AreaFada2:


If you were applying for a visa to Japan, would their govt recognise trado marriage? It won't because it is not officially documented by any govt body. In the event of death, does trado marriage protect a widow well enough regarding inheritance? No it doesn't.

Laws gradually change society.

Sure we 9ja overdo things. But most women use the excuse of legal protection offered by registry marriage to press for it. In addition to church and trado.

I quite agree with you albeit you should note that protection comes from the man first and foremost by preparing and documenting his testament in case of any issue. After all the Bible recognizes customary marriage but then families were also protected by the patriarch in preparing a testament e.g. Jacob.

lukeosi4life:
I have read many comments on this issue. I noticed that must of the comments are not well defined. When you read the Question very well, the OP start the question with the word "As Christians".
As Christians, you don't suppose to have sex with your partner until you're join together as husband & wife in the church. God himself conducted the first wedding between Adam & Eve. God joined them together as husband & wife.
Wedding in the Church is a compulsory thing if you are a Christian. Having sex with your partner after your traditional marriage is not good for you. You are breaking God's law of marriage. As such, you denied yourself from his blessings.
You win parental blessings from traditional marriage but you win God's blessings when you bring yourselves in God's Presence (the church). And God puts walls of protection and seal of His blessings over your marriage. So, you must abstain from sex until you're join in holy matrimony before start having sex with your spouse.

So Jesus went to which wedding again in the Bible?

EverGlorious:
I know a lot people here are going to bash me for this but it's okay. I'm not the right or worthy person to say this but since no one here have no plans of saying this its good people know the Truth.

First of all, the true author of Christianity is Jesus Christ himself and not the 'white people'. This has been a sad misconception for a very long time till now. If I write a book and I want you and your whole family, friends and relations to read it and know it, and live by it and I give it to you first to read it and pass on, that doesn't make you the owner or creator of the book, you where just privileged to share it to other people. The white people don't own Christianity neither did they create it. And it's not 'black' mentality, for all those that'll always like to give themselves an excuse to do wrong. Well that's by the way. And FYI it's proper name is Christian marriage and not 'white wedding'.

In order for your marriage to be truly valid, three things must check, if any one is left out, your marriage is incomplete and may suffer in future (and by then the only people you can point at is your village people):
- the hospital
- the family
- the church

- the hospital has to check in the sense that the couple has to find out their compatibility status or else they'll be doing their children, their pockets and even their self serious bad. Compatibility status like your genotype, blood group, and any other related tests in the hospital/lab.

- the family has to check in the sense that both couples families have to agree and consent to giving their children away (though this is mostly the case of the woman). In some countries there's nothing like traditional marriage. They just fix a dinner where the families come together and know themselves and agree on what's up. But here in Nigeria culture, we do ours in an amazing manner where both families come together and the ladies family gives her hand out to the other family and they come to an agreement, in a grand style. This is our culture and this is good, very good.

But my friend your marriage is not yet complete, yes you've gotten your parents blessings, fine. But you see marriage is a special gift, a sacrament from God. And if he has given us such great gift, won't it be fitting that he bless it for us through his servants, our ministers in our Church?

- the church has to check in the sense that every marriage has to be blessed and bonded by God through His ministers so no one can put asunder. Yes I know, people seize this moment to point at the broken 'Christian' homes, cheating husbands/wives and co., but if you understand God you'll know that he allows some things just to test our faith. Constant prayer is needed in every marriage, in every home. Christian marriage is not to make your marriage known to the world, but rather to make your marriage known to God, to bring God into your marriage. It can be done between you, your spouse and the priest/pastor of your church. The misconception nowadays is that you must invite the whole world before you know you've done Christian marriage. And that's why many people shy away and give lousy excuses why it's not important and unnecessary. Now I tell you, a Christian marriage can be done between you and your spouse and a few family members. You don't have to do it big. Cut your coat according to your size. Besides the Christian marriage has nothing to do with the reception. It's just additional celebration.

Sorry this had to be this long. To answer your questions if you haven't gotten it by now, NO, Christians are not allowed to have sex after Traditional marriage because the marriage ain't valid yet until the Christian marriage.

