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Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 10:11pm On Feb 22, 2019
Mizwisdom:



Please try to ignore that small boy called homeboiy, pay him no attention, he's of no value to you, you won't believe he's still a teenager who you can send on errand or use as your houseboy so please don't respond to him, me I won't reduce myself to that grin

Back to the matter, yes I'm talking of polygamy. Before your husband travelled abroad he has already told himself that he will marry a citizen abroad for papers, so that he won't be illegal in your country. This doesn't mean that he can't truly fall in love but it might not have been in his initial plan. It's not unusual for him to have left a spouse back home with the promise that he will work and send money home, this didn't start today. My only advice is to do what will make you feel less guilty. Try to meet his real extended family and make friends with his Nigerian friends, amongst them you will find those who will expose him to you (all depends on how down to earth you are) and you can make whatever decision you like afterwards


I'm sorry. I can't ignore him. Make feel bad for someone is very bad. He tried to give me advice. But I made him feel so bad and angry. That is very very bad. I never meant made him feel so bad. But I did it. My bad.

About my husband, I know he had a girlfriend before came to Japan. I doubt about her before. I know some his friends. One of his friend is very good person. One day he came to our house. When my husband said something to me, that friend warned him and told him not good what he said to me. He was not always his side. But He is not in Japan anymore. I'm still appreciate him. I know many his friends are like my husband. They are go back to Nigeria without Japanese wife and stay in Nigeria more than 1month. Some guys stay in Nigeria 3months or more. Not for business. And some guys lost work in Japan not one time. Yet they do same thing again. I really can't understand. Working is not Important for them? I know they need or wanna go to Nigeria. Because their family and friends are in Nigeria. But what about Japanese wife and their kids? Are they not their family? That is I'm always wonder.
About meet his family is difficult to me. Almost 15years not see them. I have no expect about that.
Thank you so much for advice me. I'm appreciate you.
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 10:25pm On Feb 22, 2019
error4040:


About the new Word, Am sorry if it sounded offensive to you
my advice to your english the more you keep engaging in English the more your vocabulary expand

Well actually Am not from East Nigeria, but I do have friends that once said that in a family A man is expected have a male child that will inherit his inheritance after his death, that in a family with No male but female this lead to his extended family members taking over his inheritance.

But don't take that as an excuse not to love your child & I believe your husband also loves his child

and lastly Your reply was not rude.

Noooo. Don't say sorry. I'm appreciate you. I learned new English!!! MILFS grin I'm learning English in here. Thank you so much.
I don't know which is East place in Nigeria. I will ask husband which side is his place.
My reply, I made him feel so bad and angry. Really so bad. I'm really so sorry for him.
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 10:29pm On Feb 22, 2019
Homeboiy:



I believe that the distance between my age and yours is like from Nigeria to Japan

I can feed your family for 20yrs

Stop generalizing

What statistics do u have to say that men cheats

Or Can u prove it to her that husband has a wife in Nigeria?

Nonsense

Please I'm really so sorry. Don't be angry. Everything is my fault. I'm apologies you. I'm really sorry.
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Nobody: 12:14am On Feb 23, 2019
@peacefull, you have a very beautiful mind, always learning, very kind-hearted and honest about your feelings and care for your nigerian husband. I never knew a japanese woman can learn so fast about stuff like language, culture and a large country like nigeria. you are a more amazing wife to him than any other woman would ever be, and that's why he is stuck on you and always coming back to you. that igbo man is your legal husband and my advice for you is to try as much as you can to be a better wife to him, mark me this day. He will always miss that special qualities about you and would keep wanting you for himself and never letting you go. all the best of luck in your marriage. note; this next msg is not for you please.
( how i wish me fit get myslf an oversea woman wey sabi relate well with ppl lyk dz, me go jst 4get family pressure and jst leave all these 75% shakara stubborn naija women wey jst dey misbehave lyk say marriage come with user manual. Me go cut out soon, bcuz he don dey ma mine since ..
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by error4040: 7:29am On Feb 23, 2019
GameKartel:
@peacefull, you have a very beautiful mind, always learning, very kind-hearted and honest about your feelings and care for your nigerian husband. I never knew a japanese woman can learn so fast about stuff like language, culture and a large country like nigeria. you are a more amazing wife to him than any other woman would ever be, and that's why he is stuck on you and always coming back to you. that igbo man is your legal husband and my advice for you is to try as much as you can to be a better wife to him, mark me this day. He will always miss that special qualities about you and would keep wanting you for himself and never letting you go. all the best of luck in your marriage. note; this next msg is not for you please.
( how i wish me fit get myslf an oversea woman wey sabi relate well with ppl lyk dz, me go jst 4get family pressure and jst leave all these 75% shakara stubborn naija women wey jst dey misbehave lyk say marriage come with user manual. Me go cut out soon, bcuz he don dey ma mine since ..
Nice write up bro. That your ending part got me real Hard grin grin grin
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by error4040: 7:31am On Feb 23, 2019
peacefull:


