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Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. - Family - Nairaland

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Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by theysg: 6:11pm On Feb 23, 2018
I met this lady few years back in Akure and I barely know her well when we started having intercourse. After few months of relationship she got pregnant and that is the beginning of the problem. She found out she was pregnant 3 weeks after she left akure for Abuja.

According to her, her family started treating her badly after they discovered she was pregnant so she left and came back to Akure on the note that she is been treated badly.. She request I give her money to abort the pregnancy, but this is totally against my values and refuse to take part in such.
She stays with me until 2 month till delivery and In other to have a proper care after delivery, I took her to my mum to look over her.. She had a safe delivery and now the baby boy is 10month old.

She suddenly changed recently, start to complain and begin to protest she wanted to go with the baby. When I ask her where she is going with the baby, she initially said she doesn't know and later agreed that she need to start working and she cannot leave without the boy.. I explained to her that if she takes the boy with her, she might not be able to take proper care of him but all turn to her deaf hear.

But yesterday, it got really serious and she wanted to leave. I was furious and ask her series of questions and all I found out was that she doesn't even have a proper plan for the boy and she said it to my face that 'if worst comes to worst she will go and abandon the child with her family in the village' and continue her life, but there is nothing I will ever say to make her leave the boy..

This insuluate that she is going to put that boy through strenuous life and would refuse to provide him with the basic needs.. It really hurt me to hear her say 'she might go drop him at the village'. This is the same people that initially rejected her with the pregnancy. So I thought they will only make the boy experience tough things if he is left with them.

Pls what do I do in this situation. There is no formal connection between us and I strongly detest her taking custody of the child.. How do i stop her??

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Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by madridguy(m): 6:16pm On Feb 23, 2018
Let her go and give her just 2 month before she return back on her kneels.

1 Like

Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by MichaelBukamzy(m): 6:27pm On Feb 23, 2018
10months old?? shocked
Don't allow her to go with that boy.if you want him to be groomed with love and care.

5 Likes

Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by thorpido(m): 6:33pm On Feb 23, 2018
What about your family?Can your mum or grown sister take care of the baby?
If your family is ready to take care of the boy then don't let her leave with the child.She has no plan for the child and obviously can't fend for him.

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by theysg: 6:35pm On Feb 23, 2018
madridguy:
Let her go and give her just 2 month before she return back on her kneels.

I'm afraid she might go dump him in the village and forget him there.
Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by theysg: 6:36pm On Feb 23, 2018
MichaelBukamzy:
10months old?? shocked
Don't allow her to go with that boy.if you want him to be groomed with love and care.

Yes that is what I'm trying to do. But it's quite difficult and Its not possible to tie her down with rope.
Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by theysg: 6:37pm On Feb 23, 2018
thorpido:
What about your family?Can your mum or grown sister take care of the baby?

Yes, my family wants to take care of the child but she is just the problem..
Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by madridguy(m): 6:38pm On Feb 23, 2018
Your baby mama is totally confused at this moment. Do you think the village people won't ask for the whereabouts of the father of the child? I'm sure she will soon call you to come and carry your baby.

theysg:


I'm afraid she might go dump him in the village and forget him there.

1 Like

Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by thorpido(m): 6:40pm On Feb 23, 2018
theysg:


Yes, my family wants to take care of the child but she is just the problem..
If you have the contact of her parents,you can talk to them.A lawyer should be able to advise you on this so contact one.
Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by MichaelBukamzy(m): 6:41pm On Feb 23, 2018
theysg:


Yes that is what I'm trying to do. But it's quite difficult and Its not possible to tie her down with rope.


Try more to convince her.hope they are well fed and taken care of
Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by Nobody: 6:41pm On Feb 23, 2018
Who said there isn't much you can say? Haven't you been responsible for the child before and after birth? You sound like a soft hearted person, and that's probably why she's been threatening to go away with the child when misunderstandings ensure. You're much the child's parent as she's. On that note, tell her sternly not to think of running with your child, but you can choose to be quiet if you're not doing what is required as a father 'cause it's one thing to father a child, but another to act like it. That said, why can't she get a job at her current place of residence since you've both been cohabiting?

1 Like

Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by Nutase: 7:06pm On Feb 23, 2018
How do people have sex with strangers without protection??

I comot cap for you bros.