I'm guessing your grandparents marriage wasn't valid then? Or your great grandparents? So at your age nah you are still a confused human being? OK do dey go

EverGlorious:


Yes bro of course it's "MARRIAGE". The Lady is given to the man and his family and the two are joined together as husband and wife, by "THE FAMILIES", by the families, don't you get?

Are you an atheist? If yes then fine, I understand.

But we're Christians by culture. And we should live that way.

You are Christian's by culture? Are you kidding me? You are not a christian by culture. You are Igbo, Yoruba, Nope, Hausa by culture. Damn many people here are mehh.

I would have loved to educate you on what you what a christian marriage is all about, but i dont think your mindset will allow accept my point. If you cant understand the simple, straight forward comment that i posted, then i wunt waste my time. I suppose that you feel that for a marriage to be called christian, a priest or man of God must do the joining! By the way what you call church wedding in Africa is merely traditional wedding in the Western world. what is most important is for the family to consent and for the joining to be done in Gods name (In Jesus name) by whoever stands as authority over the couple or family (it may be your church priest or pastor) and for all fetish components of our ancient traditions to be taken out of the ceremony, that's all. No need to duplicate ceremonies.
I expect that a christian single would have been trained and taught about marriage and Gods provision for marriage before he/she embarks on a journey of no return. It s also pertinent that whoever stands as priest and shepherd over such a couple during their courtship should bless them and join them in God and before their families.
I must not be in the four walls of a church building building before i'm joined in the christian way.

@davidque please can you provide Bible reference to support this advice? What role does the "man of god, Reverend or Pastor" play in marriage? When you say "joining to be done in God's name" what do you mean? Truth be told, we carelessly allude to God, what He did not allude to Himself. Marriage is an institution fore-blessed and sanctified by God. You do not need to "bless and join it in His name" before He bears witness to it. It is a given. Every man is born with God's blessing to "go into the world, multiply and fill the earth"! Some Pastors and Church leaders introduce doctrines and dogmas into the body of Christ, all by themselves and wittingly cajole people to accepting it as divine commandment. My dear, shine your eyes. Let no man deceive you. A christian does not need any intercessor to "join" him/her with his/her wife/husband. All you need is the heart to discern and understand God's will, the choice of a partner who should be your FRIEND in need and indeed, true love that covers all things and the consent of the family. I am a happily married man. I never brought any so-called man-of-god near my sweet marriage. We are happy. Fulfilled. Blessed beyond measure. Honest. Faithful. Contented. Above all, married for 6 years and counting. Our standard in the Bible and nothing else.

AreaFada2:


If you were applying for a visa to Japan, would their govt recognise trado marriage? It won't because it is not officially documented by any govt body. In the event of death, does trado marriage protect a widow well enough regarding inheritance? No it doesn't.

Laws gradually change society.

Sure we 9ja overdo things. But most women use the excuse of legal protection offered by registry marriage to press for it.

Customary marriage is recognised by law in Nigeria. Even if someone is married in a registry office greedy relatives have looted the deceased home and if that widow is not well conected and has a strong family behind her very little can be done.
Don’t talk like you don’t know what happens when those elders and older brothers are all sat down and start to share the deceased property ( wife included) once palm wine has been consumed!!

Japan does not practice English Law they register marriages very differently as we know it in Nigeria.

dfrost:


So Jesus went to which wedding again in the Bible?

Very Valid point considering that he was Jewish and they do not do any of that white wedding marlarky especially the Hasidic and Heredi Jews ....

EverGlorious:
I know a lot people here are going to bash me for this but it's okay. I'm not the right or worthy person to say this but since no one here have no plans of saying this its good people know the Truth.

First of all, the true author of Christianity is Jesus Christ himself and not the 'white people'. This has been a sad misconception for a very long time till now. If I write a book and I want you and your whole family, friends and relations to read it and know it, and live by it and I give it to you first to read it and pass on, that doesn't make you the owner or creator of the book, you where just privileged to share it to other people. The white people don't own Christianity neither did they create it. And it's not 'black' mentality, for all those that'll always like to give themselves an excuse to do wrong. Well that's by the way. And FYI it's proper name is Christian marriage and not 'white wedding'.

