norrisman:

Thanks Pokerface, Creamish and Bigrod

I know my story was a bit too long so probably not everyone understood me properly

@ Bigrod

I do not want approval to go ahead and cheat on my wife with Shade. I completely disposed of any thoughts of having sex with her once I had gone on a second date with her and found her to be wonderful person. I continued to see her becuase there was an aura about her and I just had the urge to help her even though I could lay my finger on what the problem was.

My problem really is how to tell her what the real situation is without her thinking I am only saying it because I now know about her condition. God knows I only had good intentions (from the second date that is)

norrisman:

This story is not about me or about my wife but about Shade, a wonderful lady so please I do not need advise on what to do about my own relationship rather I need advise on how to open up to this wonderful lady.

norrisman:

I am married with one kid and I love my wife but our sex life is almonst non existent. I decided that it wouldnt be a smart thing to end a marriage based on lack of sex alone when every other part of the marriage is almost perfect.

norrisman:

Anyway I decided to get a girlfriend. My friend introduced me to Shade (not real name of course) and basically told me to hit that. I am a very considerate guy and try my best not to hurt anyone (I am not perfect of course). On the first night I met her I thought to myself, I could hit that. She is well pretty so it wasnt hard lusting after her. We went on a second date and by the end of the night, I knew she wasnt one I could hit it and quit it with. She was such a wonderful person, she sounded a little bit like my sister and looked like a girl I had a relationship with long ago. From then on I didnt even think of sex with Shade. I just enjoyed her company and liked her more like a sister (honestly)

From the things Shade always spoke about, I knew she had been through a lot but I just couldnt place what it was. Since we went on the second date, I always had this urge to take care of her, you know, just always felt like doing something for her. Anyway we went out on a Saturday night about a week later and on I spoke to her during the day on Sunday after. On Monday morning, Shade sent me a text that she had been admitted to the hospital and I called her and we spoke. She said something while we spoke which gave me a clue about what may be wrong with her, she said the doctors had a hard time finding any veins on her. I had an idea what it could be but thought to myself, Hell NO! Shade doesnt look it, no bloody way!

On Tuesday, Shade opened up to me and told me she suffers from sickle cell anaemia! It felt like I had been smashed on the head with a hammer. I cried and just couldnt understand why her? I thought back to first night I met Shade. I asked her if she worked or went to college and she said she did nothing. I said 'I will like to be ilke you when I grow up' to which she replied 'You shouldnt say that because you dont understand' I am very observant and I noticed she was hurt by what I said but she glossed over it. At that point I had already stated warming up to her and I thought she had immigration issues which I thought to myself money could solve. When Shade told me about her condition, I felt so helpless, first time in my life that I had absolutely no ability to influence a situation and I cried again.

Shade is now back home and is getting stronger. Like I said from the time we went on a second date, the thoughts of sleeping with Shade were almost non existent. I told my friend who introduced her to me that I couldnt do that to her becuase I had really warmed up to her and just couldnt do that to her. My friend though I was a chump and said I was slacking. Please bear in mind that I already decided against playing her long before I found out about her condition.

I think Shade likes me cos she asked me what my plan B was right after she told me about her condition. I am so confused and dont know what to do. I could opt to switch off my phone and ignore her for a few weeks and hope it blows over but my conscience would kill me and I just couldnt deal with it. The second option is to come out clean to her just like I have told my story to you guys with a very strong chance she,ll hate me forever. I dont want her to hate me. I just want to be there for her but I am confused. Please help!

norrisman:

Like I said I do not need advise about the relationship with my wife and I know I messed up big time so go softly on the dissing. what I really want from you guys is what to do with regards to Shade.

28Schweet:



your even more silly than i though for thinking you only have to have s-e-x to be unfaithful  

I laughed after the first few lines.

@OP,
Sorry but you are deluding yourself. . . 'i'm a considerate guy and try my best not to hurt anyone' looooooooooooool.  We should all be that considerate .

As you make your bed, so shall you lay on it.  Someone will get hurt. . .Shade, your wife or yourself.  Inevitable. . .best resign yourself to it and just do it - tell her (Shade) the truth.  Your wife own na another case.  Procrastination will on make it a bigger issue.

odiaero:

*passing by*

My friend introduced me to Shade (not real name of course) and basically told me to hit that