Wehdonesah.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by GreatXpectation: 7:11pm On Feb 23, 2018
Good day my fellow Nairalander's

First of all I will like to apologize for disturbing you with my problem, Like the saying goes, a problem shared is half solved!

I'm going through a very tough time for sometimes now, things are very hard for me to the extent that it is my wife that is taking the responsibilities of the house. I'm ashamed of myself but nothing I can do.
I'm not a lazy man, I have my handi-work (Printing Works) which I do to earn a living. But suddenly things change, after a while, that was around late last year, I borrowed money (#11,500+interest) from Paylater to clear some debts, but unfortunately for me am unable to refund the money back since then.
Recently I got a message from paylater that the loan I took was severely past due, that I should make a payment today to regularize it or I will be referred to their legal team for further action. and I know that this will be so embarassing. That's why I come on nairaland to seek for assistance

Recently I posted on a thread here "https://www.nairaland.com/4338339/labour-presents-new-minimum-wage/1" that i need a menial job, but unfortunately i couldn't get any.

Nairalander's please help me I beg you!

Bank
Union Bank of Nigeria

Acct No
0 0 0 6 5 7 1 5 7 0

email
olufunmisegz@gmail.com

Thanks in anticipation!
Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by eniolorunfe: 7:22pm On Feb 23, 2018
A woman needs SECURITY!!! Put a ring on it and you go begin to dey get mouth as it relates to your "baby mama" and son. The last time I checked, it's not compulsory for baby mamas to stay with their baby fadas (whatever that means undecided) , it's only compulsory for WIVES to stay with their HUSBANDS!

11 Likes

Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by Nobody: 7:54pm On Feb 23, 2018
I think she is trying to blackmail you into doing her wish.

With time you'll know her wish.

Just don't fall for blackmails... smiley

2 Likes

Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by zicoraads: 7:58pm On Feb 23, 2018
AntiBrutus:
I think she is trying to blackmail you into doing her wish.

With time you'll know her wish.

Just don't fall for blackmails... smiley
You are everywhere cheesy tongue
Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by Nobody: 8:01pm On Feb 23, 2018
zicoraads:

You are everywhere cheesy tongue

Thank God it's Friday.
Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by theysg: 8:19pm On Feb 23, 2018
MichaelBukamzy:



Try more to convince her.hope they are well fed and taken care of

of course they are well fed.. i even make sure she delivers the baby in a private hospital jst to avoid any complications.
Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by theysg: 8:20pm On Feb 23, 2018
madridguy:
Your baby mama is totally confused at this moment. Do you think the village people won't ask for the whereabouts of the father of the child? I'm sure she will soon call you to come and carry your baby.

like totally confused, and im also confused at her level of confusion.

1 Like

Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by theysg: 8:43pm On Feb 23, 2018
kimbraa:
Who said there isn't much you can say? Haven't you been responsible for the child before and after birth? You sound like a soft hearted person, and that's probably why she's been threatening to go away with the child when misunderstandings ensure. You're much the child's parent as she's. On that note, tell her sternly not to think of running with your child, but you can choose to be quiet if you're not doing what is required as a father 'cause it's one thing to father a child, but another to act like it. That said, why can't she get a job at her current place of residence since you've both been cohabiting?

Funniest thing is she wanted to abort it back then and i talked her out of it..
The fact is, enough mistakes had been made and i want to be sure mistakes don't continue to happen, this is more reason i have been taking things gently with her.. i took the responsibility ever since day 1
Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by theysg: 8:55pm On Feb 23, 2018
eniolorunfe:

A woman needs SECURITY!!! Put a ring on it and you go begin to dey get mouth as it relates to your "baby mama" and son. The last time I checked, it's not compulsory for baby mamas to stay with their baby fadas (whatever that means undecided) , it's only compulsory for WIVES to stay with their HUSBANDS!

she is free to go anywhere she wants to.. i am more concerned about the child.

i have been giving financial and psychological support for more than a year, what more security did she seek again?

1 Like

Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by prestigiouslady: 9:02pm On Feb 23, 2018
Dear poster,
Your baby mama is a bag of emotions right now, she loves her son, and at the same time, she's thinking of her future, things like what will happen now? How's my future going to be? Will this man marry me? Can I trust him enough to leave my child with him? Won't my family do a better job of taking care of my child than his?? one of her biggest fear now is insecurity, fear of the unknown, of the future

If you can, why not try to get a job at your town of residence?? no matter how little to let have something doing now? Probably do not cohabitate, let her get an apartment in town so that you both can think straight if you really want to take the "relationship" to the next level.

