HOW WHITES DESCRIBE THEIR PLACE TO YOU:

My place is about 300 metres away from Elephant and Castle. Turn right at the round about and follow the A201 towards Old Kent Road and the first right is my street.The 3rd apartment is my place.

HOW NIGERIANS DESCRIBE THEIR PLACE:

If you get to Mbonu crescent, you will see one big gutter . Jump the gutter and corner left… Do as if you’re going right but be cornering left small small. Be going down down until you see one place they’re selling Akara close to one Mama put in front of one Redeemed church, opposite where they used to throw away dustbin near one coconut and mango tree, you will see one crazy man sitting under the mango tree. Don’t talk to him, he can stone you. Walk to the front and follow the small road in between the primary school and the Anglican Church till you reach the filling station then cross to the other side. Just stand there and call me or ask the woman selling cigarette to direct you to my place.