THIS IS FOR MEN ONLY.
WOMEN SHOULD NOT READ THIS
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By Bola Adewara
Follow me @bolaadewara
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In these few years I have spent on this terrestrial divide, I have seen how life treats men, especially in their old ages.

I have seen men work, labour, sweat throughout their youthful lives on their wives and children and I have also seen how they end up. My brother, as you are working hard to train your children and to make your wife proud, don't forget to have something for yourself for your old age. May you not be begging your children to eat in your old age. Remember, women can be jumping from one son's house to another daughter's house. Not so for men.

Can I tell you a truth? You are a stranger in that family you call yours today. That house you struggled to build is not yours. Its for your wife and the children! Seriously!

A friend sent me a story recently. Let me quote him here: "My grandfather told me that a married man is like a tractor that builds a road, does it very nicely but when the road is completed, they bring a low loader and carry the tractor away, claiming it will spoil the road! That tractor is never allowed to step on the road it built!

"Same is the case of we married men. We deny ourselves, get loans, wear used clothes, etc, to see our children through high schools, universities, etc because we believe that the only gift we can give them is quality education. When they are old enough, the fathers often become dispensable. The attention of the children shift to their mothers. May be these mothers poison their minds against their fathers, who knows? You hear a typical mother use languages like ...
"If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have gone to school.
"I sold all my gold, trinkets, wrappers to send you to school.
"Your father was only interested in alcohol and women while I suffered to pay your fees!"
(Now the tractor that built the road is being carried away!)

"Once the child starts working, father could have retired. When he come visiting his parents, the poor father is given N5k in front of the mother, while the mother pulls him to the kitchen to collect 50 times what father got... and the father doesn't know what mother got!

"Once the child drives off, the father is told to bring money from his pittance to buy this and that, buy sugar to prepare Lipton unless he wants to drink sugarless tea! These are some of the reasons men die early!

"A mother flies abroad to visit her children or go do Omugor while the father sits at home, buying and eating bread and ewa agonyin every morning! After six months abroad, she returns home fresh to meet father licking palm oil in ewa agonyin!"

Old age could be very lonely and agonising for men who did not plan for it. May you not become a liability on your children in your old age. May your children not wish you early death when they can't manage you again in your old age.

To live a happy old age,
* Build your own house where you will live in your old age.
* Build businesses, preferably properties, that will feed you in your old age.
* Create conveniences, start learning things that will engage you in your old age.
* Build friendship and goodwill that will serve you in your old age.
* Right now, start to be relevant in your Church, community so you could be reckoned with in your old age.

Old age could be lonely. An old age without money in your pocket is a slow, agonising death sentence!

Be warned. Take action NOW...!

it depends on the kind of children you have and how you treated them when they were growing up. No sensible person wants to see his or her parents suffer.

All I know is if a man wants to live long, he shd distance his mind from satisfying a woman. They're insatiable. And when they start their trouble, go to a side chick and camp in peace. If you have regular call girls, call them. Women are experts in causing the trouble they themselves can't take. Trouble big enough to cause bp, and when d big troubles land, they'll deny causing it.

Treat your wife(especially ) and your children well while you are young, you will enjoy your old age. A lot of Nigerian men don't know this. Women don't forget things, if you were carrying different women while young & hurting her, don't expect her to treat you well when you are old cos by then you are weak & she has the upper hand. A woman controls the mind of her children so if you treat her bad, she will turn her children against you besides the kids are not blind, they see how you treat their mother.

As for the children, if you didn't care for me and train me in school so I can be somebody in life, then don't expect even 1k naira from me when you are old. If you were not there emotionally for me, don't expect me to be calling or visiting you often when you are old. When I was serving, I had a roommate who spoke to her father every morning on phone. She tells her father everything, I admired their relationship and wished I had that. Tell me how she can ever neglect her dad in his old age? It's impossible.

It is the men who treated their family badly that are lonely in old age, check out kids who are close to their fathers, those fathers were there for them emotionally (especially ) & financially. Even if you have money in your old age, you will still be lonely when nobody cares about you.

Finally, it is not just fathers who get lonely in old age. Bad mothers experience same too, theirs is even the worst.

What of the case where both husband and wife work and contribute to the needs. It is no longer the way you presented it.

These days, both parents go to work. They come back together and the wife prepares dinner, baths the kids, put them to sleep, prepare them for school and do their homework. Who is working more?

The guy even relaxes more. And just on Tuesday at the hospital,a doctor said his brother's wife just put to bed and his dad and mum are traveling to the US not just the mum. And i see that happen often these days.

Things have changed. Fathers also bond with their children not just the mothers anymore. Men are becoming less bullish in the home. Children tend to get close to the person they can talk to and not the one always giving instructions,corrections,punishment.

Men be close to your children so that you won't start crying foul when they show their mum more love and attention in the future.

Slickchick:
Treat your wife(especially ) and your children well while you are young, you will enjoy your old age. A lot of Nigerian men don't know this. Women don't forget things, if you were carrying different women while young & hurting her, don't expect her to treat you well when you are old cos by then you are weak & she has the upper hand. A woman controls the mind of her children so if you treat her bad, she will turn her children against you besides the kids are not blind, they see how you treat their mother.

As for the children, if you didn't care for me and train me in school so I can be somebody in life, then don't expect even 1k naira from me when you are old. If you were not there emotionally for me, don't expect me to be calling or visiting you often when you are old. When I was serving, I had a roommate who spoke to her father every morning on phone. She tells her father everything, I admired their relationship and wished I had that. Tell me how she can ever neglect her dad in his old age? It's impossible.

It is the men who treated their family badly that are lonely in old age, check out kids who are close to their fathers, those fathers were there for them emotionally (especially ) & financially. Even if you have money in your old age, you will still be lonely when nobody cares about you.

Finally, it is not just fathers who get lonely in old age. Bad mothers experience same too, theirs is even the worst.

I have always said that a man/woman cannot sow the wind and not reap the whirlwind.

When the man was stronger and in power, how he treated his family will determine how his family will treat him in future.

I have seen enough people care for their fathers to know that fathers are not automatically neglected at old age.