Have u asked yourself the question, “Why Am I in this Relationship?

There exist many reasons why someone can go into a relationship, which every matured human have experienced at least once. I don’t want to dwell on the money, fame, power anthem of reasons why people date. I’ll dissect this topic from a plain view point, that’s assuming everybody has the same chances as regards the anthem of dating.

Pity

Among the top things that make people especially the female folks go into a relationship is pity. Why Pity? Most times one feels like this person have tried in the “asking out” business. Maybe the advance has been on for many months and you decide, “Its time I had pity on this person and agreed to date him/her”. In your heart, you assume that this person love you enough to stick around all this while and what you don’t put to consideration is the fact that he/she might love you, do you love him/her or is pity the motivating emotion?

Another part of this two edged knife called dating for pity is when one dates the person just because he/she feels bad for the person. Pity might be as a result of personal loss, low self esteem, negligence by folks, etcetera. Typical of this is when you agree to date someone just because you know the person have suffered enough recently (maybe in the hands of other opposite sex) and you’re avoiding the person suffering heartbreak because of you (that sounds like blackmailing yourself. Who is fooling who?)…. Let me rest on pity.

Jealousy

Oh My! This green monster is really a pain in the ass when it comes to matters of the heart. This plays a big role in a situation where one dates someone just because they want to make some other person jealous. This also comes into play when one dates because their friend(s) is/are dating and they’re not. This is also seen when you agree to your pal’s date’s request for dating because you’re jealous of their relationship. These scenarios happen every day, even among us, you surely know someone dating because of any of these reasons or probably you are. In as much as little jealousy is a show of true love, dates built on passionate jealousy tend to end ‘titanically’.

Ego

As a man, do you date to boost your ego? Am sorry to mention this, but most people (guys mainly) ‘date around’ just to boost their ego. For them, the number of women/dates they have is a feather to their portfolio. Ladies also are culprits to this ego factor. They have a date for every aspect of their life; a date for financial security, for emotional security, for companionship, etc. This is purely out of emotion; any of the other reasons might be understandable but this? Hmmm. Let me not dwell much on dating for ego because it’s a story for another day.

Fear

This is what I normally refer to as emotional blackmail. Approaching a prospective date I believe is something done in a serene way. Using intimidating words, tone and actions is unnecessary unless you have a thing for shouting or intimidation. I advise (ladies mostly); if you’re to decide on a date, don’t let fear put a bias to your decision. If you’re already in a prison date because of fear, ask yourself whether you love your date or you’re just afraid of him/her. If you can answer this and still remain in the prison yard, my dear, no motivational speaker can move you. You’re like the biblical Peter; Mohammed cannot even come to you. Your chains are in your hands, don’t give excuses.


So many other feelings exist that make people go into relationships. I don’t care what it is but your biggest mind bugging question should be, “WHY AM I IN THIS RELATIONSHIP?” My lovely friend will always call me lover boy, but it’s not about what You or I am called, it’s about dating for the real reason, it’s about dating or having friends for L.O.V.E. because under love u get all the good feelings.

As we approach the end of this year, let us masticate and reminisce on this and make our New Year resolutions (that we’ll keep) where necessary.

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PITY; there's no way you go into a relationship out of pity for the person that your mind will be completely there

THAT'S THE REASON WHY YOU SHOULDN'T DO SO IN THE FIRST PLACE.