linearity:
Give him time, if you guys were true friends as you have indicated, he will definitely reconnect with you.

The truth is, going abroad especially with a visa and no work permit is very difficult. Even those who have work permit before traveling abroad are having it very difficult. You get discriminated against based on the color of your skin and the way you talk.

Many have many problems they had to sort through, I don't think, the issue with him is saying 'Hi' back to you. Many feel disappointed, dejected and depressed when they come face to face with the reality on ground, but despite all that, they struggle to put a good showing. If they call back home and say things are not good for them abroad, people back home will not believe them, some will even curse them and say they are there in abroad 'wasting their visa'.

The other thing is, when you travel abroad; the list of people that depend on you or call you for one thing or the other increase through the roof and you truly don't know what will follow the next "Hi" or call from home; so many just adopt the "maintaining the low profile" strategy until their head is above the water a little bit.

If you are a true friend, once in a while; instead of just "Hi"; send him a lengthy message. Things like birthday wishes, telling him you know it is hard, but let him keep fighting....try to differentiate yourself from the other myriad of people who hide behind a "Hi" to request for this and that...and he will open up to you about what he is going through....you will better appreciate and understand him.

Don't read much meaning into him sending his gf money....he might not even know the gf is cheating on him in Nigeria like you indicated and he might just be thinking, she is a wife-material....even in Nigeria, it is common place for guys to be more close to their gf compare to their best friends and if it comes to choosing just one, some guys even in Nigeria will choose their gf over their best friend....so, sending his gf money and not even responding to your "Hi" does not mean, he picked up that trait merely because he traveled out or trying to 'act big'.

Very few Nigerians who work really hard for their money and leave abroad 'act big' because they themselves know the dehumanizing jobs and situations through which they make that money, some can't even disclose to you what the do to earn that money because they are ashamed that you will laugh at them. Most of those who show-up and 'act big', did not really struggle hard to make that money, so they do not know the true value of a pound or a dollar....Don't desert him, there is no place like home or anything like old friendship....and some abroad still relish that nostalgia feelings about home and as best buddies that goes way back, you can help to bridge that connection.

so much wisdom.... omg, I love your post, may God bless you abundantly, AMEN!

WhiteJacket:

But its very common, and they ve experienced it probably many times.

I personally have helped many of my friends too and I don't have a problem with it. Infact, I ve had negative experiences where some old friend called and was arrogantly asking for money for his "sick mum". Because I use to know him and his family very well,I decided to help. So he kept bugging my phone daily for the money, till I eventually helped and just as he came out of nowhere, he disappeared into nowhere. Well, I don't let that bother me, neither do I think of opening threads on it.
My second experience was with a lady. She asked for some money, I mistakenly sent triple the amount(my phone banking was acting up) So when she saw it, I asked she return the extra to my brother,... Guess what, she started bargaining the return amount and how much I could let go off... on my own money o. I had to be firm to ensure she returned some of it. At that point, what i thought was that the only thing she owed me was honesty in returning the balance, since there was no way I could find you or chase you up. Tell me. if you ve had these sort of experiences, you wouldn't be cautious when talking with people over there.

wow....m shocked

franchasng:
It is so sad that most of the people that commented on the first page didn't get the message the poster was trying to pass, instead they dived in to condemn and attack the innocent guy voicing out his concern.

In life, nobody loves to lose his closest of friends, when we lose our closest of friends for any reason or circumstances, it hurts us, I think that's why the op is feeling bad. He's feeling bad that his friend and brother's relocation abroad has brought separation between them that the brother no longer care to even say hello to him thinking he's trying to beg him for money or something, not cool; he ought to have waited for him to beg him for money or favor first, then he can caution him and if he repeats the begging, then he can block him, its that simple. Life is not as complicated as some people make it to be seriously.

98% of my childhood and school closest pals are now living abroad. I refused to travel out because I have big dream financial dreams; so big that I doubted it could be achieved abroad lol.