In order for your marriage to be truly valid, three things must check, if any one is left out, your marriage is incomplete and may suffer in future (and by then the only people you can point at is your village people):
- the hospital
- the family
- the church

- the hospital has to check in the sense that the couple has to find out their compatibility status or else they'll be doing their children, their pockets and even their self serious bad. Compatibility status like your genotype, blood group, and any other related tests in the hospital/lab.

- the family has to check in the sense that both couples families have to agree and consent to giving their children away (though this is mostly the case of the woman). In some countries there's nothing like traditional marriage. They just fix a dinner where the families come together and know themselves and agree on what's up. But here in Nigeria culture, we do ours in an amazing manner where both families come together and the ladies family gives her hand out to the other family and they come to an agreement, in a grand style. This is our culture and this is good, very good.

But my friend your marriage is not yet complete, yes you've gotten your parents blessings, fine. But you see marriage is a special gift, a sacrament from God. And if he has given us such great gift, won't it be fitting that he bless it for us through his servants, our ministers in our Church?

- the church has to check in the sense that every marriage has to be blessed and bonded by God through His ministers so no one can put asunder. Yes I know, people seize this moment to point at the broken 'Christian' homes, cheating husbands/wives and co., but if you understand God you'll know that he allows some things just to test our faith. Constant prayer is needed in every marriage, in every home. Christian marriage is not to make your marriage known to the world, but rather to make your marriage known to God, to bring God into your marriage. It can be done between you, your spouse and the priest/pastor of your church. The misconception nowadays is that you must invite the whole world before you know you've done Christian marriage. And that's why many people shy away and give lousy excuses why it's not important and unnecessary. Now I tell you, a Christian marriage can be done between you and your spouse and a few family members. You don't have to do it big. Cut your coat according to your size. Besides the Christian marriage has nothing to do with the reception. It's just additional celebration.

Sorry this had to be this long. To answer your questions if you haven't gotten it by now, NO, Christians are not allowed to have sex after Traditional marriage because the marriage ain't valid yet until the Christian marriage.

Brain washed fellow

MissRaine69:

Customary marriage is recognised by law in Nigeria. Even if someone is married in a registry office greedy relatives have looted the deceased home and if that widow is not well conected and has a strong family behind her very little can be done.
Don’t talk like you don’t know what happens when those elders and older brothers are all sat down and start to share the deceased property ( wife included) once palm wine has been consumed!!

Japan does not practice English Law they register marriages very differently as we know it in Nigeria.

You took Japan literally. It could be Germany, Indonesia, China etc. Or Australia, NZ, SA whose legal systems was influenced by English law but still unique. Japan does not require Nigerians to show proof of Japanese law marriage at embassy in 9ja. But paper evidence of 9ja lawful marriage. No foreign country does. Since trado marriages have no officially recognized marriage documents, it is as good as not recognized. Modern world and laws have no time for "word of mouth".

The message you did not get is that foreign countries recognize marriages that laws of a sovereign country can officially certify by way of official documentation. I have seen this many times in reality Across several countries.

Take for example you want to bring your wife or husband to a country like Switzerland or Sweden. Simply filling application form with "married" will not suffice. You will need to prove it with a marriage certificate. If only traditional marriage was done, and the sponsor (foreign based spouse) is in a hurry to return to base, some end up providing a fake marriage certificate. You know 9ja is very notorious for "genje" documents at embassies. Not saying it is the sole reason. But it is one of the genje docs.

As for elders drinking "palmie" and deciding over inheritance, even many of the elders are educated now. Some may even be retired lawyers, headmasters, police officers, etc.

