“A guy need to struggle to make life comfortable for a woman and their unborn children”. This is a popular phase use by men since “forever”. I am in a relationship of 9years and 5months and that is what I am still hearing. He keep saying his married friends do call him for money and he is not ready to be in that kind of situation. Now the issue is not that he is not comfortable enough to start a family. Infact we do visit each other family (so it is not an hidden relationship). Some people will say be patient, for the right time, Please when is the right time? When all his friends and mine are married already. Even the ones younger than him are married.
He is a cool guy that gives me all I want and I could almost vouch he won’t double date until recently that I got to know that he take girls to his apartment. Even after confronting him, he told me it was just a fling and he never had any relationship with them. It was like a night stand. Even while I am with him, he will be planning date with other ladies.
I have come to the conclusion that, him not ready to settle down has nothing to do with money or anything, but he love his freedom to go out with any girl he likes and he is not ready to put a stop to that freedom until he is satisfied.
He keep telling me, it is a normal thing for a guy to ask girls out to feel like a man but he is not having anything serious with them. That it is better I focus on him and forget sides distractions.
How can I focus when you keep doing this? Even while I was in his place he set up date with other girls.
When I was in school I had a male friend I do ask questions that had to do with understanding guys but we lost contact over the years.
I brought my story to nairaland for MATURE GUYS to help me out. You should understand the years we ve spent together is not easy.
Over the years we both help each other through difficult situation, stand by one and other and support each other when necessary.
My mind keep telling me this guy can disappoint me either now or after marriage. He doesn't sound like he has any issue marrying a second wife if he can.
Recently I got to discover some things about him that I never knew he could do. Let me give you an instance, there was a day I cooked a nice food and decided to surprise him and take some to him.you won't believe this guy refuse to open the gate for me. He ordered me back to my house. Telling me he didn't know I was coming. I was on my way to work and just stopped by to give him the food. You won't believe this guy didn't open the gate. When he finally opened the gate, it was for him to leave the house. I had to pass through the back door to drop the food. He said I have no right to come to his house without prior notice. I was shocked. I never in my life believed he could do that.
If I accept what he said as normal guy way to woo girls and never had anything serious with them, what if he keeps doing this after marriage ?
Where do I start from?
I open this account for this story because right now I don’t know what to do.
Can mature guys help me get through this please... Thank you

wat ar u stl doing wt hm, d hand writing is very clear, u hv bin wt hm for 9 years and now he is tired of u being around hm hence d flings wt oda gals. He doesn't luv and respect u any more so d best u cn do 4 ursef is 2 let hm go. D thought of "after 9 years, where do I go from here, after rejecting many guys bc hm" might fill ur mind(which is normal), bt gal, dnt u tink its beta 2 leav hm now and gv oda guys a chance dan hm inviting u 2 his wedding after 2 or more years of being wt hm? Think abt it dear, u ar 2 special 2 b any man's second choice

IAMSASHY:
wat ar u stl doing wt hm, d hand writing is very clear, u hv bin wt hm for 9 years and now he is tired of u being around hm hence d flings wt oda gals. He doesn't luv and respect u any more so d best u cn do 4 ursef is 2 let hm go. D thought of "after 9 years, where do I go from here, after rejecting many guys bc hm" might fill ur mind(which is normal), bt gal, dnt u tink its beta 2 leav hm now and gv oda guys a chance dan hm inviting u 2 his wedding after 2 or more years of being wt hm? Think abt it dear, u ar 2 special 2 b any man's second choice

thank you sweetheart

Dear, God has done his part in ur life by revealing to you what might make you not to be happy for the rest of your life. D decision still remains yours to make.