MENZPRIDE:
You intimidates them, I guessed..

InfernoNig:
They probably haven't seen someone like you before.

QueenUtum:


Is that a reason to dislike someone?

BoweryGirl:



Was going through your previous post when I saw the bitterness some women threw at you! Pay them no heed! You sound very open and truthful. Trust me, these women who make you feel down are jealous and intimidated by you!

Don't let anyone make you change neither should you take any advice from those who spit bile.

I can't stand the hate from these salty hoes who have wishing been themselves Happy women's day. Fake women.

BoweryGirl:



Was going through your previous post when I saw the bitterness some women threw at you! Pay them no heed! You sound very open and truthful. Trust me, these women who make you feel down are jealous and intimidated by you!

Don't let anyone make you change neither should you take any advice from those who spit bile.

I can't stand the hate from these salty hoes who have wishing been themselves Happy women's day. Fake women.

Dimples129:


@ bolded: reads a lil pot, kettle to me.

IF you are new to nl, then you are forgiven for not knowing how trolls operate on nl. Those "salty hoes" were doubting if op's genuine or not. Nobody was hating on her.

My problem with the sister is this need she has for generalisation,(Again in this thread) she keeps tagging Nigerians to everything as if all nigerian men and women are exactly the same as the nigerian men and women she's met!

QueenUtum:


Thanks, that's one of the first posts that's made me smile. I know some women can be bitchy, it's like that here too. However I've never felt such hostility from other women until my visit. Surely we are all sisters and should stick together?

Dimples129:


@ bolded: reads a lil pot, kettle to me.

IF you are new to nl, then you are forgiven for not knowing how trolls operate on nl. Those "salty hoes" were doubting if op's genuine or not. Nobody was hating on her.

My problem with the sister is this need she has for generalisation,(Again in this thread) she keeps tagging Nigerians to everything as if all nigerian men and women are exactly the same as the nigerian men and women she's met!

BoweryGirl:



You might want to check a thread on sales of Diana Stalder soaps dated 2013, that account was owned by me. I have been on Nairaland for 6 years. Deactivated for some reason my previous account.

Who is a kettle? Me? Let's not even go there with this crab in a bucket syndrome tonight.

QueenUtum:


Not sure how many times I said its not all Nigerians...so far I've just been attacked by women on here for asking advice on my boyfriend which was supposed to be the whole point of the thread. In the UK mixed race relationships are not such a big deal and are very common. I'm wondering if your annoyed with me for taking a Nigerian man? Love is a blessing wherever you find it.

BoweryGirl:



Sure, we are! Don't let them bother you. You could check Sonia Ogbonna on Instagram. A foreigner that has sunk her roots in Nigeria. You all are welcome and love should know no bounds.

As for your boyfriend, speak to him. Hey, forgive our Nigerians who are calling you out for cultural appropriation.

Trolls on Nairaland will waste you even if you were their talent! Ciao!

QueenUtum:


Is that a reason to dislike someone?

QueenUtum:
I'm mixed English and Caribbean, born in England. I had lots of Nigerian friends at university and have visited Nigeria recently for a month. Some women were very unpleasant to me in Lagos and Calabar and also on here since I joined today. I'm never rude to anyone and try to be as friendly, polite and understanding as I can be. However many Nigerian women take an instant dislike to me, often before they have spoken to me. Can anyone suggest why this might be the case? My boyfriend is Nigerian and I would like advice on how best to make friends with Nigerian women? Please may I add it was not all women, some were lovely and very friendly. However the majority were not.

QueenUtum:


Thanks. Your one of the sweet women I was talking about. I'll look up Sonia, I did think Nigeria was a beautiful country though incredibly hot! I would consider living there for a while but found it difficult to make friends with other women. And yes I am getting trolled lol. If you ever come to Birmingham England we would make you feel very welcome.

MENZPRIDE:
You intimidates them, I guessed..

QueenUtum:


At my university Nigerian women were very intelligent and successful. When I visited Nigeria I thought many of the women were beautiful and had very nice figures some European women pay money for. Why would they be intimidated by me when I'm a stranger in their land, a bit nervous and trying my best to be nice?