I earn better than majority of my friends abroad who are medical guys, and they respect me a lot and are always the ones calling me both on video call or Whatsapp call. I can't remember the last time I grabbed my phone to initiate call to any; they usually call first because they know I am far better off than them and they know I can never beg them for anything, what could I beg them lol Instead of begging them for money or favor, I connect them to business deals they can do and make money from here.

So I think friends or relatives abroad try as much to avoid their friends or relatives back home whom they think or feel are not doing well financially and may start bothering them for money and favor, which to me is not cool, don't classify everybody in Nigeria as hungry lol, millions of Nigerians living in Nigeria are doing financially better than even white people doing top jobs, not exegerating at all, cos if u know u know lol

Don't assume people's motive, always wait for them to act first before u assume what they are after or up to.

Myself that live in Nigeria, I get lots of friends also here in Nigeria calling and messaging often asking me for favor with either money, business support or career assistance, and God knows I don't ever feel bad or block any, I only help when I can and explain why I can't help at the time, no big deal.

We should be happy in life that we have to give. I always tell my financially capable friends both the ones at home and the ones abroad that guys, we all should be grateful to God that we are doing well financially and have money to give to others, that it is not by our smartness or intelligence alone that we are better off than others who are struggling but by the special grace and favor of God Almighty because there are millions of smart intelligent people who are broke and suffering.

God hear me this morning, I want to have more and more money so I can be the one all my community, my state and even Nigerians will be coming to to ask for help, dear God I will not be angry, you know my heart already Lord, I will help even more as you bless me with more.

God use me more. I want to help as many people as possible with joy, whether I am in Nigeria or abroad, Jehovah bless me so much that I can help thousands or millions of people in need to the glory of your name, amen!

Its unfortunate that we black people are so wicked and heartless to each other.

White people are not like us.

Have u guys read the story of Cristiano Ronaldo Ronaldo have a childhood friend whom he played football together with back in Portugal, that his friend played better than Ronaldo who later went to train as a professional pilot. Unfortunately his friend couldn't blow in football but Ronaldo blew and became very successful in football. Guess what Ronaldo takes care of his friend till date. His friend lives as large as Ronaldo; drive luxury cars, live in big mansion, all thanks to Ronaldo who never deserted him haven made it big. He continued to help his friend and make him have a feel of being rich even though his friend isn't rich.

That's white people for you, but we blacks are so wicked to ourselves.

Even Buhari forgot and abandoned all his mates and former driver wretched and poor. What would it take for a president of a nation to help anybody he wishes to help Its in the gene of majority of black people to be wicked and heartless to their fellow blacks, but God please continue to help me to be different, to be a different breed of black person, anen

Dangote and Otedola and all the so called Nigerian billionaires don't have scholarships and grants going on in all Nigerian higher institutions to help the poor students, they are rich enough to do those things but go to USA or Europe, all the millionaires and billionaire have scholarships and grants for all students, accessible to the selected students based on performance criteria.

[b]Why can't our Nigerian billionares do same [/b]Wickedness! We are so wicked and selfish we only think about ourselves and our immediate family members and closest friends and that's the reason our leaders are so corrupt looting public fund for their personal pocket and family enrichment.

Dear God please use me, I am willing and waiting to be used to help millions. Bless me more father. You have blessed me already I won't deny you father but bless me more so I can help more needy people, thank you father for answered prayer.

Op take heart and focus on your struggle to make it, that your friend will remember u someday. Forget him, he is not a worthy friend, he is a worthless fool, feeling prideful for traveling abroad to labor. I hate people with such myopic mentality, even if your needy friend who thinks u are doing better than him asks you for favor and so fucking what

YOUR BIGGEST PROBLEM IS IGNORANCE.... it is a human nature to be greedy, regardless of skin color. You hear of PONZI scheme, which is the same as MMM that stole people's money, you think a Nigerian, African or Black man was the originator of PONZI?