Noooo. Don't say sorry. I'm appreciate you. I learned new English!!! MILFS grin I'm learning English in here. Thank you so much.
I don't know which is East place in Nigeria. I will ask husband which side is his place.
My reply, I made him feel so bad and angry. Really so bad. I'm really so sorry for him.

You're Welcome I guess grin
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 7:47am On Feb 23, 2019
GameKartel:
@peacefull, you have a very beautiful mind, always learning, very kind-hearted and honest about your feelings and care for your nigerian husband. I never knew a japanese woman can learn so fast about stuff like language, culture and a large country like nigeria. you are a more amazing wife to him than any other woman would ever be, and that's why he is stuck on you and always coming back to you. that igbo man is your legal husband and my advice for you is to try as much as you can to be a better wife to him, mark me this day. He will always miss that special qualities about you and would keep wanting you for himself and never letting you go. all the best of luck in your marriage. note; this next msg is not for you please.
( how i wish me fit get myslf an oversea woman wey sabi relate well with ppl lyk dz, me go jst 4get family pressure and jst leave all these 75% shakara stubborn naija women wey jst dey misbehave lyk say marriage come with user manual. Me go cut out soon, bcuz he don dey ma mine since ..

Thank you for advice me.
In fact, I think I was very bad wife. I don't enven know if I'm a good wife or bad wife now. Somethings can't do my best for him like before. But somethings still can do my best for him. I was always doubt him when my feeling was he don't love me. I think trusting each other is very Important. But many times I doubt him. I think I had too much jealousy and I was always anxiety. I didn't have confident about he loves me. But I was always wanted be his special woman. If We have same feelings for each other, I think distance is doesn't matter. But I had no confident about his love. That's why I was always anxiety when he go to Nigeria. I don't even have confident myself. Nigerian women are very beautiful and sexy. Anytime when I see Nigerian women's pictures on internet, I'm always wonder why he married with me instead of marry with beautiful lady. Black women are very beautiful and sexy. How I wish I could have that beauty. I know I can't get it. But I can't stop take care of myself like skin care, hair care, do exercise etc. Because I wanna be a woman forever. I'm not rich person. I'm poor person. I can't buy expensive things. But I don't wanna forget I'm a woman. I wanted him to always think about I'm a woman. If I'm lazy about that, I can't tell him I tried to be a woman for him when he cheat on me. If He has a wife in Nigeria, I don't know why he don't wanna divorce me. He also said it to me. He said think about it if I think he is married in Nigeria, why he still with me. I'm always confusing when he told me that.

About learning, I like to know what I wanna know. I'm always having fun when I'm learning what I wanna know. But I'm not smart person. Learning something is very difficult to me. I still can't speak, write and read English well. Even now I'm using dictionary for writing and reading. When I read Nigerian News but I couldn't understand well, I'm always ask husband when I see him. I like exchange different cultures and language. If possible, I really wanna visit many countrys and meet many peoples. Learning about marriage is very very difficult. I'm still learning about relationship. I think trying to understand for each other is very Important. My important words is Thank you and Sorry. Always Thankful for anything is very important to me. Sorry is same. Very important word to me. If I made mistake, I must say Sorry from all of my heart. Not only from mouth. Also say Thank you is from all of my heart. Long time relationship or short time relationship is doesn't matter. I think that words with real feelings is very Important for relationship. Not even for only relationship with partner. For human relationship.
Anyway, Thank you so much for give me advice. I'm really appreciate you.

1 Like

Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 7:56am On Feb 23, 2019
error4040:


You're Welcome I guess grin

Good morning. I have learned many new English from you. Thank you so much.
From Japanese MILFS grin

I'm really learning many things on here. My good Nigerian teachers. I'm really appreciate.

