Whether you are dating in hopes of finding your first love or are back in the game after healing from a breakup or divorce, dating is a whole world of its own. There are unspoken rules and plenty of personalities in the mix that make the waters less than clear for all of the players involved.

Dating has changed a lot in recent years with the development of online dating sites, apps, and matchmakers. I am often counseling people recently separated or divorced who want to re-enter the dating scene. Faced with these new options, they tell me that a process that used to be intimidating and overwhelming has now also become very confusing.

Beyond the ‘how-tos’ of finding a date are the ‘how-tos’ of behaving on a date. In an area where self-doubt and insecurities can get the best of you, fostering some level of self-confidence is crucial to finding dating success.

To increase your odds of success, take a look at these four common dating mistakes and evaluate yourself. If you might be making any of them, then follow the tips on how you can avoid them.

1.Putting on a show

What you’re doing: We all feel the need to present the best of ourselves to a date and, in a way, perform for them. We understandably want to make sure that we come across as likable and leave a great first impression. With this, it is easy to cross the line and give a false representation of who we truly are.

How to stop: Rather than focusing on how you are coming across to your date, just try to be present in the moment with them. Be yourself, listen to your date and be engaging. This will help you to be able to decipher how you feel about your date instead of just wanting them to like you enough to go for a second date.

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