Plus most spouses, especially wives, just want the law to be on their side. With that they are ready to defy elders if elders decide to play rough play with inheritance. Remember most young wives are not talking about village ancestral homes. But property acquired in the cities.
So the case of "Chiwetalu Agu" the evil uncle attending village elders' council in Nollywood films is not the modern norm.

lukeosi4life:
I have read many comments on this issue. I noticed that must of the comments are not well defined. When you read the Question very well, the OP start the question with the word "As Christians".
As Christians, you don't suppose to have sex with your partner until you're join together as husband & wife in the church. God himself conducted the first wedding between Adam & Eve. God joined them together as husband & wife.
Wedding in the Church is a compulsory thing if you are a Christian. Having sex with your partner after your traditional marriage is not good for you. You are breaking God's law of marriage. As such, you denied yourself from his blessings.
You win parental blessings from traditional marriage but you win God's blessings when you bring yourselves in God's Presence (the church). And God puts walls of protection and seal of His blessings over your marriage. So, you must abstain from sex until you're join in holy matrimony before start having sex with your spouse.

I disagree with you sir.

White wedding is a borrowed culture.


Biblically once you are married according to the culture where you come from you are married it's that simple.
In Nigeria we say it's dowry payment, in India it's different, different countries different marriage processes once you fulfill the requirement according to where you are from, you are married in the Eyes of God simple.

I am not against church wedding but saying that it's only parental blessings you receive from traditional marriage and you receive God's blessings at church wedding is wrong. God is present when your dowry is being paid and it is recorded.

Has anybody wondered why marriage committees in churches won't wed one with another person if one of the parties that intend to wed has paid the dowry of another person before or as a lady your dowry has been paid before.

Infact even if it's just court wedding you did its recorded in heaven that you are married that why I pity those who do arrange registry wedding.

Solemnization of holy matrimony is good but when you are indirectly saying that if you do not have a church wedding your marriage is not sealed by God then that is wrong and unbiblical.

Besides this question is coming up because a lot of my brothers in the east put a lot of space between traditional and white wedding. I know south west peeps don't, maximum 2 days both trad and church is done and dusted. When there is a timeframe of about 6 months or more between the trad and the white this question will keep coming up.

Besides a lot of Nigerians have turned white wedding into a jamboree, it really isn't about the solemnization anymore it's about show off.

AreaFada2:

You took Japan literally. It could be Germany, Indonesia, China etc. Or Australia, NZ, SA whose legal systems was influenced by English law but still unique. Japan does not require Nigerians to show proof of Japanese law marriage at embassy in 9ja. But paper evidence of 9ja lawful marriage. No foreign country does. Since trado marriages have no officially recognized marriage documents, it is as good as not recognized. Modern world and laws have no time for "word of mouth".

The message you did not get is that foreign countries recognize marriages that laws of a sovereign country can officially certify by way of official documentation. I have seen this many times in reality Across several countries.

Take for example you want to bring your wife or husband to a country like Switzerland or Sweden. Simply filling application form with "married" will not suffice. You will need to prove it with a marriage certificate. If only traditional marriage was done, and the sponsor (foreign based spouse) is in a hurry to return to base, some end up providing a fake marriage certificate. You know 9ja is very notorious for "genje" documents at embassies. Not saying it is the sole reason. But it is one of the genje docs.

As for elders drinking "palmie" and deciding over inheritance, even many of the elders are educated now. Some may even be retired lawyers, headmasters, police officers, etc.

Plus most spouses, especially wives, just want the law to be on their side. With that they are ready to defy elders if elders decide to play rough play with inheritance. Remember most young wives are not talking about village ancestral homes. But property acquired in the cities.
So the case of "Chiwetalu Agu" the evil uncle attending village elders' council in Nollywood films is not the modern norm.

Common law unions are recognised by law in most of those countries but because of people trafficking and other unmentionables of course proof is required from passport holders from Nigeria ..not so from other countries

EverGlorious:
I know a lot people here are going to bash me for this but it's okay. I'm not the right or worthy person to say this but since no one here have no plans of saying this its good people know the Truth.

First of all, the true author of Christianity is Jesus Christ himself and not the 'white people'. This has been a sad misconception for a very long time till now. If I write a book and I want you and your whole family, friends and relations to read it and know it, and live by it and I give it to you first to read it and pass on, that doesn't make you the owner or creator of the book, you where just privileged to share it to other people. The white people don't own Christianity neither did they create it. And it's not 'black' mentality, for all those that'll always like to give themselves an excuse to do wrong. Well that's by the way. And FYI it's proper name is Christian marriage and not 'white wedding'.