1 Like

Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Nobody: 1:49pm On Feb 23, 2019
You are a very sweet lady and and everybody, including me, wouldn't like to see you cheated and abandoned. Your husband always coming back when he is in Japan, probably because you are a very supportive person and he doesn't need to be permanently on charge of all bills, he is comfortable coming back to a nice place and your nice heart. You are asking many questions here and I see you have many doubts, your heart knows something is wrong and you know it for years. And now, after so many years, it is up to you if you insist in knowing the truth and end your marriage or you wait and wait until you get older and wasted more years, then abandoned by him. It's very possible he will never tell you the truth about his wife and kids in Nigeria, probably because he was married before marrying you and if he tells the truth, his immigration status in Japan could be compromised because he lied marrying you. Or just he knows, being a bigamist it's a crime in Japan and he will have problems if he admits it.
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 9:28pm On Feb 23, 2019
Angela777:
You are a very sweet lady and and everybody, including me, wouldn't like to see you cheated and abandoned. Your husband always coming back when he is in Japan, probably because you are a very supportive person and he doesn't need to be permanently on charge of all bills, he is comfortable coming back to a nice place and your nice heart. You are asking many questions here and I see you have many doubts, your heart knows something is wrong and you know it for years. And now, after so many years, it is up to you if you insist in knowing the truth and end your marriage or you wait and wait until you get older and wasted more years, then abandoned by him. It's very possible he will never tell you the truth about his wife and kids in Nigeria, probably because he was married before marrying you and if he tells the truth, his immigration status in Japan could be compromised because he lied marrying you. Or just he knows, being a bigamist it's a crime in Japan and he will have problems if he admits it.

Thank you for advice me.
I was always wanted to know many things about Nigeria. We have different cultures and language. That's why I didn't think my marriage is strange for long time. Everybody are different. Marriage style is also different. Maybe that my thinking is also made me believe my marriage is nothing strange to me. Many his friends also go to Nigeria every year without wife. So nothing strange to me before. But When I joined here, I was little bit doubt him and started think about maybe something strange in my marriage. I thought I needed to know more about his cultures and himself. Misunderstanding and doubt partner is not good. That's why I asked many things about Nigeria. I wanted and still want hear from real Nigerian person. Only reading Internet and hear from my husband is not enough for me. Many peoples helped me and still helping me a lot like you. I'm really appreciate.
My husband is a good person. If he will abandoned me, Not only his fault. Also my fault. I can't only blame him. I decided to marry with him and stay with him. I chose it. I think When peoples have bad things, blame someone is very comfortable for them. Thinking like someone's fault, not their fault is comfortable for their heart and can heal their heart. I can understand. But I can't do that. My fault is my fault. Nobody's fault. I will face my problem. I can't shift my problem for someone.
About bigamy, Yes! That is crime in Japan. One husband and One wife. When foreigner will marry with Japanese, need certificate.

Thank you so much for caring me. I'm really appreciate you.
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Graxie(f): 9:48pm On Feb 23, 2019
Ma, you have a beautiful heart, many women in Nigeria lacks these virtues, thank you, i am sorry and ability to forgive. Kindly make Jesus your friend. You are a rare gem. What a lucky man your husband is, to have found a sincere wife.

1 Like

Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Nobody: 12:33am On Feb 24, 2019
Graxie:
Ma, you have a beautiful heart, many women in Nigeria lacks these virtues, thank you, i am sorry and ability to forgive. Kindly make Jesus your friend. You are a rare gem. What a lucky man your husband is, to have found a sincere wife.
Yes, he is very lucky and he will be very stupid if he loses her. Unfortunately the good heart is usually used, hurt and mistreated and in love it doesn't work to be a good woman, many men love bitches and abuse the good one.
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 5:52am On Feb 24, 2019
Graxie:
Ma, you have a beautiful heart, many women in Nigeria lacks these virtues, thank you, i am sorry and ability to forgive. Kindly make Jesus your friend. You are a rare gem. What a lucky man your husband is, to have found a sincere wife.

Thank you so much.
I had bad experience with Nigerian. Even with my husband. That is almost made me hate Nigeria and Nigerian peoples. I'm so sorry. I know every where have good person and bad person. But I was almost forget about it. Very shame. I met many good Nigerian peoples like you on here. I'm very happy about that. If I didn't marry with him, maybe I didn't know this Website and couldn't meet everyone like you. I'm lucky!! Even in Japan, some peoples have no manners and no moral. Even about me, some peoples think about I have no moral. Because of I was birth my child without marriage. But I never regret about that. I'm very proud my child. Peoples can blame me, insult me and hate me. But I will never ever allow it for my child.
Anyway, Thank you so much. I appreciate you.

