:04pm On Jan 05, 2008
So why u?
Re: Rules For Women by kronkykay(m): 1:59am On Jan 06, 2008
she's interested.
Re: Rules For Women by sexytitan(f): 6:38am On Jan 06, 2008
@koldfaya
I'm almost certain u got that from the net but i just want to say that it's all true
Living with 2 brothers all ur life is no joke but at least u learn something.
Sorry ladies undecided
Re: Rules For Women by ituen(m): 12:45pm On Jan 06, 2008
;d ;d ;d ;d
Re: Rules For Women by ThugLife1(m): 5:51pm On Jan 06, 2008
a year? Wtf
Re: Rules For Women by mimiko(f): 7:31pm On Jan 06, 2008
pls dont blame the poster as they say leave the sleeping dog lie but na lie one mumu yanga go wake am
Re: Rules For Women by benjay1(m): 9:23pm On Jan 06, 2008
@Poster, Na who you expect to read this Long note u call Joke ?

If you are expecting yours sincerely here to read this long thing, Then you need to have your big head examined.
GBAM !!!
Re: Rules For Women by clemcykul(f): 10:46am On Jan 07, 2008
poster u try huh? tell the sisstaz again dat we care somehow but not all that!

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