ZIMDRILL:


you are too blind to see that, you are the person that you are trying to avoid to marry one day. you said you are supporting your siblings and friends so its ok for you to support your family and friends but the woman you wish to marry shouldnt have family thats needs support from her if she can?

think of it this way right now you are looking after your siblings so its ok if a girl dumps you if she uses your line of thinking ?

ZIMDRILL:


you are too blind to see that, you are the person that you are trying to avoid to marry one day. you said you are supporting your siblings and friends so its ok for you to support your family and friends but the woman you wish to marry shouldnt have family thats needs support from her if she can?

think of it this way right now you are looking after your siblings so its ok if a girl dumps you if she uses your line of thinking ?

mhizbel:
Well... My pastor taught me this: 'Find your purpose in life,, pursue it with passion and you will find your spouse in the process of doing this... '

franchasng:
Check my posts here on Nairaland, I am Pro-Igbo....indirectly a tribalist when it comes to politics, so yes, I am full blooded Igbo with friends cut across Nigerian tribes, and nations


I have Yoruba friends who are also in similar marriage mess...its not about tribe...its about choice...

gloria34:
I understand Ur point. i'm from a poor home (average kind of), trying to make way for myself, supporting my family then i will go ahead and marry someone i earn more than with financial responsibilities like me, even my spirit will not agree

franchasng:
Check my posts here on Nairaland, I am Pro-Igbo....indirectly a tribalist when it comes to politics, so yes, I am full blooded Igbo with friends cut across Nigerian tribes, and nations


I have Yoruba friends who are also in similar marriage mess...its not about tribe...its about choice...

My friend that married a girl from well to do family, my sister....the wife is a living angel...so respectful....the way she respect my guy and even us makes me wish to marry oh....despite that she is from rich family, she is so down to earth....also the one from poor family is also amazing oh I must be honest too....just the poor family background sha due to her dad died when they were young

God will help us sha....I know its never the making of some girls to be born poor....but just that our Nigerian ladies are wicked....once they have money they are wicked to guys....majority of them are, I come in contact with many of such prideful, disgusting single ladies and sometimes due to their useless attitudes and how they carry their stupid self, I just wish to treat every lady I see anywhere with the same manner, cos ordinarily, I am a very considerate and compassionate person, if u want to get me weak, work on my emotion....make me feel pity for you and I will become your mugu but if you act arrogant or like you know a lot, then you are in soup with me

Eberechi24:

Hook her up with franchasng. She's his spec

Boss13:


My brother don’t let people make you feel bad. If you are not on the right track I will tell you. I decided to express my undiluted opinion on this because many men are neck deep and struggling for their lives as a result of their marital choices.

My brother, women are the same oh. The difference is the degree at which they trouble you. Which would you prefer, a rich problem or a poor one? I know your answer already. A rich problem, money can solve. A poor one will give you high BP.

Check social media especially Instagram - who do you see the most. Rich kids don’t flaunt. It’s the wanna Bes. Those things are normal for rich people. I am currently outside the country responding to you on a different time zone, only very few people are aware. I don’t post pictures - Why? Who do I want to impress and why should I - that’s how rich people behave. It’s a normal thing for them. It’s the wanna bes that will eat seafood and post the picture for all their friends to see or sleep in Four Point Sheraton and go to toilet to snap pictures.

When you enter airplane, watch out for those gals taking pictures - it’s their first time or not a normal occurrence for them. That’s what being from a poor background can do. A rich kid who has been flying from the womb won’t do that because it’s not a new thing.

These wanna bes women are the ones that can kill a man, because they missed out on some many things and dreams as a child. They want to relive to experience and not on their father’s bill or time, but a young struggling man’s bill. That’s why you hear I cannot date a man that will not buy me a car. Ask them did their father buy one for them? A girl from a rich background already has a car and will not pressure you to buy one for her or even fuel it. Go and read up about Female Hypergamy - you will understand better.

Free poor girls. Have nothing to do with them. In marriage, family background is KEY.

pocohantas:


Will you also tell her your salary? because from personal experience...guys are even more averse to that question.

Once you ask a Naija guy that question, his gold-digger alarm comes on.

Boss13:


He deserves more than that. What he is saying is GOLD to young unmarried men. If you make the mistake, you can never correct it. Even if you divorce, that woman is still part of your family through the children she would give birth to.

I know this because I’m married and 97% of people I know are married too. Don’t marry a poor girl - Avoid it at all cost.

franchasng:
Story story! As if that's how you ladies marry too

Nigerian ladies are very cunning and wicked to Nigerian guys.

When a Nigerian lady from a rich home wants to date or marry, she considers the financial capability of the guy first before considering his handsomeness.

A broke guy dare not say hello to her because to her it's a taboo.