1 Like

Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 5:59am On Feb 24, 2019
Angela777:

Yes, he is very lucky and he will be very stupid if he loses her. Unfortunately the good heart is usually used, hurt and mistreated and in love it doesn't work to be a good woman, many men love bitches and abuse the good one.

Many men love bitches shocked
I think bitches are for just playing. Not for serious relationship. And bitches also know that. They just having fun. Am I misunderstanding? embarassed
I'm sorry, I know this your message is not for me. Sorry.

1 Like

Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by error4040: 6:29am On Feb 24, 2019
Graxie:
Ma, you have a beautiful heart, many women in Nigeria lacks these virtues, thank you, i am sorry and ability to forgive. Kindly make Jesus your friend. You are a rare gem. What a lucky man your husband is, to have found a sincere wife.
LoL and Finally here comes the Religious folks With Make Jesus your Friend.
Someone is asking for Relationship Tips trust Nigerians to Always bring their Religious Belief grin
Madam she Said Earlier that she is SHINTO!



Please Don't take this personal
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by error4040: 6:33am On Feb 24, 2019
peacefull:


Many men love bitches shocked
I think bitches are for just playing. Not for serious relationship. And bitches also know that. They just having fun. Am I misunderstanding? embarassed
I'm sorry, I know this your message is not for me. Sorry.
LMFAO this Reply is Deep! grin
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 7:06am On Feb 24, 2019
error4040:
LMFAO this Reply is Deep! grin

shocked
My reply is rude again?! embarassed
Her message is not for me. But I replied to her.
I think I'm disturbing her. So I have to say sorry.
And Of course! I'm not playing woman. But I maybe only(exclusive?) my husband's bitch grin
Is that what you mean said "Deep"?! Am I correct?
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Nobody: 7:59am On Feb 24, 2019
peacefull:


Many men love bitches shocked
I think bitches are for just playing. Not for serious relationship. And bitches also know that. They just having fun. Am I misunderstanding? embarassed
I'm sorry, I know this your message is not for me. Sorry.
I did see many men living with bad abusive women and not appreciating the good ones.

and no, it's not about you, you are a very nice lady and it's sad your Nigerian husband apparently doesn't value you, even he doesn't take you to the hospital when you need it.
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by error4040: 12:30pm On Feb 24, 2019
Angela777:

I did see many men living with bad abusive women and not appreciating the good ones.

and no, it's not about you, you are a very nice lady and it's sad your Nigerian husband apparently doesn't value you, even he doesn't take you to the hospital when you need it.
This one weak me, I just don't know why someone would treat his wife the way her husband is treating Her.
For God's sake she would be sick yet he won't care to take her & see a doc or pay her bills.

What ever offense she might have committed or in anyway she offended him treating her this way Is Inhuman

well every story is Two sided, meaning Don't judge someone you don't know.

1 Like

Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by error4040: 12:34pm On Feb 24, 2019
peacefull:

shocked My reply is rude again?! embarassed
Your Reply Was Not Rude, you misunderstood what she ment
peacefull:
But I maybe only(exclusive?) my husband's bitch grin Is that what you mean said "Deep"?! Am I correct?
Yes grin
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 4:48pm On Feb 24, 2019
Angela777:

I did see many men living with bad abusive women and not appreciating the good ones.

and no, it's not about you, you are a very nice lady and it's sad your Nigerian husband apparently doesn't value you, even he doesn't take you to the hospital when you need it.

I'm sorry. I mean your reply is not to me. But I replied to you. So I think I'm disturbing you. That's why I said that. I'm so sorry If I made you feeling bad. My English skill is very bad. I really can't explain well. I'm sorry.

