afrobaby:

The fact that she moved into the guy's house without a proper wedding is a big concern, men will always be men,
she should try and tell the two parents about the situation so that both parties (the guy and the lady) can be summoned and really say what's happening
She can then be able to deduce what is happening and know the next step

~Sissy~:

why would she continue to go out with him on weekends while the man chased her out of his house? if she was so important to him, he would at least tried to mend things since then. he doesnt to marry her but still want a date on the weekends.

Re: Should She Leave ?

brutal:

D main issue here is not "cohabitation"or moving in with a man. .it's either she's not what he really wants or he's not ready for marriage.
intimacy or no intimacy, man weh go leave u,will still leave u. . . .

D poster did not tell us why he discontinued d relationship--he must have reasons. . .

D main issue here is "inner beauty" . .guys make una tell me which normal bachelor will see a good woman/wife material and refused to marry her.
Even criminals/robbers dey look 4 good wives.

Ujujoan:

I have a friend who got married in 2008. They did the introduction and she moved in with her husband. I don't know if they got too comfortable with the whole living arrangement thing that they forgot to do the wedding. Anyway, last year they had a quarrel and the husband told her he wanted her out of the house - said he needed 'space'

As at the time it happened, I thought it was just a lover's spat and hoped that things will blow over with time. I bet she thought the same thing as well. Except of course we were wrong! Now almost six months later, my friend is still 'squatting' at my place, visiting her husband, and wondering what the heck is going on

Each time she tries to raise the subject, he hushes her and waves the issue aside.

Should she keep staying (on one foot) or should she walk away? Is this a sign that the marriage is over or is he just being difficult? I need ideas here because I'm honestly confused!

jumie:

What wedding are you talking about after they have gotten married like you said? The very first sentence says they got married, so I assume she is a wife to the man or is something missing here?

deluxecad:

Uju, u've always come across to me as someone dat knows what should or shouldn't be. How could u ve allowed your friend to still be sleeping with a guy dat suddenly chased her out. Two can't be together unless they be agreed. One could adjudge u to be as just your friend 4 she to be making such a fo.olish voyage from your own house and u permitted dat without talking some real brain matter into her skull.

Ujujoan:

They did the whole brid price paying thing and traditional wine carrying! No white wedding yet.

I know, I feel awful about myself. It's just that the man is queit advanced and I've always seen him as someone who would be reasonable and sensible in his actions.

When the whole thing started, I thought it was a joke. Then it dragged and dragged and dragged.

The last straw happened on sunday when he told my friend to withdraw from an MBA programme she applied for. That got me thinking, if he claims to be her husband and wants to make major decicions in her life, he should marry her proper or at least take her back under his roof.

As opposed to my NL character, I usually mind my business in real life. I dont give advice if I'm not asked and even then, I'm always really careful because I always believe there's always another side to the story.

But I just had to sit my friend down on sunday and talk to her. I just couldn't hold back anymore.

I just hope you guys are wrong though and he's not jsut looking for a way to leave her

fifi09:

Wow, this is serious. If he did the wine carring and paid her bride price then that means she is

somehow married to him.

Ujujoan:

She had no choice because he changed the locks and literally threw her out. She cried and pleaded to no avail. So she decided to give it some time hoping he'll change his mind.

davidylan:

hehehehehehe women never cease to make me laugh.

but she still goes to warm his bed on weekends and probably has to take a taxi back to your place on sunday eh?
So she has to endure living as a visitor in the bedroom that once used to be her territory eh? while lifting her legs in "praise"?

and she's still asking if she shld leave or not eh? She got any pride left? I doubt it.

Ride on bro! you got a willing cow to ride for free!

Ujujoan:

Yea, according to the Igbo tradition!

Ujujoan:

That's not fair!

Ujujoan:

Both families are aware of the situation. The guy has told her parents that he doesn't want to marry her anymore, but then he still comes on fiday nights to pick her up for the wekend. He family is not aware she's still seeing him, but she's just holding on because she hopes with time he'll change his mind.

~Sissy~:

why would she continue to go out with him on weekends while the man chased her out of his house? if she was so important to him, he would at least tried to mend things since then. see how the man is using her? he doesnt to marry her but still want a date on the weekends.

The last straw happened on sunday when he told my friend to withdraw from an MBA programme she applied for.

na2day?:


she is a weekend wife, more like a temp job

~Sissy~:


i dont think the man even see her as his wife, more like "date"/gf

Damysa:

Does your friend knows what she want in life at all? where is her pride? This is about the biggest joke I have heard in ages.
Please and please if she knows what is good for her let her do it. This is the height of degradation any woman can condescend to. She should stop seeing him ASAP and mind u even if they eventually marry, it is going to be worse. Any little quarrel the man will send her packing, is that wot she is worth.

Both families has to meet to finally resolve this issue once and for all. Girl, tell your friend to return his pride price and move on with her life. she will meet a man that will love and appreciate her.

Though u didnt tell us wot led to the quarrel or wot your friend did that made her "husband" to chase her out.
no matter wot, the "marriage" is way too young to be undergoing this major set back.

Make hale while the sun set. A word is enough for the wise.

Damysa:

Does your friend knows what she want in life at all? where is her pride? This is about the biggest joke I have heard in ages.
Please and please if she knows what is good for her let her do it. This is the height of degradation any woman can condescend to. She should stop seeing him ASAP and mind u even if they eventually marry, it is going to be worse. Any little quarrel the man will send her packing, is that wot she is worth.

Both families has to meet to finally resolve this issue once and for all. Girl, tell your friend to return his pride price and move on with her life. she will meet a man that will love and appreciate her.

Though u didnt tell us wot led to the quarrel or wot your friend did that made her "husband" to chase her out.
no matter wot, the "marriage" is way too young to be undergoing this major set back.

Make hale while the sun set. A word is enough for the wise.