Hello Nairalanders this piece was culled from my English lecturer's FB page. Who goes by the name
Isiyaku Eazee Abdullahi.

Enjoy!

HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU?

I met Mathematics in my primary school. I liked her so much I was her best friend just like I was close to English language. No one in my class was as close to the two of them as I was.. I maintained my relationship with mathematics even in secondary school, we were so close up to my third year in secondary school. I loved mathematics and mathematics loved me but I think I loved mathematics more sincerely and genuinely than she did to me.

I gave her time, attention and even affection. I shared everything I had with her and that included my six-springs bed. I was finding her indispensable. The best time I ever had at that time was moments of romance with mathematics. I think mathematics herself realised that I was too much in love with her and typical of the woman that she is, mathematics started acting arrogantly and playing hard to get. It started wearing a hard face of the X d Y.

I could no longer understand her. She became complicated and flares up at the slightest touch from me. As time went on,I became frustrated and couldn't bear the humiliation and disgrace from mathematics, I had no choice but to end the relationship. She broke my heart into many pieces. I was devastated as I watched my beautiful lover taken away from me. To make matters worse, mathematics walked majestically in front of me wearing new set of beautiful dress almost every week. Her clothes were Designers........From Algebra to Calculus, Geometry, Trigonometry and other beautiful and expensive dresses, just to add to my frustrations.


I was rejected, deserted and lonely for almost two years. Suddenly, English Language came along and showed me what it means to love sincerely. So lovely and caring was English that, she made me forget my past and turned my bad experience with mathematics in to a huge blessing. I Didn't waste time to propose to English, she was so excited and kissed me all over.

We got married at Dundaye in sokoto state under the watchful eyes of wonderful and responsible elders and parents of English, among them, Dr. L. M Bulber, Dr. Ahmed Rufai. Dr. Madani, Dr Jayqgovind, Prof. Austin Peters, Prof. Bello Bada, Prof Malami Buba and a host of others. As soon as Mathematics got wind of my marriage to English, she came begging in tears. She apologised saying that what happened between us was the work of the devil.

Mathematics is such a queen with a beautiful voice but I refused to be deceived. I told her it was too late. My love belongs to English,I told her. She sent many of her friends to me, among them statistics and Economics but I told them politely that I was married to the love of my life, English. Thank God, we are happy, comfortable and blessed with too children named, BA and MA respectively.

As I speak with you now, dear English is heavily pregnant with our third child. English Language has continued to feed me with sweet delicacies like phonetics, phonology, syntax, prose and poetry. It gives me fresh fruits like diction and verse to eat. I'm happy I did not marry mathematics, for perhaps, I would have gone mad.

After all, my friends; Garus who married her as his bride and Zaki Dalijan who took her home as a widow after she murderd her cripple husband in cold blood, are almost lunatics now. Sometimes they look at you and just bust into a frightening laughter and at other times, they see you, walkaway with a frown that tells you....come near me and get a bleeding nose.

Sannu Mathematics!


Isiyaku Eazee Abdullahi

wow! so creative. a very beautiful piece

I love this, no doubts u really married to English.