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Why Am I So Scared Of Commitments? - Family - Nairaland

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After Being Single For Soo Long, Im Now Scared Of Getting Married. Please Help!! / I'm Scared Of Marrying Her / Why Am I So Unemotional? (2) (3) (4)

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Why Am I So Scared Of Commitments? by Mobree: 7:15pm On Mar 17, 2018
I'm so confused right now.
For a long time, I've noticed that the mention of marriage sends me running. I'm a lady for crying out loud. Why do I have this issue?
I've a job...and my man has a good job too. I love him a lot and He wants to marry me soon but each time he starts talking about it, My heart starts racing...and I feel like I want out.
Tonight was the height. I almost closed my ears when he started.

Is it just me? What could be wrong? What do I do?
P.S-no insults please.
Re: Why Am I So Scared Of Commitments? by nicerod(m): 7:28pm On Mar 17, 2018
U will surely get over it dear

1 Like

Re: Why Am I So Scared Of Commitments? by SUPERPACK: 7:35pm On Mar 17, 2018
Marriage is a scared bond that binds two individuals together. While many people wait their whole life to be together forever with the person they love, the story may be different for some others. For some people however, the foundations of marriage are scary as hell. Any such irrational fear of getting married or committed is known as gamophobia.
Ithas been derived from Greek word “gamos” meaning marriage. Gamophobia is signified by intense, irrelevant and constant fear of marriage and commitment. The person is specifically scared to get into a marriage which implies spending the whole life with a single person. A gamophobic person’s fear of marriage is similar to the fear of dying. A gramophone person may be in relationship with someone, but drift away and get nervous if the topic of marriage comes up.
.
CAUSES OF GAMOPHOBIA.
1. Related Distressful Incident.
Gamophobia can also be associated with any unwanted and distressful event that implanted a negative image of marriage in a person's mind. These incidents can be divorce of parents during childhood, abuse from parents, seeing one’s parents or other married couples fight and quarrel, a previous marriage failure, betrayal from partner or hearing about unsuccessful marriages extensively. Any such related distress can be responsible for gamophobia in people.
.
SYMPTOMS OF GAMOPHOBIA
Major symptoms that can occur with someone having gamophobia (both in men and women) are: Irrational and extreme fear of marriage and commitment ( Even a thought of marriage or seeing someone else marry can trigger the fear) Complete avoidance of marriage or related events and discussions Aggression, panic attacks upon the thought or discussion of one's marriage Realization that the fear is irrational but unable to control Lost self esteem Panicking follows physical signs such as trembling, crying, racing heartbeat,trouble in breathing, nausea or vomiting, dizziness or fainting, sweating and abdominal discomfort
.
How is Gamophobia Treated?
Gamophobia can be treated using different psychotherapies and medications. The effective psychotherapies for successful elimination of the fear.

3 Likes

Re: Why Am I So Scared Of Commitments? by Windflower(f): 10:04pm On Mar 17, 2018
You are not alone o,I get goose bumps mere thinking of it including pregnancy and childbirth. Sometimes,I wonder if am up for it. When my ex mentioned that we should be planning for introduction soon and I wasn't giving a favourable reply,he felt I wasn't serious. I just ran and started crying and that day marked the beginning of issues. Its scares the shit out of me

1 Like

Re: Why Am I So Scared Of Commitments? by Mobree: 11:00pm On Mar 17, 2018
Thanks for this. I understand my issue better. Mine might be rooted in the fact that I've seen too many marriages go wrong.
Thanks again.
SUPERPACK:
Marriage is a scared bond that binds two individuals together. While many people wait their whole life to be together forever with the person they love, the story may be different for some others. For some people however, the foundations of marriage are scary as hell. Any such irrational fear of getting married or committed is known as gamophobia.
Ithas been derived from Greek word “gamos” meaning marriage. Gamophobia is signified by intense, irrelevant and constant fear of marriage and commitment. The person is specifically scared to get into a marriage which implies spending the whole life with a single person. A gamophobic person’s fear of marriage is similar to the fear of dying. A gramophone person may be in relationship with someone, but drift away and get nervous if the topic of marriage comes up.
.
CAUSES OF GAMOPHOBIA.
1. Related Distressful Incident.
Gamophobia can also be associated with any unwanted and distressful event that implanted a negative image of marriage in a person's mind. These incidents can be divorce of parents during childhood, abuse from parents, seeing one’s parents or other married couples fight and quarrel, a previous marriage failure, betrayal from partner or hearing about unsuccessful marriages extensively. Any such related distress can be responsible for gamophobia in people.
.
SYMPTOMS OF GAMOPHOBIA
Major symptoms that can occur with someone having gamophobia (both in men and women) are: Irrational and extreme fear of marriage and commitment ( Even a thought of marriage or seeing someone else marry can trigger the fear) Complete avoidance of marriage or related events and discussions Aggression, panic attacks upon the thought or discussion of one's marriage Realization that the fear is irrational but unable to control Lost self esteem Panicking follows physical signs such as trembling, crying, racing heartbeat,trouble in breathing, nausea or vomiting, dizziness or fainting, sweating and abdominal discomfort
.
How is Gamophobia Treated?
Gamophobia can be treated using different psychotherapies and medications. The effective psychotherapies for successful elimination of the fear.
Re: Why Am I So Scared Of Commitments? by Mobree: 11:02pm On Mar 17, 2018
I see you sis.
my man has been trying to fix a date with me too. All I give are excuses.
Do you think getting married will fix this fear?
Windflower:
You are not alone o,I get goose bumps mere thinking of it including pregnancy and childbirth. Sometimes,I wonder if am up for it. When my ex mentioned that we should be planning for introduction soon and I wasn't giving a favourable reply,he felt I wasn't serious. I just ran and started crying and that day marked the beginning of issues. Its scares the shit out of me
Re: Why Am I So Scared Of Commitments? by Chubhie: 11:27pm On Mar 17, 2018
It's kinda like preparing so well and having all grounds covered in an upcoming examination or interview. The calm, peace and tranquillity is unmistakable. You also know the feeling when you're ill prepared for exams or interviews.

From your aggregate experiences, what have you observed as a reoccurring theme mitigating against marriage success? Are you equipped with the right mindset and tools to solve such issues when you eventually come across one?

3 Likes

Re: Why Am I So Scared Of Commitments? by fancy4eve(f): 11:38pm On Mar 17, 2018
You need 2 let go of ur past nd move on
Re: Why Am I So Scared Of Commitments? by Acidosis(m): 6:44pm On Mar 18, 2018
Don't force it, the desire to get married will naturally come
Re: Why Am I So Scared Of Commitments? by sisisioge: 7:16pm On Mar 18, 2018
Oh my! Babe... You are not alone!

I honestly want to get married, have children, companionship , share bills, etc but I kinda have marriage phobia. I love to chase bobo or be chased but once seriousness sets in, I start singing a different song. I'm super loving all by myself but....Whew! I have nice exes.. .my most recent ex is still confused about me.

My final verdict is: relax, let tomorrow take care of itself embarassed

1 Like

Re: Why Am I So Scared Of Commitments? by Angy55(f): 8:59pm On Mar 18, 2018
sisisioge:
Oh my! Babe... You are not alone!

I honestly want to get married, have children, companionship , share bills, etc but I kinda have marriage phobia. I love to chase bobo or be chased but once seriousness sets in, I start singing a different song. I'm super loving all by myself but....Whew! I have nice exes.. .my most recent ex is still confused about me.

My final verdict is: relax, let tomorrow take care of itself embarassed

Hhmmmmm

1 Like

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