hello guys I have a friend who always goes to her pastor/spiritual father's concerning who to date,she has done this 2 different times and she always got used and dumped. the funny thing is theres this guy who truly loves her buh she claims she loves also buh because they(pastors) said his family has a spiritual challenge. she decided to leave him saying she has been warned no to enter any family with spiritual challenges.now shes been told that the guy that's gonna marry her will meet her next year. my question: is it right to go to a spiritual leader or a pastor to make inquiries?

From your write up,you painted a very bad picture of why people should not go to their spiritual head for advice on such matter.And you expect others to condemn it.
There is nothing wrong in going to a spiritual head on who to date. It have saved thousands from pains and sorrow .However,if her spiritual head is truely spiritual,he would probably have seen the dangers ahead. Mind you she was not used and dumbed,she allowed her self to be used.Will a spiritual head monitor your actions?
Also she might have seen someone she loves and the spiritual head thinks he is not the right person(if truly he is spiritual then its OK)
Note that expression of love by both parties does not determine a good home,or a lasting marriage. After all many have professed to be in love and yet their marriage did not last for more than a week.
My submission: try to be spiritual enough to be able to get guidance from the holy spirit. But if you are not spiritual enough,a spiritual authority is recommended .

chivic:
From your write up,you painted a very bad picture of why people should not go to their spiritual head for advice on such matter.And you expect others to condemn it.
There is nothing wrong in going to a spiritual head on who to date. It have saved thousands from pains and sorrow .However,if her spiritual head is truely spiritual,he would probably have seen the dangers ahead. Mind you she was not used and dumbed,she allowed her self to be used.Will a spiritual head monitor your actions?
Also she might have seen someone she loves and the spiritual head thinks he is not the right person(if truly he is spiritual then its OK)
Note that expression of love by both parties does not determine a good home,or a lasting marriage. After all many have professed to be in love and yet their marriage did not last for more than a week.
My submission: try to be spiritual enough to be able to get guidance from the holy spirit. But if you are not spiritual enough,a spiritual authority is recommended .

really thanks for the reply, not that I'm saying it's bad,buh I just believe some of these so called spiritual leaders decide based on wah a person tells them.not a rccg member buh I once read a topic in open heavens and pastor adeboye said people go to seek spiritual help because they are too lazy to pray. this same person I'm talking bouh once told me bouh how her parents told her sister to leave a certain guy buh the sister didn't till she got her own answers through prayers.

I don't know abt others, but the last thing i'll do is seek spiritual counsel concerning my relationship or marriage. God was der wen i fell in love, so nobody should tell me dt he's not in support of my union. When things do not go well, i'll know i followed my heart, and not blame it on any prophecy

Augustap:
I don't know abt others, but the last thing i'll do is seek spiritual counsel concerning my relationship or marriage. God was der wen i fell in love, so nobody should tell me dt he's not in support of my union. When things do not go well, i'll know i followed my heart, and not blame it on any prophecy

babe thats wah I believe too coz I prefer knowing I brought something on myself than regretting I actually followed the directions of someone who won't bear the consequences with me when the problem starts.buh like chivic said it has saved lots of life.buh this girl turned to a intimacy gadget coz she felt she was with Mr forever.guess we just have to take a risk between following our hearts or other means

Othlera:
babe thats wah I believe too coz I prefer knowing I brought something on myself than regretting I actually followed the directions of someone who won't bear the consequences with me when the problem starts.buh like chivic said it has saved lots of life.buh this girl turned to a intimacy gadget coz she felt she was with Mr forever.guess we just have to take a risk between following our hearts or other means

Life is a risk anyway. But most times people get into these problems themselves. As a guy, you'll be in a relationship with a girl who
1. Uses sex to threaten you
2. Tell lies as colorful as fanta
3. Hang out with friends you're not comfortable with (cheating)
4. Loves attention like a new born child
5. Has shown unkind and uncalled for attitude to people
6. Disrespectful and find old people and kids disgusting
7. Challenges every single thing you say, and she is not even eager to learn
8. Compares you to other guys
9. Does not care if you save at all, na her self she know
10. You do not trust her fully, you still doubt her to an extent.
Some guys see these traits and still dive in to marriage like divers. No one is a saint, everyone has some flaws, but a girl who has almost all listed there na no no for me if i be guy.
While for the girls, they'll see a guy who
1. Beats them
2. Boss them around
3. Cheats
4.