Have you seen her parents? Not for marriage but for acknowledgement that you were the one that impregnated their daughter?
Let her know your plans for her both on the long run and short run...You can't just have a free woman doing Wifey duties in your house without doing the proper things..

I really think this goes beyond her leaving with the child alone
...ten month plus of living with you and you're not talking about "us", maybe she just feels tomorrow isn't 'certain' but will be preferable to the " vision less" today.

9 Likes

Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by MetroBaba1(m): 9:13pm On Feb 23, 2018
Uncle, How Sure Are You That The Child Belongs To You?

4 Likes

Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by prestigiouslady: 9:14pm On Feb 23, 2018
theysg:


Yes, my family wants to take care of the child but she is just the problem..

In this part of the world..most ladies will rather let the child be with their folks than let her be with the man's family... I really dunno why though

1 Like

Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by duduade: 9:17pm On Feb 23, 2018
But your preeek did not undetestedly the valley when you wanted to enter

1 Like

Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by Uyi168: 9:22pm On Feb 23, 2018
MetroBaba1:
Uncle, How Sure Are You That The Child Belongs To You?

..Too much sense is oozing from this post..
Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by roarik(f): 9:25pm On Feb 23, 2018
please dnt let her go with ur baby...d baby still small to undergo stress na.

1 Like

Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by Ishilove: 9:26pm On Feb 23, 2018
theysg:
I met this lady few years back in Akure and I barely know her well when we started having intercourse. After few months of relationship she got pregnant and that is the beginning of the problem. She found out she was pregnant 3 weeks after she left akure for Abuja.

According to her, her family started treating her badly after they discovered she was pregnant so she left and came back to Akure on the note that she is been treated badly.. She request I give her money to abort the pregnancy, but this is totally against my values and refuse to take part in such.
She stays with me until 2 month till delivery and In other to have a proper care after delivery, I took her to my mum to look over her.. She had a safe delivery and now the baby boy is 10month old.

She suddenly changed recently, start to complain and begin to protest she wanted to go with the baby. When I ask her where she is going with the baby, she initially said she doesn't know and later agreed that she need to start working and she cannot leave without the boy.. I explained to her that if she takes the boy with her, she might not be able to take proper care of him but all turn to her deaf hear.

But yesterday, it got really serious and she wanted to leave. I was furious and ask her series of questions and all I found out was that she doesn't even have a proper plan for the boy and she said it to my face that 'if worst comes to worst she will go and abandon the child with her family in the village' and continue her life, but there is nothing I will ever say to make her leave the boy..

This insuluate that she is going to put that boy through strenuous life and would refuse to provide him with the basic needs.. It really hurt me to hear her say 'she might go drop him at the village'. This is the same people that initially rejected her with the pregnancy. So I thought they will only make the boy experience tough things if he is left with them.

Pls what do I do in this situation. There is no formal connection between us and I strongly detest her taking custody of the child.. How do i stop her??
This is the result of thinking with yer deek instead of brain

1 Like

Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by CAPSLOCKED: 9:26pm On Feb 23, 2018
theysg:
I met this lady few years back in Akure and I barely know her well when we started having intercourse.

grin
Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by zicoraads: 10:34pm On Feb 23, 2018
AntiBrutus:


Thank God it's Friday.
Yea, you seem happy cheesy That's good. Very good.

Not this week for me. I don't have a weekend this week. angry
Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by Nobody: 10:58pm On Feb 23, 2018
zicoraads:

Yea, you seem happy cheesy That's good. Very good.

Not this week for me. I don't have a weekend this week. angry

You can say that again... kiss kiss kiss
Heya. So sorry about that. Hustle ha?
Keep it up.
Re: Pls Advice: My Baby Mama Want To Leave With Our 10month Old Child. by cococandy(f): 2:11am On Feb 24, 2018
You have as much right over the child as she does. Don’t let your child grow up without you because of marriage issues. I know that’s what this is all about. At the same time I can’t advise you to marry her because you both have a child together.
Just talk it out with her. If it’s not working, involved third parties. You people have to reach an agreement that’s favorable to the child. She can get a job near you or vice versa.

I can’t say I don’t understand where she’s coming from. But I don’t support her taking him with her.

2 Likes

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