In order for your marriage to be truly valid, three things must check, if any one is left out, your marriage is incomplete and may suffer in future (and by then the only people you can point at is your village people):
- the hospital
- the family
- the church

- the hospital has to check in the sense that the couple has to find out their compatibility status or else they'll be doing their children, their pockets and even their self serious bad. Compatibility status like your genotype, blood group, and any other related tests in the hospital/lab.

- the family has to check in the sense that both couples families have to agree and consent to giving their children away (though this is mostly the case of the woman). In some countries there's nothing like traditional marriage. They just fix a dinner where the families come together and know themselves and agree on what's up. But here in Nigeria culture, we do ours in an amazing manner where both families come together and the ladies family gives her hand out to the other family and they come to an agreement, in a grand style. This is our culture and this is good, very good.

But my friend your marriage is not yet complete, yes you've gotten your parents blessings, fine. But you see marriage is a special gift, a sacrament from God. And if he has given us such great gift, won't it be fitting that he bless it for us through his servants, our ministers in our Church?

- the church has to check in the sense that every marriage has to be blessed and bonded by God through His ministers so no one can put asunder. Yes I know, people seize this moment to point at the broken 'Christian' homes, cheating husbands/wives and co., but if you understand God you'll know that he allows some things just to test our faith. Constant prayer is needed in every marriage, in every home. Christian marriage is not to make your marriage known to the world, but rather to make your marriage known to God, to bring God into your marriage. It can be done between you, your spouse and the priest/pastor of your church. The misconception nowadays is that you must invite the whole world before you know you've done Christian marriage. And that's why many people shy away and give lousy excuses why it's not important and unnecessary. Now I tell you, a Christian marriage can be done between you and your spouse and a few family members. You don't have to do it big. Cut your coat according to your size. Besides the Christian marriage has nothing to do with the reception. It's just additional celebration.

Sorry this had to be this long. To answer your questions if you haven't gotten it by now, NO, Christians are not allowed to have sex after Traditional marriage because the marriage ain't valid yet until the Christian marriage.

you talk out of sentiment , now show me in the bible that it only pastors that have powers to bless marriage. Once your parents bless you, you are blessed

MissRaine69:

Common law unions are recognised by law in most of those countries but because of people trafficking and other unmentionables of course proof is required from passport holders from Nigeria ..not so from other countries

Haba! Not only from 9ja o. I tell you what I know. What about Ghana, DRC, Senegal, etc?
Common law marriage is recognised if you both already legally live in that country with the usual proof of cohabitation. Easy to prove with rent or mortgage documents, utility bills etc. Equally fairly easy for authorities to bust.

The main circumstance in which common is "recognised" is when it suits their immigration authorities. If they want to prevent an immigrant marrying their citizen to obtain legal stay.

If for example you once wrote somewhere that you were married even without giving them any marriage certificate at the time. Even if you later claim it was only a common law marriage without registration. They will demand a divorce certificate! Prompting some to go fake both marriage and divorce certificates.

If for your benefit like bringing your spouse abroad they will not take common law marriage seriously. Even kids born into the marriage or relationship have to pass a DNA test first! I know some whose kids failed it.

Or your prospective in-laws want to prevent their son or daughter marrying a foreigner. They can send anonymous letters to their authorities that you are already married in Africa. I have seen everything I wrote above and worse even.

Many countries began human trafficking long before 9ja. I still remember the days 9ja women were extremely rare to see doing ashewo abroad. It was women from a certain West African nation. Though many of them had 9ja kpale after living in 9ja and travelling from there.

Fact is we are lackadaisical with organisation, record keeping and documentation. Foreign countries capitalise on it.

Talking of trafficking first consider countries like the Philippines, Colombia, Brazil, etc.

ollah2:



Brain washed fellow

OK.

MissRaine69:

If it’s thunder nothing happens
Lightening on the other hand ....now that’s a whole different story.

Ur beautiful