Othlera:
babe thats wah I believe too coz I prefer knowing I brought something on myself than regretting I actually followed the directions of someone who won't bear the consequences with me when the problem starts.buh like chivic said it has saved lots of life.buh this girl turned to a intimacy gadget coz she felt she was with Mr forever.guess we just have to take a risk between following our hearts or other means

Life is a risk anyway. But most times people get into these problems themselves. As a guy, you'll be in a relationship with a girl who
1. Uses sex to threaten you
2. Tell lies as colorful as fanta
3. Hang out with friends you're not comfortable with (cheating)
4. Loves attention like a new born child
5. Has shown unkind and uncalled for attitude to people
6. Disrespectful and find old people and kids disgusting
7. Challenges every single thing you say, and she is not even eager to learn
8. Compares you to other guys
9. Does not care if you save at all, na her self she know
10. You do not trust her fully, you still doubt her to an extent.
Some guys see these traits and still dive in to marriage like divers. No one is a saint, everyone has some flaws, but a girl who has almost all listed there na no no for me if i be guy.
While for the girls, they'll see a guy who
1. Beats them
2. Boss them around
3. Cheats
4. Isn't baby friendly or respectful to people especially the aged
5. Withholds sex or affection as punishment
6. Compares you to other ladies
7. Tell constant lies like the power failure in 9ja
8. Only has time for you when it's a weather for two
9. Doesn't include you in future plans
10. He doesn't make you feel good, wanted and loved. You still doubt if this will work a lot.
Girls see all these and jump in to marriage like life guards at a beach thinking the guy will change. If a person loves you, they'll change for good becos of you. But if they don't change when you're dating, forget it, they ain't changing after marriage.

Augustap:

Life is a risk anyway. But most times people get into these problems themselves. As a guy, you'll be in a relationship with a girl who
1. Uses sex to threaten you
2. Tell lies as colorful as fanta
3. Hang out with friends you're not comfortable with (cheating)
4. Loves attention like a new born child
5. Has shown unkind and uncalled for attitude to people
6. Disrespectful and find old people and kids disgusting
7. Challenges every single thing you say, and she is not even eager to learn
8. Compares you to other guys
9. Does not care if you save at all, na her self she know
10. You do not trust her fully, you still doubt her to an extent.
Some guys see these traits and still dive in to marriage like divers. No one is a saint, everyone has some flaws, but a girl who has almost all listed there na no no for me if i be guy.
While for the girls, they'll see a guy who
1. Beats them
2. Boss them around
3. Cheats
4. Isn't baby friendly or respectful to people especially the aged
5. Withholds sex or affection as punishment
6. Compares you to other ladies
7. Tell constant lies like the power failure in 9ja
8. Only has time for you when it's a weather for two
9. Doesn't include you in future plans
10. He doesn't make you feel good, wanted and loved. You still doubt if this will work a lot.
Girls see all these and jump in to marriage like life guards at a beach thinking the guy will change. If a person loves you, they'll change for good becos of you. But if they don't change when you're dating, forget it, they ain't changing after marriage.

yeah, just imagine dating a girl with some of those traits and someone is telling you she's your God's will, same as the guy who has been beating you even before marriage.

Othlera:
yeah, just imagine dating a girl with some of those traits and someone is telling you she's your God's will, same as the guy who has been beating you even before marriage.

If someone tells me that kind of guy is my god sent husband, I'll make sure i gv the person a slap that will erase the gift of prophecy from him/her

Most pple who do dis so called spiritual enquiries before marrying their boo are jost looking for an easy way out for their laziness. All through d bible nobody did it, not even Abraham. Ur spiritual leader can advise u based on d facts u place b4 him or her but not d way many r going about it these days