About my husband, I think He doesn't think my physical condision was bad. He knew it, But He thought not too serious. I think because of I got disease before. He saw it. That's why maybe if I tell him I'm sickness, He don't think serious sick. Because I could still go to work, could house chores, whatever I could move. But for me, I was really not feeling fine and doctor told me to come. I really wanted to go to hospital. But I had no money to go. I couldn't ask him to give me money for go to hospital. I just told him I wanna go to hospital but I have no money. I should ask him to help me. When I joined here and wrote about that, He was in Nigeria. I was feeling like little bit wonder. He knows I have sick, he always just said go to hospital to me, but many times I told him I have no money, He could buy air ticket and left me. Even one his friend went to Nigeria when his wife was sick before. So I thought maybe common in Nigeria. But I wanted to know and wanted make sure that is nothing strange.
If I had money for go to hospital or I could tell him I need help from him, I was not wonder or not problem. But maybe I wanted him to stay with me. Not his fault.
When my sickness got worse and lost my main work, I was feeling like little bit wanted blame him. But I didn't. My sickness is not his fault and I was lucky I had money for went to hospital. Just lost main work. I'm still working on second work. I still can't work like before. But I'm still trying to making small money smiley
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 4:51pm On Feb 24, 2019
error4040:


Your Reply Was Not Rude, you misunderstood what she ment


Yes grin
cheesy
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 4:59pm On Feb 24, 2019
error4040:
This one weak me, I just don't know why someone would treat his wife the way her husband is treating Her.
For God's sake she would be sick yet he won't care to take her & see a doc or pay her bills.

What ever offense she might have committed or in anyway she offended him treating her this way Is Inhuman

well every story is Two sided, meaning Don't judge someone you don't know.

I'm sorry for reply this message.
Yes. Every story have both side story. I'm always not judge only hear one side story. But many peoples on here, helping me and teaching me many things. I'm really really appreciate. My English is very bad. I really can't explain well. That's why I maybe making my husband like a bad person. I'm sorry.
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by error4040: 5:47pm On Feb 24, 2019
peacefull:


I'm sorry for reply this message.
Yes. Every story have both side story. I'm always not judge only hear one side story. But many peoples on here, helping me and teaching me many things. I'm really really appreciate. My English is very bad. I really can't explain well. That's why I maybe making my husband like a bad person. I'm sorry.
Hello, their is nothing to be Sorry About because no Human is perfect. what you need to know is We are All just trying our best no one is Above mistake.
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 10:06am On Feb 25, 2019
error4040:

Hello, their is nothing to be Sorry About because no Human is perfect. what you need to know is We are All just trying our best no one is Above mistake.

Thank you so much smiley

1 Like

Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by error4040: 10:40am On Feb 25, 2019
peacefull:

Thank you so much smiley
Is their anyway you can Share Japanese Culture with us ?.
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 11:03am On Feb 25, 2019
error4040:

Is their anyway you can Share Japanese Culture with us ?.

Yes!!! Of course!!! cheesy
If something I can't answer well, I'm sorry.
But anything you wanna know about Japan, I will try to do my best for share my culture with anyone who wanna know about Japan and Japanese.
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by error4040: 11:15am On Feb 25, 2019
peacefull:


Yes!!! Of course!!! cheesy
If something I can't answer well, I'm sorry.
But anything you wanna know about Japan, I will try to do my best for share my culture with anyone who wanna know about Japan and Japanese.
OK smiley
let's start with

1.Apart from you been married to a black man, How do Japanese see or react to Black's in terms of Racial view or Racism in General.
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 11:33am On Feb 25, 2019
error4040:

OK smiley
let's start with

1.Apart from you been married to a black man, How do Japanese see or react to Black's in terms of Racial view or Racism in General.

Some peoples don't like foreigner. Skin color is doesn't matter for them. They just don't like foreigner. But some peoples are always welcome for foreigner. They don't care about skin color.
Some peoples are afraid about Black peoples. Some peoples are admire Black peoples etc,
So I think person by person.
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by error4040: 6:02am On Feb 26, 2019
peacefull:


Some peoples don't like foreigner. Skin color is doesn't matter for them. They just don't like foreigner. But some peoples are always welcome for foreigner. They don't care about skin color.
Some peoples are afraid about Black peoples. Some peoples are admire Black peoples etc,
So I think person by person.
How interesting
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 5:17am On Feb 27, 2019
error4040:
How interesting

I'm married with a Black guy. So maybe that's why I can't hear any negative talk.
No one talk about bad things about Black peoples around me smiley
I just know about many Japanese guys don't wanna have relationship with a girl or woman who had relationship with Black guy or White guy before. Because.... lipsrsealed But also many guys don't care about that. They don't care about past.
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by error4040: 8:01am On Feb 27, 2019
peacefull:


I just know about many Japanese guys don't wanna have relationship with a girl or woman who had relationship with Black guy or White guy before. Because...
Can you explain why ?

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