June 2005; we were done with our final exams and preparing to wrap up project. There was so much ‘owu’ in the air. No money anywhere. Boys eyes been dey chuk seriously. Only one of my friends and room mate had money Julian Mmeka (Rhino).
He was making soup, so I laid in bed waiting to chow, I was not just broke but very hungry. In my deep thought of what to do to get money …….
……….everything changed.

One strange guy walked up to me like he knew me. He started talking almost immediately. He said ‘scoro' job dey o. final year exams for Abia State University, 7 papers, 10k for each paper and you go stay for hotel fully paid for the two weeks the exam will last’. Yipeeee. It sounded too good to be true. At a time I was looking for 5k, somebody was offering me 70k for two weeks. Free money I called it.

Two days later, I was on my way to ABSU Uturu Campus. I got to uturu; a white Mercedes Benz with 3 occupants came to pick me…in my mind I said ‘see levels’. I was taken straight to one very beautiful hotel ( cant remember the name). Those guys checked me in and said ‘holland will come and see you later, eat whatever you feel like’. They left. I ordered everything. We chop and die here.

By 7pm, ‘Holland’ came to my room. He was close to 7ft tall, very lanky and soft spoken. He told me to enjoy myself( you know say money no be problem�). He said my mercenary exploits is legendary and thus he believes his intel. So we agreed on everything, venue of exam, reg no, course time table etc. Before he left he said, ‘no need to score 80-90, if you can give me between 55-65 for each paper I am ok, so it doesn’t look suspicious’. I told him ok.

I wrote 6 papers without any hassles. While preparing to go for the last paper, he called me and told me to keep my phone on but on silent. I said ‘no shit’. I was very excited. After all the enjoyment for 2weeks I was going to get 70k cash just like that. The final paper was financial Accounting which happened to be my best course, so I wrote very fast. In 1 hr I had written two questions for a 3 hr 4 questions exam. 15 minutes into the third question, I got a text message from an unknown number...’ SUBMIT AND LEAVE THE HALL NOW’.
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I did not understand. Somehow I just stood up and went to submit. The invigilator was shocked, I told him I was not feeling too well and had to leave. On my way down the staircase, I saw two guys racing up, one hit my shoulder on his way, stopped and gave me one wicked look that said ‘ u won die ?’. I did not say anything, I just headed towards the gate and then I heard gun shots in the classroom I was just coming out from kpo kpo kpa kpa. ����Eh eh eh, na me dem be dey find? I began to run���. On getting to the gate, I got another text, ‘ GO STRAIGHT TO ENUGU, I WILL SEND YOUR BAG & MONEY’. Jisozzzz.....O boy see problem ooo, what is happening here. I called the number, it was switched off, I called ‘holland’, same thing. I began to run on the express like I intend running from Abia to Enugu. I was confused.

From nowhere I saw my neighbour’s son in Lagos. He asked me what I was doing in his school. I explained everything to him. In shock he said ‘scoro na only you no know Holland? He is a dreaded cultist in the entire Eastern Nigeria, he could not have written any of the exams, cos different frats were looking for him’.

I began to cry.

‘Ok guy e don be already, wetin I go do now…my money...70k’ I told him. He said ‘ok you go sleep for my room today, by tomorrow morning everywhere go don calm down, we go find Holland go to collect your money.
We were in his room sleeping when I heard gun shots in his compound, some angry voices shouting outside, ‘whey the guy wey write exams for Holland, we hear say him dey here’. Seconds later, they broke the door to my friend’s house and came inside. It was those two guys I saw by the staircase. I stayed still in bed and closed my eyes as if they won’t see me. One walked up to the bed and said ‘scoro wake up’...that word kept re-echoing until I opened my eyes……and saw my room mate Julian standing over me. He said ‘ guy why you dey sweat like this when fan dey on, get up , food don ready’.

It was all a dream..... God!


I told you in the beginning…’its not what you think'.

Ciao!