5 Questions Most Feared By Men - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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Some Funny Quotes On Marriage Made By Men… / The 5 Questions Most Feared By Men / 5 Questions Most Feared By Men. (2) (3) (4)
| 5 Questions Most Feared By Men by femionasan(m): 9:46am On Mar 26, 2007 |
1. What are you thinking about? 2. Do you love me? 3. Do I look fat in this? 4. Do you think she is prettier than me? 5. What would you do if I died? What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e. tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses. Question #1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following: a. "Football." b. "Golf." c. "How fat you are." d. "How I would spend the insurance money if you died." Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!" Question #2: Do you love me? The proper response is: "Yes!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include: a. "Oh yeah, sh*tloads." b. "Would it make you feel better if I said yes?" c. "That depends on what you mean by love." d. "Does it matter?" e. "Who, me?" Question #3: Do I look fat? The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect answers are: a. "Compared to what?" b. "I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin." c. "A little extra weight looks good on you." d. "I've seen fatter." e. "Sorry, what did you say? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died." Question #4: Do you think she's prettier than me? Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect responses include: a. "Yes, but you have a better personality." b. "Not prettier, but definitely thinner." c. "Not as pretty as you when you were her age." d. "Define pretty." e. "Sorry what did you say? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died." Question #5: What would you do if I died? A definite no-win question. (The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Ferrari and a boat."  No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along these lines: Woman: Would you get married again? Man: Definitely not! Woman: Why not -- don't you like being married? Man: Of course I do. Woman: Then why wouldn't you remarry? Man: Okay, I'd get married again. Woman: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face) Man: (audible groan) Woman: Would you sleep with her in our bed? Man: Where else would we sleep? Woman: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her? Man: That would seem like the proper thing to do. Woman: And would you let her use my golf clubs? Man: She can't use them -- she's left-handed. Woman: (silence) Man: Sh*t. |
| Re: 5 Questions Most Feared By Men by sbucareer(f): 10:17am On Mar 26, 2007 |
Keep her busy you would not have time to all these question and answers. Besides what are you doing at home to be asked these questions? Go and work and provide money for her to go to gym or something else to do. Low esteem girls/women ask such pitiful questions. Off course once you get married both men/women definitely tend to put on weight. It is more sided to the women because their bear child(ren) and spend some considerable amount to their lives at home, bring up these children (Your children). About men, there is no excuse to get fat. Those lazy ones that sits in front of TV and watch football and etc and drink bear and do little activity, the next thing you see, they jump into their car and off to work and sit in front of computer and chat to another girls on the internet and do little work. After work they are off to the pub and drink more bear and say something in the line that heaven and earth is on earth. That if you have money, you are in heaven and if your poor you are in hell, that the curse of women (their wife) problem is that they eat to much and sit at home and do nothing. What a sad man talk. Listen, our women are gold and our treasure and we would appreciate them. You will never know the powers of a women till you get married. They have their own powers and independent thoughts. That is why our country is not moving forward, because we only see them as strumpet. Finally, if you want to be happily married (African men) respect your wife and treat her as you would be treated. Fat, XFat, big, XBig, they are all beautiful. If a nice man pick her up and look after her nicely (You longer troth) will be there, oleshi! |
| Re: 5 Questions Most Feared By Men by femionasan(m): 10:34am On Mar 26, 2007 |
Hey man this is the jokes section. You dont need to take that serioulsy. Ok!!! |
| Re: 5 Questions Most Feared By Men by Nikegenius(f): 11:25am On Mar 26, 2007 |
@Femi Nice joke.  @sbucareer. It was just a joke. Thanks for supporting us anyway. |
| Re: 5 Questions Most Feared By Men by Christino(m): 12:03am On Mar 28, 2007 |
SBUcareer is a hardwired programmer, a robot, programmed to love his women and he aint swallowing no jokes!  |
| Re: 5 Questions Most Feared By Men by femionasan(m): 7:21am On Mar 28, 2007 |
lol!!! |
| Re: 5 Questions Most Feared By Men by bunmii(f): 7:26am On Mar 28, 2007 |
femionasan: u in big trouble lol |
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