Little mind, let me school you a bit, have you heard of BERNIE MADDOF (Bernard Lawrence Maddof?) google is your friend!

in conclusion - MOST billionaires in europe and usa who give out do so, so they can pay less taxes on earned revenue not because they are nice or think better than the black man you have so demonized here. a billionaire who makes 300 million dollar profit a year falls into a tax bracket of almost 55% which is $165 going to federal, state and county taxes, but if he gives away like $20 million in charitable donations which includes the scholarship you mentioned, his taxes reduces from that $165 million a year to like $75 million so he gets to keep extra $70 million tax free because the system pardons him a bit, SO THE USA AND EUROPE BILLIONAIRE HELPS NOT BECAUSE HE IS GOOD, BUT IN ORDER TO KEEP MORE OF HIS MONEY FROM THE TAX MAN ----

kizyalex10:
u got it wrong bro,some guys act the way dey do because of what dey have been through,people believe we pick money abroad and they believe abroad is a sure bet to success.but then again is nt.let me give u an example with myself.i was doing well in nigeria.very well in nigeria bfor i decided to migrate.bfor then i send request to people on fb nd dey accept.i post a pix or write up nd i get 3 likes nd maybe two comments.but immidiately i migrated,even when i post things dat is nt too relevant,i get minimum of 80 to 100 likes nd comments,up till dis day i get up to 20 friend requests daily,from people u knw who never knew u were existing in nigeria to people who randomly send requests.the funniest is dat some add u straight away to ask u for house nd shop rents.lol.am doing quite fine here also in nigeria.but the fact that i have crossed over to their mentality d promise land where u pick money on the streets,they believe u re rich.now tell me,re these people friends for real or friends with benefit.am nt supporting dis guy for saying he will block his day one guy for asking after him but frustrations from random people can cause it.thou i have nt insulted anybody or rudely talk to them no matter hw frustating they re.abroad dont change people but people make them change or they see them as they have changed.i pray u come over too.another is the lifestyle in abroad is quite different from that of naija.i nd my siblings re here nd some re in nigeria.i hardly chat them because of time yet am always online.u see it as arrogance i guess.but the truth is dat i pay for wifi monthly nd in my work place there is wifi so am always online,but the everyday work stress makes it hard for me to chat,i hardly initiate chats because i might be busy when u reply so i only read messages when am less busy nd den reply.and my siblings understands .i have a connected tv but believe me its been up to 2 months i have switched it on cos of time nd fatique.any little time i get.i use it to sleep nd rest.thanks

stop explaining yourself, they will never believe you even if Moses and Elijah stand as your witnesses

ogbonti:




YOUR BIGGEST PROBLEM IS IGNORANCE.... it is a human nature to be greedy, regardless of skin color. You hear of PONZI scheme, which is the same as MMM that stole people's money, you think a Nigerian, African or Black man was the originator of PONZI?

Little mind, let me school you a bit, have you heard of BERNIE MADDOF (Bernard Lawrence Maddof?) google is your friend!

in conclusion - MOST billionaires in europe and usa who give out do so, so they can pay less taxes on earned revenue not because they are nice or think better than the black man you have so demonized here. a billionaire who makes 300 million dollar profit a year falls into a tax bracket of almost 55% which is $165 going to federal, state and county taxes, but if he gives away like $20 million in charitable donations which includes the scholarship you mentioned, his taxes reduces from that $165 million a year to like $75 million so he gets to keep extra $70 million tax free because the system pardons him a bit, SO THE USA AND EUROPE BILLIONAIRE HELPS NOT BECAUSE HE IS GOOD, BUT IN ORDER TO KEEP MORE OF HIS MONEY FROM THE TAX MAN ----

any link on this tax principle please?

Contumely:


any link on this tax principle please?

the US tax system and rates of payment is complicated, tax exemptions and penalties for individuals and corporations are not flat rate or a "one size fits all" rate.. apart from a quasi-uniform federal tax rate on some categories of tax payers, heavily taxed states like New York and California are different from low tax -liability states like Mississippi and Georgia. I cant explain further. I have lived here almost 2 decades to know and experience what I just shared with you . you can look up "tax shelters or tax breaks for wealthy individuals and corporations in the US" in google, you may find links that suit whatever you want to believe or ignore. Humbly, I will tell you that I do not get paid to do research and post links on nairaland..... God bless you and good luck!

linearity:
Give him time, if you guys were true friends as you have indicated, he will definitely reconnect with you.

