If Cities in Nigeria were Human Beings.

Abuja:
That rich girl whose father is the source of her finance. She has connections in high places and that British accent. She's classy, beautiful with heavy make up on. She has all the latest gadgets is town, iPhone and all. Did I forget to add she attended the most expensive private university in the country? Well now you know. To add again, she's hot.

Lagos:
Handsome face, body with abs and all. Self employed, lives alone and owns a car. He's dating the Abuja girl. He's the only one who humbles her. He's a thug in a suit. Sometimes he goes crazy like them traffic on the mainland, one needs to be crazy in Lagos to survive and he's the perfect fit. His Abuja girlfriend gives him money now and again even if he doesn't want it.

Port Harcourt:
That crazy girl, smoking and all, sniffing even. She lives for clubbing. Every Friday night has her performing on the stage. She's the envy of the compound, no one really know what she does, she goes out in the evening and returns early in the morning. She owns plots and plots of land, heard she's building a house somewhere.

Benin:
We all have that one student in the class who passes his exams without reading right? Yeah. This is him right here. This guy just rakes in the A's and B's. He actually does his things mostly in the spiritual. He's always quiet in class but very vocal in the spiritual realm. Days before the exam begins, he just disappears and comes back. In the exam hall he sits and just stares. End of the semester, he'll be top of his class. How he does it? No one knows. His fellow spiritual people know right?

Onitsha:
Very rich guy, married and living well. Women, Hero (beer) are his worst fears. He believes in the motivational talk that says "face your fears". So he faces his fears with all his strength. Every Sunday has him in one hotel with a girl and a bottle of his favourite Hero. He despises those who are educated, not like he knows money rules the world, it's his god in a way. He has this natural hate for his English speaking kinsmen. The only English words he's used to are "container" "high sea" "goods" "money" "baby".

Asaba:
Across the Niger is his neighbour. Very quiet and calculative A typical guy man. He lives off women, like he's practically the sugar boy, he dispenses sugar to older women, they cloth, feed him. His Onitsha neighbour hate his lifestyle. He spends all his time on his laptop one sugar mummy bought for him. Spends most days in a hotel room than in his house. He's constantly on the look out for the law or husbands of his sugar mummies. He's handsome I forgot to add.

Nnewi:
Onitsha kinsman. Not the English speaking kinsman o, Onitsha loves this one with passion. Nnewi has a loud mouth. Just because he sells tyres and machine parts he thinks he has monopoly over the girls. Onitsha always warn him to stay away from his girls. Nnewi loves English but the only grammar he speaks is "baby I rove you die""baby I rove you pass my mama". He doesn't joke with food. Beer is for Onitsha as food is to Nnewi. Brothers from different mums.

Owerri:
Lazy girl. Work she nor gree. Her assets is her office. She is a walking mobile office. Anyhow you want it she'll give it to you. Name one hotel in Nigeria that she doesn't know. She smells money from a mile, she has the uncanny ability to see inside your pocket, taking a glance at you she can calculate your account balance. She's mysterious. Fake ass, fake accent mixed with a little owerri igbo, fake boobs, block head. Her sister is currently in knacking one boy in BBNaija.

Awka:
Wannabe. She wants to be like Owerri. She just started going to hotels, not that someone takes her there, she just goes and sits there waiting for customers. I guess she can't be like Owerri. Onitsha likes her, Nnewi too.

Enugu:
Cool man, fine man, but old man. Old man who doesn't believe he's old. He believes in the forever young shit. He almost broke his back trying to please Owerri. Yes, he's a sugar daddy too and he loves music. Something with the 042 shii he screams now and again.

Aba:
Humble man, smelling mouth, body odour, unkempt but rich. With all his money he can't even get a proper haircut, good clothes and buy common 500niara body spray. Tueh! Maybe he's stingy.

Umuahia:
Young man. Envy of his brother Aba. Clean and cultured. Intelligent and educated too but broke. No work after years and years of graduating from school. Aba like yabbing him, "school and no money, you're a dead man"

Abakiliki:
Local man. He's comfortable with his local thought and makes no effort to change. When he left our compound, he had no idea of the latest stuffs in the world. I just heard he got a new girl who is exposing him to the happenings in the world. Abakiliki is no more local o.

Calabar:
Come one, come all. Can you do? She once asked a guy after the guy must have bragged how many hours he can go "do you want to do before you eat or you want to eat before you do?" no one can actually remember which option the guy choose but what happened was, we carried the guys dead body out of her room the next morning. Slay queen in bedmatics. She divides and conquer like Moses. Nuff said. I forgot to add, she likes people husband.

Uyo:
Half sister of Calabar. Also has the bedmatics prowess but not like her half sister. What she has that her half sister doesn't have is her beauty without brain. Very local but forming uptown, village girl forming funky.

Warri:
Warri, Warri, Warri, dem go hear am na. This guy don mad. Weed and monkey tail don finish him life. Warri cannot talk without raising his voice. I wonder how he his wife tolerates him. Warri would see you and shout your name from a mile. Warri get problem abeg. Warri nor dey carry last, who ask you? Abeg shift.

Bayelsa:
Fowl that lays the golden egg but nobody dey look him face. His dad is very rich but Bayelsa is poor, how? Riches around him but he still begs for garri, more like someone who lives close to the river but uses spittle to wash his hands.

Benue:
All say ikonka, say Benue yam!. Say it again, Benue yam! Shey you heard that one guy killed one girl? He didn't poison her o, he just had sex with her. Once his Benue yam went in, she dropped dead fam, just dead. That Benue yam dangling between his legs don put am for many wahala. If his Benue yam jam Calabar waist, e go red o!.

Jos:
Who's cold hearted like this guy? Very cold. Can date 5 girls at once and break up with them all in a day. He once told a girl it over on her sick bed. She died from heart break the following day. Cold Jos, I won't be you, never!.

Kogi:
This guy like fight pass quarrel. When he parked into our area, Kogi didn't take long to engage in his first fight with the street thugs, he's currently king of the streets now. His body is filled with scars. Very ugly guy.

Ibadan:
The wrong type of girl. Very traditional. She once took amala and ewedu to cinema. She jarzed her boyfriend and trapped the poor man in a bottle. Tribal marks all over her body. Her statement starts in yourba, mixes up accidentally with English and ends in yourba.

Ogun:
This one get mouth. He loves bragging, more like shouting. Small quarrel he will pull shirt like he can fight. "Ogun kee you there" "I'll send thunder to kill your grandfather"

Borno:
He'll bomb you. He'll bomb anyone you've ever said "good morning" to. He'll track you and bomb you don't just make him angry. He doesn't speak much.

Kastina:
Intelligent but religiously held back. Religion clouds his intelligent mind. He passed though school but school didn't pass through him.

Kaduna:
Rich and famous. He practices two religions. They are in constant conflict of who will control him.

Sokoto:
He's that crazy neighbour screaming "No to the infidels". Turbans and all, traditional man, perfect for for Ibadan.

Kano:
Very rich parents, educated but religiously spoilt. He loves gold and the Quran. He's handsome, rich, tall and Allah fearing. Every girls dream.

As written by Asoegwu Kingsley
#fearless.

Very beautiful

You try

centred along Igbo region

Tuale baba

koolpal:
centred along Igbo region

even if Chris comes to take this guy he will run away

Tribal bigot

People like you will not knw peace in Nigeria

There is no town in nigeria called Kogi.....
Kogi is a name of state not a name of a town.

op you try sha!