What about a Nigerian Lady that is working and earning good salary like 250k and above, she will never date or marry a guy earning below 300k monthly, that will be a big taboo for her. She considers men only based on how much money they have and not how handsome they look.

Go to US, UK. Canada, etc, Nigerian guys living there will abandon all the sweet looking chicks there and go back to Nigeria to find a broke, poor girl to marry and spend on her to become slay queen and then take her to abroad to become a modern chick, but Nigerian ladies living abroad will rather remain single till death than come back to Nigeria to look for a guy to marry and when they eventually try to come to Nigeria to find husband, they only target rich guys and guys from rich family to date and possibly marry.

They dare not date or accept to date or marry a Nigerian guy living in Nigeria and struggling to stand financially, it is a taboo.

Also a Nigerian guy earning over 500k monthly will just meet one fine broke girl from poor family and start to date her and shower her with love and gifts, and even assist her family and the next thing, he marries her and turn her life around for good without considering that she was a poor girl, but our ladies will never do same if they are the ones that have the money, so Nigerian guys must wake up.

What is good for Paul is good for Peter.

Guys marry your class only!

Stop stooping too low to marry broke girls when you have made it financially. Apply Nigerian ladies wisdom of going after rich and successful ladies of your class too, guys wake up

Me I have made it a priority now never to date or marry below my class.

I cannot date any broke girl, never!

I cannot marry any lady that earns less than 250,000naira monthly.

Marry like Royal families; they marry to keep their royal dynasty stronger and richer not just for love based on physical beauty.

Before u marry her, please check her real financial value and worth. Will she help u grow financially or help u diminish The world is becoming more and more capitalist by the day, so to survive and to build a good future for your kids, think like a capitalist; consider financial worth of your would be wife or fiancé first before u say I do

Guys go for your class, we need to learn from our ladies to avoid regrets

franchasng:
Not always true....some even after finding their purpose in life makes mistake of marrying the wrong woman which most times ruins their entire life and takes them back to square 1.

As a man, use your head when you want to chose the woman to marry and you won't regret.

Abraham gave his servant instructions on how and where to find wife for his son, Isaac....you don't marry anyhow and expect miracle to happen, use your God given wisdom as a man when choosing your wife

gloria34:
I understand Ur point. i'm from a poor home (average kind of), trying to make way for myself, supporting my family then i will go ahead and marry someone i earn more than with financial responsibilities like me, even my spirit will not agree

franchasng:
If u read my response to some quote s above, u will find my answer to the question of submissiveness of a wife.

Why is it mostly broke and middle-class men that are always after their wife being submissive

Don't you see wedding news of successful guys marrying rich ladies and ladies from very rich families, have they all died

I repeat, Nigerian guys should learn to marry like Royal families; they don't marry for love or physical beauty or submissiveness of the woman, they marry mostly to for Royal status, and for expansion of their family royal dynasty, which is why they keep prospering from generations to generations.

How many nowadays wife of broke or financially struggling men are even submissive to their husbands when our ladies are already trying to become the men of the house, so let them also come with equal money and financial worth, bingo

Jackipapa:


I married the last born in the family but the entire responsibility is placed upon us. Solution is to pray and let God help you as He is helping us by the day.

madampresident:
sorry to say this... I already feel sorry for you. Marry a girl because she is decent not because she or her family is well to do. It is easier to build wealth with a decent lady than to retain wealth with one who the only thing she has to offer is coming from a well to do home.

cherriex:


Oga well done but don't be too proud, I know almost everything about everything too, I am a typical Virgo, I have a bookshelf full of books from religion (Christianity, Islam, Bhudaisim, Hinduism, Kabbalah, etc) authors, plants, animals, world history and almost everything u mentioned, but sorry to burst your bubbles, you still don't know it all, you haven't figured it out all and the foolishest (no word as such, by the way) of all things will still damn you, do not boast of your wisdom, it's not a wise thing to do, a lot of us are born with wisdom, insight and high intuitions,some of us can predicts things and it occurs with exact precision, just try and be humble.Anyways your future wife go hear am.

OdogwuMike:
I have a little questions to ask the gurus here though. It has been bothering me for a while now, and I have been pondering on the thoughts...

I have a gf, 4 years relationship, she's an average girl from an average background. The same with me.

My girl is a very good person. Over the years, she has known me so much, and I the same.

Honestly, apart from this financial issue, I honestly have no problem with her. She's a complete wife material.

But I have learnt from my experiences that love truly can only be sustained with money. Many things could have gone sour/wrong in our relationship if I never intervened with MONEY.

The thing is, she's a fresh graduate. Still struggling and looking for a job, but at this time, I have been the one virtually financing this relationship for all these years now.

The only issue right now is that I'm still trying to find a perfect footing for myself. And all these is having a financial implication for me, my savings dwindling.

I really want to marry this girl, once I'm ready, but I fear she might not be financial stable too by then.