QueenUtum:
I'd say I'm pretty comfortable around black people having grown up with a white mum and black father. I went to a black Caribbean church and there are much more black members of my family than white. The UK can be pretty racist at times and sometimes I've had a hard time from the white people here. In fact I'm generally used to black people being friendlier to me than white ones. I might make a post about racism in the UK but if your not fully white some people here can be very unpleasant and I've been called racist names since childhood.

I have plenty of black Caribbean female friends at home and genuinely have no prejudice against Nigerian women or women from anywhere. As for a sense of entitlement and being condescending....I don't feel like I'm better than other women and don't look down on others. The culture in the UK is to be extra polite which may seem fake or patronising but surely is preferably to being rude?

I have seen some white women in the Nigerian media who have moved to Nigeria, adopted the culture and been accepted. I was only visiting for a month and did not have enough time to learn as much about the culture as these women did. With time I guess I'd learn to fit in and become less offensive.

The women who were nice to me were generally my mums age. Seemed to be the younger women that were more difficult to please.

QueenUtum:
I'm mixed English and Caribbean, born in England. I had lots of Nigerian friends at university and have visited Nigeria recently for a month. Some women were very unpleasant to me in Lagos and Calabar and also on here since I joined today. I'm never rude to anyone and try to be as friendly, polite and understanding as I can be. However many Nigerian women take an instant dislike to me, often before they have spoken to me. Can anyone suggest why this might be the case? My boyfriend is Nigerian and I would like advice on how best to make friends with Nigerian women? Please may I add it was not all women, some were lovely and very friendly. However the majority were not.

QueenUtum:
I'm mixed English and Caribbean, born in England. I had lots of Nigerian friends at university and have visited Nigeria recently for a month. Some women were very unpleasant to me in Lagos and Calabar and also on here since I joined today. I'm never rude to anyone and try to be as friendly, polite and understanding as I can be. However many Nigerian women take an instant dislike to me, often before they have spoken to me. Can anyone suggest why this might be the case? My boyfriend is Nigerian and I would like advice on how best to make friends with Nigerian women? Please may I add it was not all women, some were lovely and very friendly. However the majority were not.

MENZPRIDE:


As a Guy, I imagine the skin of a " mixed Caribbean" to be something desirable, if the images I see in Music videos and Movies is anything to go by. With my little knowledge around females, they seem pretty jealous, envious and hateful of a new, good looking and attention grabbing chic around... While the Guys would be tumbling over themselves to sweep you of your feet...

Try n adjust to it, with time you would win some over when they realise you're not a threat to them, getting their own share of attention.

MissWrite:


I see. Well, you seem alright - like a genuinely nice person (judging by your interaction on your other thread). But you also seem to be making the fact that you're a mulatto the centre piece. And if you want to be focused on your "difference", you cannot be upset that people would treat you differently (like an outsider).

For instance, in that thread, the matter of your boyfriend's desire to bleach his skin could have been discussed without the knowledge of your own heritage. I know you only meant to put things in context. But the fact that you think that piece of information might be necessary to the discussion, may imply that you consider your light skin to have influenced his decision, or have some relevance to it. I cannot imagine why else you might bring that up. Maybe you think that his insecurities are heightened because he's dating a light skinned girl - you. And if you believe that he could feel inferior because he's in that situation, then you must be feeling superior. These are little things that happen when we aren't paying attention, and people pick up on them. So, when you tell him how much you like his dark skin, it may seem to him like you're just being nice and patronizing.

If you hadn't mentioned the fact that you are a mulatto before saying that a good number of Nigerians were obsessed with lighter skin, you might not have gotten the reaction you got from some of the females on that thread (because, who doesn't know that lighter skin is more marketable in this country?). What some of them might have been reacting to is the fact that you're presenting yourself to be something special (Intentionally or not. Check it na). Lol, it's a "pretty girl syndrome" and it's sometimes hard to cure.

Notwithstanding, I think you're a nice person and that you have no ill-intentions. People will eventually see that. So visit again sometime, maybe spend more than a month, and give Nigerian women the chance to get to know you better. In return, you'll find that we bear you no ill.