The truth is, going abroad especially with a visa and no work permit is very difficult. Even those who have work permit before traveling abroad are having it very difficult. You get discriminated against based on the color of your skin and the way you talk.

Many have many problems they had to sort through, I don't think, the issue with him is saying 'Hi' back to you. Many feel disappointed, dejected and depressed when they come face to face with the reality on ground, but despite all that, they struggle to put a good showing. If they call back home and say things are not good for them abroad, people back home will not believe them, some will even curse them and say they are there in abroad 'wasting their visa'.

The other thing is, when you travel abroad; the list of people that depend on you or call you for one thing or the other increase through the roof and you truly don't know what will follow the next "Hi" or call from home; so many just adopt the "maintaining the low profile" strategy until their head is above the water a little bit.

If you are a true friend, once in a while; instead of just "Hi"; send him a lengthy message. Things like birthday wishes, telling him you know it is hard, but let him keep fighting....try to differentiate yourself from the other myriad of people who hide behind a "Hi" to request for this and that...and he will open up to you about what he is going through....you will better appreciate and understand him.

Don't read much meaning into him sending his gf money....he might not even know the gf is cheating on him in Nigeria like you indicated and he might just be thinking, she is a wife-material....even in Nigeria, it is common place for guys to be more close to their gf compare to their best friends and if it comes to choosing just one, some guys even in Nigeria will choose their gf over their best friend....so, sending his gf money and not even responding to your "Hi" does not mean, he picked up that trait merely because he traveled out or trying to 'act big'.

Very few Nigerians who work really hard for their money and leave abroad 'act big' because they themselves know the dehumanizing jobs and situations through which they make that money, some can't even disclose to you what the do to earn that money because they are ashamed that you will laugh at them. Most of those who show-up and 'act big', did not really struggle hard to make that money, so they do not know the true value of a pound or a dollar....Don't desert him, there is no place like home or anything like old friendship....and some abroad still relish that nostalgia feelings about home and as best buddies that goes way back, you can help to bridge that connection.

U just made my day. God bless you for this piece.

People think it's all rosy in 'abroad'. While the truth is that it takes years for one to get his feet out there.

ogbonti:



stop explaining yourself, they will never believe you even if Moses and Elijah stand as your witnesses

ok good one bro...I will like to meet you if you mind...inbox me your email please...

[quote author=NwaAmaikpe post=73121984]


Dear Handsomeyitayo,

I can tell you are in pain.
The problem is, you are a potential leech and your brother in his wisdom has seen this and has cut you off before you push him into trouble.

Do you know folks like you who have lofty assumptions and make hefty demands from relatives abroad are the cause of the crimes Nigerians commit abroad just to meet up with your expectations.

It is not your business if his girlfriend is fvcking around, neither is it your business if he sends her money.
The only allegiance your brother owes you is NOTHING. He is not obliged to keep in touch with you.

It is sad that the okirika winter jacket and used shoe you gave him is the bargaining chip to your emotional blackmail.

Ogbeni,
Don't be a beggar. Hustle for yourself and expect nothing from anyone. If you think life is easy outside Nigeria, go get yourself a passport then a visa and travel.
Better still, you can cross from.so u get sense sef

[quote author=gees101 post=73368271][/quote]am not begging guys.. how much will he give me that will make me millionaire..I am working and am OK ..I just want to say hi...

handsomeyitayo:
am not begging guys.. how much will he give me that will make me millionaire..I am working and am OK ..I just want to say hi...

hello house, l want to trave l need some one that can put me true, and where should l go?

handsomeyitayo:
am not begging guys.. how much will he give me that will make me millionaire..I am working and am OK ..I just want to say hi...

i understand u broda