I have personally seen my two uncles and a friend go down financially because of the marital choices they made. They are all regretting, but it's already too late. I don't want to make that mistake they made .


If u wia in my shoe, what would u do? Will u give the relationship more time, or break up with her. Cause honestly, the last thing I want to do is to make her waste her time waiting for me...

I really do not need any girl's money, otherwise I won't even be in this relationship for years now. All I want is a financially independent woman. I want the future of my kids to be secured.


Please no emotional answer, just logical and realistic responses.

Thanks.

Boss13:
my dear nothing is permanent even the earth itself is not permanent,talk more of people.

Story - have you never heard of the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer. Do you think rich people are stupid?

franchasng:
hahahahaha, easy oh, there are sweet ladies among Nigerian ladies oh, sweet and financially valuable ones who are not parasite, and not wicked and prideful like some fools

If u are ready to settle, talk to your mom, aunts, valuable friends, and be active on worthy online discussion forums like Nairaland and believe me u will find one.

Don't write off all our ladies, cos there are amazing ones; I have friends married to great ladies and they inspire me too, so don't give up on our ladies pls

OdogwuMike:
Wow. Thanks so much Boss13 for ur logical responds.

We learn everyday, and I'm truly humbled/ marveled at ur wisdom.

You are a logical and realistic person. Truly people like u succeed simple because u let no emotional stuff weigh u down.

Nigerian's capitalist economy doesn't give room for anything other than logic, and in my case, I must use logic in making this very important decision.

Can't tell u enough how much I appreciate ur factual and emotional devoid response.

Thanks once again...

CHoccolaTE:


Don't mind the bloody hypocrites

gloria34:
I understand Ur point. i'm from a poor home (average kind of), trying to make way for myself, supporting my family then i will go ahead and marry someone i earn more than with financial responsibilities like me, even my spirit will not agree

franchasng:
hahahahaha, easy oh, there are sweet ladies among Nigerian ladies oh, sweet and financially valuable ones who are not parasite, and not wicked and prideful like some fools

If u are ready to settle, talk to your mom, aunts, valuable friends, and be active on worthy online discussion forums like Nairaland and believe me u will find one.

Don't write off all our ladies, cos there are amazing ones; I have friends married to great ladies and they inspire me too, so don't give up on our ladies pls

Daeylar:


Real hypocrites. The thread was full of nice helpful answers from his fellow men (notice, men support their own ) and women, but let it be a woman, the way some men will jump in and call her golddigger, olosho. OMG.
one of the most aggravating things you'll see are some women who are trying their hardest to please misogynists on this site will take to bashing their fellow woman so (the misogynists) will stroke their(such women) ego and call them objective, e.t.c

It just shows you, men are bashing women for the same thing they would do if they were women, because if men are looking for financially stable partners as men, just imagine what they would do if they were women.

franchasng:
Preach on bra!

Nigerian women are smarter than Nigerian men when it comes to marriage!

Nigerian ladies marry for financial security and future security while Nigerian men marry for physical beauty and useless submissiveness

Royal families and political families and long rich families use marriage to seal more financial, political and business ties while poor, average and middle-class men use marriage to incur more financial debts and problems into their life, which most times lead to their eventual future downfall and children sufferings , it has to change

It is time Nigerian guys start to marry right.

Stop going after poor ladies who are financial burdens just because you assume she will be submissive more than the ladies doing well financially, its all fallacy created by we Nigerian guys and by Hollywood films

Elder0001:
One more thing, if you're a man who doesn't support feminism/gender equality but you hope to or want to share bills with your wife ..God will punish you in ten folds

You can't be claiming alpha male and dictating to her while still reaping the fruits meant for only sane beta males like me.

pansophist:


You are comparing apple and orange here. Requiring women to be financially independent is not bashing (even though as a rule, women require such from their men). Men desire financially stable partners to avoid been leeched on by her and her family. Nigerian women desire a financially stable man so they can leech on him. Two different things.

A woman of worth will be focused on what she brings to the matrimonial table, not only what she will take. The world is progressing towards brutal capitalism that has tickled down and requires the reformation of gender relationship (thanks to feminism), and women rewarded just for being women is a thing that will be obsolete in the distance future. This is what equality looks like, it comes with equal responsibility.

I also do not think men are against women who desire financially stable partners, it is about not being taking for a ride and seen as a cow to endlessly milk from. It is about support even during hard times and having a wife that loves him regardless of his material possessions.

seems uncomplicated to me.

yettymuse:
The narrative has finally changed! Nice one! Bravo!!!

At least for obvious reasons there wouldn't be any reason for name calling from either of the gender, we go all dey alright!

My hunt for a well-to-do man has just skyrocketed! I won't suffer this hard to get to this level and then settle with a Broke morafucker! Tueh!
may the odds be in my favor.